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[INTP] INTPs and their social life.

Cypocalypse

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2008
Messages
252
MBTI Type
eNtP
Enneagram
4w5/
This is just something that just goes around my head. I don't want to impose any idea or something but I just wanna know how others can relate to this. I just need your thoughts.

_________

It has been said in another thread that INTPs can be interpreted by the sensors as someone hardly different from INTJs or ISTJs even. Sure enough, I'm getting that "dork" ISTJ image myself. Though there's something I realized back then that would change the way I would view my social life (this was waaaaay before I've learned about MBTI)--I'm not as driven as the intellectual J types, and if I fail on getting what society considers as achievements, I would mess up both sides of the spectrum--I would mess up the trail to "achievement", and not only that, but also the opportunity to go out more and interact with people.

INTP life is hard because on the outside, we look like we have the intellectual competency of an NTJ or an STJ, but in reality, we're sort of as laid back as the more social SF's, and neither of the two types really like us that much, and come to think of it, we enjoy neither of their perks (achievements of the xTJ's or the social coolness of the SFs). But we share with them are their cons--the anxiety of NTJs (because we see the big picture as much as them), and the living the life at the moment of the SFPs (because we're so anti-structure).

It's a future vision that I was having a few years back and I thought it was frightening (I can't lose both). For some obscure reason, I chose to be proactive with my social life first, because it was long overdue. Career on the other hand, is pretty much a lifetime thing (at least how I view it). The promise of achievement with intellectualism and work as a driving source at the price of social isolation doesn't seem to be worth it, in my opinion.

________________

For one, interacting with people is more enjoyable because....

1. It keeps you off (or gives you a counter activity) to the rigorous working SJ environment.

2. It develops your spontaneity

3. If anything, good socialization thrives in a less uptight/structured environment.

4. If you're an INTP who always gets accused of being laid back, then you might as well live the life and enjoy it for it's fun value. You'll get that accusation all the time anyway.

5. In the end, you can still get a career by being a good people person.

__________________

Some observations I had years later.

1. Contrary to popular beliefs that INTPs are being ridiculed by extroverted sensors for their weirdness, there is a certain group of extroverted sensors (the less egotistic types, I assume) that are drawn to INTPs, possibly because of the "mature" image they show, and their laid back image. They seem to project an image that they're the more accessible types among the intellectuals, let's say, as opposed to J types who always have something to do.

2. Actually, some of these extroverted sensors (who are probably trying to develop their Ne/P axis, probably to broaden the horizon of their Se/P artistic merits), would even be surprised by how an INTP can read between the lines and interpret them like no one can. Though one thing I notice is that, no matter how much you tickle their fancy with your Ne/Ti, they still won't develop them as fast as you may want them too.

Of course, you'll get appreciations from them every now and then and they'll even tell you that what you have is cool, but that doesn't mean they can develop it easily just by your sheer presence. Some of them don't really develop it much, and expect them to commit the same mistakes over and over again, and they'll ask you for your help on the same issues again and again. We may think that Ne (understanding of correlation) and Ni (understanding of implications) is something we so easily understand. Well, some people don't, if not most of them.

3. Introverted Thinking is a very anti social function. Really. People are amazed why INTPs have a jacked up Ti. It seems to be an unneeded function and people are wondering why one may need to over analyze something. If TJs can sometimes be hated for their conviction, Ti is hated for it's manner of explaining things. Even before the Ti comes with a judgment, it will already come off as arrogant just for the manner it explains things explicitly putting multiple perspectives into consideration. And good luck for finding that extroverted sensor who won't start to rant or laugh a few minutes after you've started talking

3. We seem to draw NFs (It's like NF and NT are sexual partners in the mental sense. LOL!). Their intuition can see beyond what is apparent and they'll always have the urge to use their F's an an anti thesis (or another perspective) to our Ts

4. I don't know if this is just me, but i really have a quite strategic way of keeping the people that I get to know (It's kinda like I compartmentalize them). It's kinda like I already have a preemptive idea (intuition based) on how a person would interpret me, as well as the possible relationship dynamics that I would have the person, therefore having a good idea about the pros and cons of the relationship.

