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[NT] INTP + INTJ relationships, do they work?

Risen

Permabanned
Joined
Mar 19, 2008
Messages
3,185
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Well? Is this match up likely to work? I've heard that it doesn't, but I think it stems a lot from the immaturity of people who analyze the issue and love to make dualistic opposites between INTP's and INTJ's. I think the two are far more similar than many others. Add to that I probably flip between the two in my own personality. I'm a predominantly INTP guy talking to an INTJ girl. We get along magically, and I've never ever connected with someone on that level. We think alike, share the same beliefs, values, interests, sense of humor, etc. etc. One of the few people in this world I've ever felt free to open up to on just about anything and everything.

What do you think about the INTP/INTJ dynamic?
 

Mort Belfry

Rats off to ya!
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
1,238
MBTI Type
INTP
Though you'll often be on the same page, you'll want to be moving onto the Glossary while she wants to go back to Contents.
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
MBTI Type
Hype
Mort, are you talking about communication or sexual relations?
 

Haight

Doesn't Read Your Posts
Joined
Apr 18, 2007
Messages
6,232
MBTI Type
INTj
What do you think about the INTP/INTJ dynamic?
. . . It's close to being the best possible situation.

So, go for it!


And take her to Shakespeare and Company. Once there, treat her to a Guinness and a basket of fish and chips. You'll thank me later.
 

Royal Xavier

New member
Joined
May 4, 2008
Messages
67
MBTI Type
INXP
Sounds like a good match...you have lots in common, but you also complement each other.
 

cafe

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
9,827
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Well? Is this match up likely to work? I've heard that it doesn't, but I think it stems a lot from the immaturity of people who analyze the issue and love to make dualistic opposites between INTP's and INTJ's. I think the two are far more similar than many others. Add to that I probably flip between the two in my own personality. I'm a predominantly INTP guy talking to an INTJ girl. We get along magically, and I've never ever connected with someone on that level. We think alike, share the same beliefs, values, interests, sense of humor, etc. etc. One of the few people in this world I've ever felt free to open up to on just about anything and everything.

What do you think about the INTP/INTJ dynamic?
If the physical chemistry is there, it sounds like a great match. I lean toward thinking like matches are preferred over opposite matches, but both have their benefits. Make a conscious effort not to let her shoulder more than her fair share of the mundane responsibilities and I don't think you'll have too many problems.
 

Arachne

New member
Joined
Apr 11, 2008
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm an INTP female married to an INTJ male. There are a few constant points of conflict but on the whole it's a complementary match.
 

Wolf

only bites when provoked
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
2,127
MBTI Type
INTJ
We're nerdy enough to scare the parents, yet we communicate well, trust one-another, are comfortable, and don't need to be mushy in some foreign way to make the other happy.

We can also sit next to each-other on our laptops and it doesn't bother either of us one bit (like we are right now).

Pretty good, if you ask me.
 

Pyxi

New member
Joined
Oct 20, 2010
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5W6
I am INTJ. Have dated 3 INTP men in the last 5 months. It was always wonderful at the start, but then I realise they just don't understand certain aspects of a relationship, like how to get past limerence and how to pair-bond. Which has been a horrible experience. I feel they live somewhere in outer space. I think they mean well, but are just not grounded enough for me. I can be friends with INTPs, but a relationship? No. And the higher the numbers, the more air-headed and emotionally vacant they seem to me.
 

hilo

New member
Joined
Mar 8, 2010
Messages
186
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9 sx
I am INTJ. Have dated 3 INTP men in the last 5 months. It was always wonderful at the start, but then I realise they just don't understand certain aspects of a relationship, like how to get past limerence and how to pair-bond. Which has been a horrible experience. I feel they live somewhere in outer space. I think they mean well, but are just not grounded enough for me. I can be friends with INTPs, but a relationship? No. And the higher the numbers, the more air-headed and emotionally vacant they seem to me.

I was in a long-term relationship with an INTJ, and I can see some of the problems you've experienced. The INTJ was a bit more serious about everything, milestones, etc. than I could ever be. But it's a mistake to think an INTP (or any normal human being) is "emotionally vacant". If anything, it's the INTJ who has more difficulty being expressive.

The issue that killed us was mutual neglect. Having two people who deny they have emotional needs in a relationship can be a real challenge, especially if they are also not being open about other things (both can have a tendency to be secretive). But I don't think in general that the INTP/INTJ relationship is doomed. It's not the kind that explodes, but fades. Non-negligible chance of becoming "roommates" after years of marriage, etc.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I think it would be more of a God / Follower relationship, since INTPs usually say only and always about INTJs: "It's already worse for me as an intp but as an intj it must be doubly hard" or "I hope, when I am grown up, I can achieve the clarity to see things like an INTJ" :D

I tell you something, everyone is bribable dont let the INTJs make you their pet slaves, rather trust the ENTPs they gonna share things with you and will treat you like brothers, I promise *fingers crossed* ;)
 

Craft

Probably Most Brilliant
Joined
Jan 8, 2010
Messages
1,221
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
5w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
More into the functions, The differences between Ni and Ne makes it hard to communicate. Interpretation is priority to one whilst connection is important to another.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
This is a joke but at the same time, there's some truth to it. :devil:

COMPATIBILITY: INTPs make ideal companions to INTJs, as neither of them notices they're in a relationship.
 

Stevo

New member
Joined
Jun 16, 2010
Messages
406
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha. No.
 

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

Consulting Detective
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,450
MBTI Type
JiNe
Enneagram
5W4
I tell you something, everyone is bribable dont let the INTJs make you their pet slaves, rather trust the ENTPs they gonna share things with you and will treat you like brothers, I promise *fingers crossed* ;)

Why don't I trust this?
 

OrenIIshi

New member
Joined
Nov 7, 2010
Messages
7
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3
This is a joke but at the same time, there's some truth to it. :devil:

Hahahha, well...I'm an ENTJ and had to drop the news to my INTP darling. I told him: "Am I a closet girlfriend?, we see each other almost every night, we have dinner, work on some personal projects together, meet with my friends and they invite us to join them. We go to the Opera with your parents, we have dinner with your parents, I go to church with your sister....we take care of your grandma every now and then, we're making plans to visit my family for the holidays. We've been doing all this for almost 8 months: WE ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!! and you STILL HAVEN'T TOLD YOUR ROTARY CLUB FRIENDS YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE!!!!!??????" (hence I am not invited to the meetings/parties/dinners). His answer was: "Erhh..I am still not sure if I want to marry you", as if it takes that to publicly accept you are in a relationship ¿What does it take for an INTP to realize/accept and reconcile with the fact that he is in a relationship?
 
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