My overall impression is it would be an awesome combo for a partnership, but not for a relationship.
Most of them don't respond well to compliments, and also don't seem to bother thanking people.
They reject any kind of emotional support/consolation in order to keep their badass image.
They seem to just bother when people are behaving in a way they don't like (aka bossing around).
Can work, but will require a good deal of emotional intelligence (from both parties).
Can't speak for other ENTJs but for myself, the less genuine, the less likely we'll want to interact. This includes social niceties or pretty much anything.
I'm left wondering though andante if the real reason is the difference between ENTJ and your own eNTj. A softer ENTJ wouldn't necessarily turn me off but a typical one would be virtually sure to.
This is possible, although I wouldn't describe myself as softer or soft and not from the need to protect a tough exterior. More from an attempt at being objectively self-critical.
But..I do have a soft spot for mature INTPs. As expressed minutes ago to another INTP in cyberspace about the INTP shadow for ENTJs, the attitudinal difference with our same dichotomies, as in TNSF, can help to round out our personality types. It's the conscious exploration of the unconscious mind.