I told this to my INFx female friend and she says that it's a bit cynical of me to have this outlook. She has a less developed ego than I am, and she just tries to care unconditionally to everyone, and she's kinda surprised that I have quite a gray take on this. There's a genuine care for another person, but also, there's a bit of cynicism involved.


Edit: I'm tired typing. I'll continue later. :)
 

groovejet02

New member
Joined
Jan 9, 2009
Messages
199
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
agree with the compartmentalizing. i can easily gather from my Ne and Ti function about how a person is (e.g. his/her worldview, social class, upbringing, type of education, etc) and thus i cater to what the person wants to see of me, unless my Ne is hostile to the person (i read that this is the immature tendency of INTPs. we can get so judgmental)

coupled with the P which is laid-back and open-ended, and it seems like i am passive in a way: i let people form their opinions of me, not bothering to correct them. thus, depending whom you ask, i am either arrogant or humble, boring or fun.

and yeah, the Ti is buried deep down. nothing more is threatening than intellect, especially in this day where society thrives on the lowest common denominator and presents everything in neat, little simplified packages.

friendship is great! but i never let people get to close. i maintain a certain extent of aloofness and detachment.
 

CJ99

Is Willard in Footloose!!
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
582
MBTI Type
ENTP
agree with the compartmentalizing. i can easily gather from my Ne and Ti function about how a person is (e.g. his/her worldview, social class, upbringing, type of education, etc) and thus i cater to what the person wants to see of me, unless my Ne is hostile to the person (i read that this is the immature tendency of INTPs. we can get so judgmental)

coupled with the P which is laid-back and open-ended, and it seems like i am passive in a way: i let people form their opinions of me, not bothering to correct them. thus, depending whom you ask, i am either arrogant or humble, boring or fun.

and yeah, the Ti is buried deep down. nothing more is threatening than intellect, especially in this day where society thrives on the lowest common denominator and presents everything in neat, little simplified packages.

friendship is great! but i never let people get to close. i maintain a certain extent of aloofness and detachment.

I know what you mean by the passive thing and the Ti. My sis said the other day its like i'm invisible alot of the time but then i randomly seem to just come into reality and have this aura. She said it was like an intense see through you kind of thing that people apparently can find intimidating. It made me think that maybe when i'm unsure around people and so don't think they like me that its just they are intimidated.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
My iNtuition tells me this will be a very short thread.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
Ehh, I have one but I don't find it particularly important. I've got a good collection of friends, I enjoy hanging out with them, but when I'm around people I don't know it just gets...boring and uneventful. I'd much rather read a book, watch a good movie, or play a video game. I can function perfectly fine outside my "flesh and bone spaceship" as Synarch wonderfully put it, I just don't really find it interesting.

There are times I wish I could get more enjoyment out of people and socializing. I just don't. Which is unfortunate, because I think I would benefit from knowing more people and getting more perspectives.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
The INTPs I know that actually socialize have TONS of friends, of all types. That just depends on whether you actually want to get to know people. :)
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I can agree with that. I really had no problem getting people to like me and may have come off as an ENTP in high school, as I had a good number of friends that varied across a bunch of groups. For a while I battled with thinking I was an entp type but eventually I settled here, as I am pretty strongly introverted, I just tend to hide it well I guess.
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
MBTI Type
Hype
I'm just a stone in the river wake that people might pass by on the flow of life...

