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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jack Flak View Post
    Oops. There's someone for everyone though, don't take it personally.
    Maybe she was just clashing over something you said?


  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    Maybe she was just clashing over something you said?
    Good point. Unless every SJ in my life has been pretending, they don't fully understand me. Everything I say means something to them other than what was intended. This is what I would call...Problematic.

  3. #83
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    Somehow I missed this thread the first time around.


  4. #84
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    I read an article recently that mentioned how an emotional affair was considered by some to be worse than a physical affair. I didn't really consider them to even be in the same ballpark. What even constitutes an emotional affair? Is it intent or would it also relate to flirting or sharing something personal with someone other than your SO?


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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    I read an article recently that mentioned how an emotional affair was considered by some to be worse than a physical affair. I didn't really consider them to even be in the same ballpark. What even constitutes an emotional affair? Is it intent or would it also relate to flirting or sharing something personal with someone other than your SO?
    Ever had a one night stand?

    Sex can be a physical thing, the betrayal will hurt. Emotional intimacy on the other hand is very personal. Developing that with someone else can cut deeper.

    Emotional affairs aren't flirting or sharing personal things. It's when the other relationship begins to threaten the primary one. When the other person becomes as or more important than the romantic partner. Sex at that point is a trivial detail.

  6. #86
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    I don't know if your definition fits? It would be a good sign of when you would know it yourself. But I think my wife would think of me being in an affair way before it started to threaten our relationship.

    So which is worse? I know this is analogous to "Which would you rather lose? An arm or a leg?". But if you had to rank them.


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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    I don't know if your definition fits? It would be a good sign of when you would know it yourself. But I think my wife would think of me being in an affair way before it started to threaten our relationship.

    So which is worse? I know this is analogous to "Which would you rather lose? An arm or a leg?". But if you had to rank them.
    She probably would cause she sees where it could end.

    In terms of cheating I'd rank them (going to worst):

    One night stand
    Purely physical affair
    Emotional affair
    Physical + Emotional affair

    Purely physical affairs are a rarity. You can't continue to fuck on a regular basis without emotions getting involved when there is deception involved. At least for one of the parties. Sexuality is a powerful thing.

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Any insight related to the above example or general viewpoints into the matter of married INTPs "searching elsewhere" is welcome. Afterthought - do you think INTPs can actively be in love with multiple people at the same time?
    Yes ... I used to be very bad in younger years. Cheated, played the field, caroused, whatevery you'd like to call it. I've been married three times. I don't cheat any more. Not sure if it is learning, wisdom, or I just became tired of it ... or perhaps I realized some of the pain and turmoil I caused and put an end to it. When I was younger, I did not see any legitimacy attached to relationships, marriage, etc. I've learned since then that it is a bit more complex. I'm not the only person involved in the equation and I have to take others into account as well.

  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post

    In terms of cheating I'd rank them (going to worst):

    One night stand
    Purely physical affair
    Emotional affair
    Physical + Emotional affair
    Wow. See, I would rank anything physical as worse than emotional. I don't know. It seems that in order to make it physical, a line has to be crossed. After someone made that kind of decision, I would have a hard time ever trusting them again. But an emotional affair doesn't have as clear cut of a line.

    Emotional
    One night stand
    Purely physical
    Physical + Emotional


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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    Wow. See, I would rank anything physical as worse than emotional. I don't know. It seems that in order to make it physical, a line has to be crossed. After someone made that kind of decision, I would have a hard time ever trusting them again. But an emotional affair doesn't have as clear cut of a line.
    I think I agree, if I understand everyone. Physical action would usually be the result of conscious intent, while getting led around by ones heart wouldn't be.

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