User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 138

Thread: INTP + INFJ

  1. #41
    Senior Member sulfit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/so
    Posts
    492

    Default

    In terms of socionics INFJs and INTPs are in relations of benefit according to this intertype relations chart.
    INFJ is benefactor of INTP (in socionics these types change to IEI and LII).

  2. #42
    Member COLORATURA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    82

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    @cafe

    i think i figured it out(at least partially). INFJs seem to be bit hard to approach, they behave in this weird way, like creating some walls by being distant(especially physically) in many ways at the beginning(dunno if they do it consciously or unconsciously). but yet, they seem to want someone who is more proactive(which ENTPs and ENFPs usually are) and can get past these obstacles that they create. and well, i cant do that because i see the obstacles, am pretty hypersensitive about peoples boundaries in general and just can find my way through them. so, because they create these obstacles which i cant get through, there cant really be any sort of intimacy happening, hence lack of sparks, even tho they like my mind and i like theirs -> friends. also i think the thing you mentioned about judging quick just makes it worse, i mean im pretty sure that i could navigate my way through the obstacles, if i had more time to do so..
    I think this really helped me figure out this INFJ I have been talking to. Maybe, possibly...anyway.

    I am not sure if that is it exactly, but I didn't want more time to figure it out. It was killing my ego to have to "chase" him.
    INTP
    5w4
    Phlegmatic

    http://www.spaceandmotion.com/

  3. #43
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by COLORATURA View Post
    I think this really helped me figure out this INFJ I have been talking to. Maybe, possibly...anyway.

    I am not sure if that is it exactly, but I didn't want more time to figure it out. It was killing my ego to have to "chase" him.
    yea, but i dont think "chasing" is the right word(chasing them will make them run away), following precisely the correct protocols(about how much to chase, when to let them come to you, how much to show interest and when, how to behave in certain situations, how to respond to them etc etc) would be better way of putting it imo.

    i do understand that acting certain way etc is needed for all types, but it feels like with INFJs those protocols are very strict, yes you passed or no thanks(as in being very black and white about the value judgments). and not being only strict about the protocols, in my quite limited experience, they tend to be passive as hell and not give much signs about whether you do something by the correct protocol or not, or maybe im just blind to INFJ cues about this. but what ever, as intriguing as some of them might be, they are too passive and play some games which i cant be arsed to play(or more like figure out what the heck is going on, which i think is the game that i have to play and they are just the judges who gives the rating of my performance and not even play it with me..), so they can play their games alone or come to me(which i doubt they do). i want someone who i can dance with(better yet if the other person wants to do some silly dances alone to make me laugh), not someone who is in the corner silently and still just to rate my dancing anyways..
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  4. #44
    Member COLORATURA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    82

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    yea, but i dont think "chasing" is the right word(chasing them will make them run away), following precisely the correct protocols(about how much to chase, when to let them come to you, how much to show interest and when, how to behave in certain situations, how to respond to them etc etc) would be better way of putting it imo.

    i do understand that acting certain way etc is needed for all types, but it feels like with INFJs those protocols are very strict, yes you passed or no thanks(as in being very black and white about the value judgments). and not being only strict about the protocols, in my quite limited experience, they tend to be passive as hell and not give much signs about whether you do something by the correct protocol or not, or maybe im just blind to INFJ cues about this. but what ever, as intriguing as some of them might be, they are too passive and play some games which i cant be arsed to play(or more like figure out what the heck is going on, which i think is the game that i have to play and they are just the judges who gives the rating of my performance and not even play it with me..), so they can play their games alone or come to me(which i doubt they do). i want someone who i can dance with(better yet if the other person wants to do some silly dances alone to make me laugh), not someone who is in the corner silently and still just to rate my dancing anyways..
    Yeah, "chasing" is my own definition. I suppose I feel that way b/c I am tired of trying to figure this certain one out. It feels like a never-ending chase. I used to be married to an INFJ & I had NO problems understanding him. Of course, I knew him for many, many years.
    INTP
    5w4
    Phlegmatic

    http://www.spaceandmotion.com/

  5. #45
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    1w2
    Posts
    38

    Default

    Met my INTP 7,5 years ago, started dating 6,5 years ago, started living together 6 years ago, got married 3,5 years ago. We had our ups and downs, but I'd consider us a very happy, solid couple. I love that he's honest and loyal. I love that he let's me run the household in the way I want it to be run. I love that he's willing to listen to my emotional rants. He loves that I understand him, that I'm the only one with whom he can truly be himself. He loves that I organise big parts of his life so he can focus on his job. And we are a perfect team in analysing the odd behaviour of the people around us The F vs T thing isn't such a big issue, maybe because my NJ-ness makes me pretty analytical, dunno. The J vs P is sometimes a problem, though.

