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  1. #31
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I have two primary social gears I interact in - one is a professional gear in which I know what I'm supposed to do and say and the other is personal. I can make eye contact when I am in control, or the person I'm interacting with is more vulnerable than me because I make eye contact to reassure people.

    I have incredible trouble with eye contact when I feel vulnerable or the situation is potentially more personal.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  2. #32
    IRL is not real Cimarron's Avatar
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    Yes, at this point, I just have accepted it and said, "Who needs eye contact?" (rolling eyes at self) I know people appreciate being "listened" to, so I face them and glance every few seconds to look them in the eyes, then stare "near" them or "past" them for a few seconds to break direct contact, then shift back again to reaffirm contact, and so on. That's my current thing based on gut-comfort-level, it may change in the future. Staring into someone's eyes feels it would be very penetrating and invasive to them, (I don't worry as much when it's directed at me) so it's only done if intentional to provoke strong emotion, or because of being genuinely lost in something interesting.

    And actually, I assume/feel someone's not paying full attention to me when they're not looking at me when we're talking. Double standard!
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

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