Just a stone in the wake, son!
 

ring the bell

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Jun 10, 2008
Messages
332
I've always identified pretty strongly with INTP, though I've wondered at times if I'm not more of an INxP. I think it's a common misconception that the introversion of an INTP just makes that person anti-social. I go through periods where I just don't want to be around people, but I also go through times where I do. I have friends, people I connect with on a deeper level. I think maybe it's not as easy for an INTP to find the right connection with another person as easily and the environment has to be just right if it's going to be a lasting one. The things that I go out and do socially must have some sort of mental stimulation involved with it, because I don't want to go and just drink for the sake of drinking. Playing pool, for example, is fun as it can be a game of true skill. Or going to a movie then discussing it with friends afterwards. I've always been attuned to hearing other people's reactions and trying to understand their viewpoints. I like to understand other people's ideas, how they think, and why they think that way.. but only people who hold my interest somehow. NF's and NT's generally fit the bill...

as to intimidation.. I've had a habit of hanging out with mostly guys. They tell me that I easily intimdate women. I've always felt that most girls just don't like me. Guys tell me that I can have a look of intensity about me that makes it seem I'm going to steal a person's soul.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
it seems odd to associate T with withdrawal, cause by that standard i'd be more T than you.

it's my psychological orientation that makes me refrain from people. i can not just "play" smalltalk like it was chess, because i have to feel and analyze it, i can not "take" any ideological suggestions from darwinist people everywhere like they "are not personal", because i am aware of the projected self-hatred of these "strong will" people.

it takes so much mental energy to psychoanalyze this (to get done with it) and fix your boundaries again (eg, use shadow-work, or do a tonglen-breath), after some idiots projection has attempted to turn the world upside down.

would be cool if i could just switch my psychological/causal dimension off for once, like most s types and a lot of NT types do. being practical, superficial. how hard can it be to switch from computer geek talk to car-mechanics talk to conform with the sensing world?

so you T folks are all so much more social that me.
 

Tiny Army

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Jan 12, 2009
Messages
679
MBTI Type
EN?P
Enneagram
7
You can always tell the difference between an INTJ and INTP in social situations because of something I like to call the snark factor. It's why I love NTPs so much.

Ti makes observations about everything. The Ne/Ti axis of the ENTP makes them excellent self promoters. They're very involved in the conversation at hand and provide any and all information they have about the topic and play of what others in the conversation say.

The Ti dominant INTP has hella observations stored up from before. They throw them all out in conversations. This can be perceived as witty intellectualism or (if the INTP is drunk or socially awkward enough) douchebaggery.
 

Grungemouse

Widdles in your cream.
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
577
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
it seems odd to associate T with withdrawal, cause by that standard i'd be more T than you.

it's my psychological orientation that makes me refrain from people. i can not just "play" smalltalk like it was chess, because i have to feel and analyze it, i can not "take" any ideological suggestions from darwinist people everywhere like they "are not personal", because i am aware of the projected self-hatred of these "strong will" people.

it takes so much mental energy to psychoanalyze this (to get done with it) and fix your boundaries again (eg, use shadow-work, or do a tonglen-breath), after some idiots projection has attempted to turn the world upside down.

would be cool if i could just switch my psychological/causal dimension off for once, like most s types and a lot of NT types do. being practical, superficial. how hard can it be to switch from computer geek talk to car-mechanics talk to conform with the sensing world?

so you T folks are all so much more social that me.

That may be true. But you seem more bothered about your 'asocial' behaviour. I have no social life and I'm perfectly contented.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
That may be true. But you seem more bothered about your 'asocial' behaviour. I have no social life and I'm perfectly contented.

Haha, same! I don't really do much yet feel completely fulfilled. Going out with some close friends is nice once in a while but I don't see my solitude as a character flaw. Just a preference that makes me productive and feel fulfilled.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
Grungemouse said:
That may be true. But you seem more bothered about your 'asocial' behaviour. I have no social life and I'm perfectly contented.

very true. i have big longing, but no skill or bravery to .... grab people, check them for compatibility, throw out the rest ...
but still, i CAN be alone. for years. am patient. but i would need to be of service to feel alive.
 
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