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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Default INTPs and their social life.

    This is just something that just goes around my head. I don't want to impose any idea or something but I just wanna know how others can relate to this. I just need your thoughts.

    _________

    It has been said in another thread that INTPs can be interpreted by the sensors as someone hardly different from INTJs or ISTJs even. Sure enough, I'm getting that "dork" ISTJ image myself. Though there's something I realized back then that would change the way I would view my social life (this was waaaaay before I've learned about MBTI)--I'm not as driven as the intellectual J types, and if I fail on getting what society considers as achievements, I would mess up both sides of the spectrum--I would mess up the trail to "achievement", and not only that, but also the opportunity to go out more and interact with people.

    INTP life is hard because on the outside, we look like we have the intellectual competency of an NTJ or an STJ, but in reality, we're sort of as laid back as the more social SF's, and neither of the two types really like us that much, and come to think of it, we enjoy neither of their perks (achievements of the xTJ's or the social coolness of the SFs). But we share with them are their cons--the anxiety of NTJs (because we see the big picture as much as them), and the living the life at the moment of the SFPs (because we're so anti-structure).

    It's a future vision that I was having a few years back and I thought it was frightening (I can't lose both). For some obscure reason, I chose to be proactive with my social life first, because it was long overdue. Career on the other hand, is pretty much a lifetime thing (at least how I view it). The promise of achievement with intellectualism and work as a driving source at the price of social isolation doesn't seem to be worth it, in my opinion.

    ________________

    For one, interacting with people is more enjoyable because....

    1. It keeps you off (or gives you a counter activity) to the rigorous working SJ environment.

    2. It develops your spontaneity

    3. If anything, good socialization thrives in a less uptight/structured environment.

    4. If you're an INTP who always gets accused of being laid back, then you might as well live the life and enjoy it for it's fun value. You'll get that accusation all the time anyway.

    5. In the end, you can still get a career by being a good people person.

    __________________

    Some observations I had years later.

    1. Contrary to popular beliefs that INTPs are being ridiculed by extroverted sensors for their weirdness, there is a certain group of extroverted sensors (the less egotistic types, I assume) that are drawn to INTPs, possibly because of the "mature" image they show, and their laid back image. They seem to project an image that they're the more accessible types among the intellectuals, let's say, as opposed to J types who always have something to do.

    2. Actually, some of these extroverted sensors (who are probably trying to develop their Ne/P axis, probably to broaden the horizon of their Se/P artistic merits), would even be surprised by how an INTP can read between the lines and interpret them like no one can. Though one thing I notice is that, no matter how much you tickle their fancy with your Ne/Ti, they still won't develop them as fast as you may want them too.

    Of course, you'll get appreciations from them every now and then and they'll even tell you that what you have is cool, but that doesn't mean they can develop it easily just by your sheer presence. Some of them don't really develop it much, and expect them to commit the same mistakes over and over again, and they'll ask you for your help on the same issues again and again. We may think that Ne (understanding of correlation) and Ni (understanding of implications) is something we so easily understand. Well, some people don't, if not most of them.

    3. Introverted Thinking is a very anti social function. Really. People are amazed why INTPs have a jacked up Ti. It seems to be an unneeded function and people are wondering why one may need to over analyze something. If TJs can sometimes be hated for their conviction, Ti is hated for it's manner of explaining things. Even before the Ti comes with a judgment, it will already come off as arrogant just for the manner it explains things explicitly putting multiple perspectives into consideration. And good luck for finding that extroverted sensor who won't start to rant or laugh a few minutes after you've started talking

    3. We seem to draw NFs (It's like NF and NT are sexual partners in the mental sense. LOL!). Their intuition can see beyond what is apparent and they'll always have the urge to use their F's an an anti thesis (or another perspective) to our Ts

    4. I don't know if this is just me, but i really have a quite strategic way of keeping the people that I get to know (It's kinda like I compartmentalize them). It's kinda like I already have a preemptive idea (intuition based) on how a person would interpret me, as well as the possible relationship dynamics that I would have the person, therefore having a good idea about the pros and cons of the relationship.