    A typical, perfect weekend day in our marriage would be waking up, him making coffee which we drink in bed together with our two cats. Then we will probably make a list of possible activities for the day. Not a real to-do-list, more like a delicious menu to choose from. Apart from maybe taking a walk in the afternoon, we'll probably shut the outer world out completely. We'll play a video game, read a book sitting on the couch together, have some deep talk about something, drink some beer/wine, order a pizza and watch some talent show. The perfect way to recharge for another busy work week.

  6. #46
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    yea, but i dont think "chasing" is the right word(chasing them will make them run away), following precisely the correct protocols(about how much to chase, when to let them come to you, how much to show interest and when, how to behave in certain situations, how to respond to them etc etc) would be better way of putting it imo.
    If it requires detailed attention to protocol, one struggles to see how they could ever get together...

    Maybe just write this one off as "not being that into you." At least they are unambiguous about letting you know.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  7. #47
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    MBTI
    INfj
    Enneagram
    451 sx/so
    Socionics
    ENFj Ni
    Posts
    5,651

    Default

    Why, then, do they stalk me?
    Ni/Ti/Fe/Si
    4w5 5w4 1w9
    ~Torah observant, Christ inspired~
    Life Path 11

    The more one loves God, the more it is that having nothing in the world means everything, and the less one loves God, the more it is that having everything in the world means nothing.

    Do not resist an evil person, but to him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer also the other. ~Matthew 5:39

    songofmary.wordpress.com


  8. #48
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,595

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    yea, but i dont think "chasing" is the right word(chasing them will make them run away), following precisely the correct protocols(about how much to chase, when to let them come to you, how much to show interest and when, how to behave in certain situations, how to respond to them etc etc) would be better way of putting it imo.

    i do understand that acting certain way etc is needed for all types, but it feels like with INFJs those protocols are very strict, yes you passed or no thanks(as in being very black and white about the value judgments). and not being only strict about the protocols, in my quite limited experience, they tend to be passive as hell and not give much signs about whether you do something by the correct protocol or not, or maybe im just blind to INFJ cues about this. but what ever, as intriguing as some of them might be, they are too passive and play some games which i cant be arsed to play(or more like figure out what the heck is going on, which i think is the game that i have to play and they are just the judges who gives the rating of my performance and not even play it with me..), so they can play their games alone or come to me(which i doubt they do). i want someone who i can dance with(better yet if the other person wants to do some silly dances alone to make me laugh), not someone who is in the corner silently and still just to rate my dancing anyways..
    I'm wondering how you came to this conclusion. I realize I don't speak for all INFJ's, but what strikes me about this conclusion is just how perfectly opposite it is from how I think and interact socially. Fwiw I will speak from how I think and then attempt to relate a sense of MBTI theory to be relevant to more than one individual.

    There is definitely a social disconnect issue for me, but I find it results more from too much ability to adapt to different communication styles. It is difficult to internalize normalized communication and behaviors. I am more comfortable communicating with people outside the norm because it starts with a clean slate. I work with special needs students and can learn a wide range of communication styles, and so am generally less offended by others based on differences in communication. This does not generally put people at ease who operate from normalized social assumptions. I cannot play the subtle games required for interaction - especially in romantic interactions. I think people don't know how to approach me, and they don't know what to say because I can't talk about fashion, sports, or most ritualized topics. I smile at people and am known for being accepting, but still that doesn't result in people approaching me. I have no protocols for people to follow, and my main issue with interaction is to maintain a sense of my own desires, needs, expectations, because I can sincerely not be able to articulate what these are. I can get easily confused socially because I don't think in terms of a single system. There are so many systems occurring that I have to understand far more in order to reach a conclusion than people who operate from a single set of assumptions.

    This is my MBTI hypothesis about how INFJ could operate in a generalized manner. Ni causes people to have abstract, core concepts about how the universe works and can apply these in a fluid and ever changing manner depending on context, so understanding the INJ's perspective would necessitate having an understanding of their core assumptions. Fe is an externalized sense of subjective systems and so there is not an internalized, personal expectation about one form of communication or interaction. Fe is the social application which is filtered through some fluid core concept. This would not be detailed and systematic, but much more fluid. It would not be something representing rigid protocol.

