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Thread: INTP + INFJ

  1. #81
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post


    The other side is, of course, is that it's dangerous to draw any conclusions about the accuracy of type descriptions from disgruntled exes.
    This, definitely.
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  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    So, if A LOT of INFJs are casual about relationships, abrasive, domineering, etc, then either the type descriptions for INFJ are off; or there are a lot of unhealthy INFJs not acting INFJ-like out there (because by and large an unhealthy INFJ would be more likely to become a hermit than to become abrasive/domineering); or those people are not INFJs. (Or typology is a load of rubbish.)
    I'm pretty sure I'm an Fi-dom, but your description of the unhealthy INFJ fits me more than the abrasive domineering style. It's worth noting though that I've been accused of being an INFJ at one point, but I didn't agree with it. Also, the thing about the 4. It seems we have different opinion of what unhealthy 4 looks like. I think yours is geared towards a more extroverted sexual first 4. I've known only a few here and there in my life, but they seem to be more withdrawn, pessimistic, maybe feeling a bit entitled due to suffering, kind of elitist, and very ashamed (the thing that led to being withdrawn in the first place). So there's that.

    For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg

  3. #83
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    I'm pretty sure I'm an Fi-dom, but your description of the unhealthy INFJ fits me more than the abrasive domineering style. It's worth noting though that I've been accused of being an INFJ at one point, but I didn't agree with it. Also, the thing about the 4. It seems we have different opinion of what unhealthy 4 looks like. I think yours is geared towards a more extroverted sexual first 4. I've known only a few here and there in my life, but they seem to be more withdrawn, pessimistic, maybe feeling a bit entitled due to suffering, kind of elitist, and very ashamed (the thing that led to being withdrawn in the first place). So there's that.

    For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg
    Thanks, I will have to check out that video later. (I'm bad at typing people that way though!)

    For the record, I was obviously a bit unclear in my initial post. I wasn't actually trying to say that it's the unhealthy INFP 4 who does the cold abrasive domineering thing. My main point was just that I think a lot of people who type as INFJ are mistyped. Either that, or the range of INFJ behaviours is a lot vaster than I would have thought...

    In terms of mistyping, I think type 4 fits much better for INFP (among others) than it does for INFJs (though I am quite sure there are INFJ 4s as well). And some if not many of the hideous INFJ ex experiences people have had are such that I have to wonder if the ex was INFJ. I'm NOT saying this is because INFJs are all wonderful and would never hurt anyone - but there are behaviours that get attributed to INFJs that just seem very un-INFJ-like, even an unhealthy INFJ. This would make more sense if it turned out that the "INFJ" in question was mis-typing themselves, or had been mis-typed by the person describing them.
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  4. #84
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    ^Oh I see. Since we are on the topic of the E, maybe it's because the INFJ fall into a wider range of enneagram types? You've probably already considered that though. From an outsiders perspective I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 9 being strong possibilities for INFJ.

  5. #85
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    ^Oh I see. Since we are on the topic of the E, maybe it's because the INFJ fall into a wider range of enneagram types? You've probably already considered that though. From an outsiders perspective I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 9 being strong possibilities for INFJ.
    Yeah, I definitely agree that the e-type can give a lot of different flavours. And perhaps more for INFJ than some other types.

    I feel like I wrote a lot above but I explained myself badly and didn't really say what I wanted. Plus I derailed the thread.

    I don't really want to be one of those INFJs who goes around like "I'm the only true INFJ and everyone else is mistyping themselves..." I do get a gut feeling sometimes though that someone's description of an INFJ is just not INFJ at all. Also, I think I have seen too many INFJ forums and the like where they all sit around chanting at each other "I'm a special broken snowflake. The only thing that another type could reasonably not love about an INFJ is the fact that we can read their minds!!"
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  6. #86
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg
    I know this was directed at SilkRoad, and I only watched a short bit of the video, but all the "um-ing" and the looking off to the side while talking matches what I do a lot in conversations, especially when talking to an audience (real or imagined) so I would guess that she could be an INFJ. But note that I don't think I'm good at typing unless I know the person well, and even then...well.
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  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Yeah, I definitely agree that the e-type can give a lot of different flavours. And perhaps more for INFJ than some other types.

    I feel like I wrote a lot above but I explained myself badly and didn't really say what I wanted. Plus I derailed the thread.

    I don't really want to be one of those INFJs who goes around like "I'm the only true INFJ and everyone else is mistyping themselves..." I do get a gut feeling sometimes though that someone's description of an INFJ is just not INFJ at all. Also, I think I have seen too many INFJ forums and the like where they all sit around chanting at each other "I'm a special broken snowflake. The only thing that another type could reasonably not love about an INFJ is the fact that we can read their minds!!"
    I think a lot of people feel the same way, but bite their tongues for fear of being "That Guy". I agree with you though. There are people who deviate so much from type descriptions/theory that you wonder why they type that way in the first place. There is a bit of disparity in how people view themselves and how they actually are. I'm certainly not immune to it, so there's that fear as well, of being hypocritical haha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eilonwy View Post
    I know this was directed at SilkRoad, and I only watched a short bit of the video, but all the "um-ing" and the looking off to the side while talking matches what I do a lot in conversations, especially when talking to an audience (real or imagined) so I would guess that she could be an INFJ. But note that I don't think I'm good at typing unless I know the person well, and even then...well.
    I'm not really all that invested in that person's type. Just wanted to see if there are any external things, like demeanor, or thoughts, that would point to INFJ. Thanks.

  8. #88
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Loki View Post
    For fun, do you think this girl is INFJ?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZGp45kG1Yg
    istp 5w6 sx/sp. Ti eyes. vocal affectations don't really feel fit the natural Fe mark either.

  9. #89
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by the state i am in View Post
    istp 5w6 sx/sp. Ti eyes. vocal affectations don't really feel fit the natural Fe mark either.
    I'm not sure what I would have typed her as, but agree infj wouldn't have been it. But apparently she really thinks she is one, so... more power to her, I guess? lol.

    [I was also cringing at almost everything she was saying about the cog functions. Suffice it to say I don't really identify much with her or how she views and defines the functions and how they manifest in infj's, and the role they play in cognition/self; her presentation of self also doesn't strike me as very IxFJ, but as others have said in this thread, there's obviously variation within type and it's not like it's a science, so... yeah. .]
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  10. #90
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    The trouble with people who form very fixed opinions about their own superiority, is that when they are wrong, they can be very wrong indeed.

    The other side is, of course, is that it's dangerous to draw any conclusions about the accuracy of type descriptions from disgruntled exes.[/QUOTE]

    This is very true! I think you stop growing as a person when you formulate a belief system which exudes senority over others. Being respected is completely different then being feared. Most of the people I have met throughout my entire exaistance typically have had a relitivly shakey sense of who they really are. I think typogy can be good for some people and really counterproductive for others. I feel this way because I think there are quite a few people who misstype.

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