    I told this to my INFx female friend and she says that it's a bit cynical of me to have this outlook. She has a less developed ego than I am, and she just tries to care unconditionally to everyone, and she's kinda surprised that I have quite a gray take on this. There's a genuine care for another person, but also, there's a bit of cynicism involved.


    Edit: I'm tired typing. I'll continue later.

  2. #2
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    agree with the compartmentalizing. i can easily gather from my Ne and Ti function about how a person is (e.g. his/her worldview, social class, upbringing, type of education, etc) and thus i cater to what the person wants to see of me, unless my Ne is hostile to the person (i read that this is the immature tendency of INTPs. we can get so judgmental)

    coupled with the P which is laid-back and open-ended, and it seems like i am passive in a way: i let people form their opinions of me, not bothering to correct them. thus, depending whom you ask, i am either arrogant or humble, boring or fun.

    and yeah, the Ti is buried deep down. nothing more is threatening than intellect, especially in this day where society thrives on the lowest common denominator and presents everything in neat, little simplified packages.

    friendship is great! but i never let people get to close. i maintain a certain extent of aloofness and detachment.

  3. #3
    Is Willard in Footloose!! CJ99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by groovejet02 View Post
    agree with the compartmentalizing. i can easily gather from my Ne and Ti function about how a person is (e.g. his/her worldview, social class, upbringing, type of education, etc) and thus i cater to what the person wants to see of me, unless my Ne is hostile to the person (i read that this is the immature tendency of INTPs. we can get so judgmental)

    coupled with the P which is laid-back and open-ended, and it seems like i am passive in a way: i let people form their opinions of me, not bothering to correct them. thus, depending whom you ask, i am either arrogant or humble, boring or fun.

    and yeah, the Ti is buried deep down. nothing more is threatening than intellect, especially in this day where society thrives on the lowest common denominator and presents everything in neat, little simplified packages.

    friendship is great! but i never let people get to close. i maintain a certain extent of aloofness and detachment.
    I know what you mean by the passive thing and the Ti. My sis said the other day its like i'm invisible alot of the time but then i randomly seem to just come into reality and have this aura. She said it was like an intense see through you kind of thing that people apparently can find intimidating. It made me think that maybe when i'm unsure around people and so don't think they like me that its just they are intimidated.
    "I'd never die for my beliefs, I might be wrong"

    "Is it not enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairys at the bottom of it too"

    "Intelligence is being able to hold too opposing views in the mind at the one time without going crazy" - Now all I need to figure out is if I'm intelligent or crazy!

  4. #4
    Widdles in your cream.
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    My iNtuition tells me this will be a very short thread.
    Um, yeah.

  5. #5
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    What social life?

  6. #6
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risen View Post
    What social life?
    Dude, don't steal my posts :steam:

    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  7. #7
    Senior Member groovejet02's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Risen View Post
    What social life?
    Awww

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Ehh, I have one but I don't find it particularly important. I've got a good collection of friends, I enjoy hanging out with them, but when I'm around people I don't know it just gets...boring and uneventful. I'd much rather read a book, watch a good movie, or play a video game. I can function perfectly fine outside my "flesh and bone spaceship" as Synarch wonderfully put it, I just don't really find it interesting.

    There are times I wish I could get more enjoyment out of people and socializing. I just don't. Which is unfortunate, because I think I would benefit from knowing more people and getting more perspectives.



  9. #9
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    The INTPs I know that actually socialize have TONS of friends, of all types. That just depends on whether you actually want to get to know people.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  10. #10
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I can agree with that. I really had no problem getting people to like me and may have come off as an ENTP in high school, as I had a good number of friends that varied across a bunch of groups. For a while I battled with thinking I was an entp type but eventually I settled here, as I am pretty strongly introverted, I just tend to hide it well I guess.



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