    I may need to come back to this because I don't think my third paragraph represents what I am trying to say, but it is a start. Anyway, my lunch is ready, so I'll be back later...

    One more thought...
    People who operate from a normalized set of social and communicative assumptions work within a larger system of assumptions. As an INFJ I feel that I operate with numerous smaller systems that are inter-related, but not as comprehensive because each one is invented as I meet a new individual. My mind later takes Ni-Ti loops to construct order and interrelationships between these myriad systems. This is why INFJ can have insights that others miss, but can also miss social cues that others consider simple and obvious. INFJ attempts to continually adapt to the "protocols" of others rather than creating one complex set of their own. I would say that to get close to someone like me, it helps to speed up the process of helping me to become familiar with the system you operate from, and so clear communication is desired.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  9. #49
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    My INTP pretty nearly stalked me. It took me awhile to catch on. He just always seemed to be wherever I was right before I went to dinner. Then he walked me to the cafeteria and we ate together and hung out until he had to go to work or the dorm curfew (we were at Bible college), whichever came first. I'd already kind of decided I was marrying him, so it was okay. I'd more or less decided it by the end of our first conversation.

    The only ambiguity we ever had was when, early on, he sent me this card that said "friends" on it about a billion times. I freaked out at first, thinking he didn't like me romantically. Then I talked to some people that knew him and they told me he was probably trying not to scare me off. (I guess his courtship style had scared girls off before. Stalking. Big surprise.) I decided I would want to be his friend even if he was a woman (not my preferred gender), so it wasn't unethical for me to continue to be his friend even though my interest was not strictly platonic. He did not act as though his interest was platonic either, so I just waited to see.

    He proposed sooner than I expected or thought was prudent, but engagements aren't binding and I knew it was against school rules to get married during the school year, so I went with it.

    I did watch for deal-breakers during our engagement. I didn't want to end up getting divorced. There were two times when he was on the cusp, so to speak. Both times I was satisfied with his choices.

    I know it sounds stupid to say I just knew, almost immediately. I thought it was stupid at the time, but the feeling was very strong. It's still very strong and it really never should have worked. We were too young. We were too poor. We had kids too soon. We had too many kids. Two of our kids are 'special needs.' But I like him. I trust him. I respect him. I want him. And he doesn't try to hide from me. He actively seeks me out, not all the time. A guy has to keep up with current events and play WoW, after all, but he likes making me laugh. He likes telling me about articles he thinks I'd be interested in reading. I still have to keep telling him not to grope me in front of the kids. For an INTP, I'm pretty sure that means he likes me.

    I never saw the sense in leading someone on if I was pretty sure I wasn't interested in them. I did not play hard to get or anything like that when I felt it was right. I didn't chase, but I didn't run away. I didn't share my every thought, but I didn't mislead. The only 'obstacles' I put up was simply observing as objectively as I could despite my feelings of infatuation and lust, to determine whether or not I thought it was going to work long term. I almost always try to keep the long term future in mind. It's my nature to do so. Otherwise, I was pretty much all up on him.

    Not saying it's like that for all INFJs. No idea how it looked to anyone else or how many guys may have thought that we had potential. Probably not very many because I've never been what most people would call hot or anything like that. But that's how it was for me.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers
    Likes claypay liked this post

  10. #50
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    As far as the cues thing goes, I wouldn't really want to give too much feedback in a dating situation because I would not want someone acting in a way that might be contrary to their nature because it is nearly impossible and usually terribly painful to maintain behaviors that are contrary to one's nature over the course of a lifetime. Ugh. That probably doesn't explain it very well.

    I was not unreceptive with my INTP. I welcomed him. Everyone could tell we were both twitterpated. It was commented on. I think the word was 'sappy.'
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Similar Threads

  1. Hi everyone! INTP? INFJ? Rambling speech on my ego...
    By Antonio in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 03-03-2014, 02:26 PM
  2. Which type? (INTJ, INTP, INFJ, ?)
    By tsumatachi_san in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-18-2013, 09:28 PM
  3. INTJ/INTP/INFJ
    By WaitingToRapture in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-29-2010, 05:25 AM
  4. [MBTItm] INTP + INFJ in work relationship?
    By Isb in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-21-2008, 01:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO