I have a boyfriend who is an INTP. He has taken the test multiple times. Well, the reason I'm writing this because of my sweetie is that I could use a dose of INTP logic. And I want to understand better where he is coming from with certain stuff.
I know that in my boyfriend's past there are some issues with emotional control and impulsivity. He left high school due to school refusal-- was diagnosed severe anxiety and depression and just stopped going. He ended up going to a school for kids with behavioral and learning disabilities. He has been described by several people as a former "angry" teen.
Then in college the first year, apparently he was busted with alcohol, drugs, and vandalism, plus he had a friend who stole some guy's wallet and they both got caught. He was thrown out.
This was a huge trauma but he seemed to do better. I think he has matured since then.
He loves studying everything-- sports, theater, the occult, math, music-- and is developing a lot of artistic projects. I think he will really come into his own this year.
However, generally, I see a huge discrepancy between the complete emotional turmoil of his past, and the sensitive, gentle, somewhat scholarly boy that I love spending time with and have come to care about more than anyone. If anything, he has two "vices" the first of which is being shy which makes me love him even more. And the second is being angry.
I am baffled sometimes when I see another version of him come out, and he'll just be angry and upset.
He is by far the more sentimental and gentle of the two of us, but at the same time, he can get quite testy. We have thought about going to see a relationship therapist over this. He has said he thinks it's just him, he needs more work. But I am sure my own blind spots contribute to us fighting.
I just want to know him better. Any ideas, INTPs? We have been dating a year and yet I feel there are so many aspects of him that I can't understand.