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  1. #41
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Would you say most INTPs then are/or end up with an ISFJ partner? This INTP is very goal driven, (but is not a J) - maybe he leads with an sp factor - stability and need to provide for his children (yes, he has those too) ... - maybe he is an sp/sx.

    I am starting to gain a real sense that men, no matter what their type, may periodically "test the waters." However, a lot of men to know when/how to curb down more *serious* flirting if they have no intentions to go farther - maybe I am wrong here - but I've been around the block a bit and could "have gone there" with some who were definitely putting it out there and I chose not to - for same said reasons.

    My take is that people who allow themselves to *fall* for something deeper than casual flirting and move it to the "next stage" are vulnerable themselves in some sense.
    INTP men want to marry stable woman. Basically the archetypal damsel-in-distress, does the household, strong moral fiber archetype. But I guess it's the same for quite a number of men.

    The difference here would be the reason for the INTP cheating, if he ever pulls off such act. It's less sexual in nature than the reason of men of other types. I'm theorizing "sense of growth" as the culprit, though I'm not sure if I speak for other INTPs. Definitely the urge for sex is not the primary motivation.

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    NO THEY DON'T!

    My ENTP used to sit across from me, turn his chair so his back was to the wall and give me dirty looks while I was trying to fix engines. Freak. (*fanning myself*)
    Yes, some of his looks sent *shock waves* through me, BUT then on other days he would just look at me longingly or sad or often just stare - and if I'd say something he would just *stare* w/ a much, much delayed response and it was like I dumbfounded him?? I think he is an emotional mess, if you ask me - but God, I still like him - I think probably more than like

    Yes, I guess I'll run, but not forget. I hate/love him. Guys - a bit of advice - don't lead people on like this - fun turns to love and then it's just cruel...

  3. #43
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Would you say most INTPs then are/or end up with an ISFJ partner?
    It's actually a very stable relationship... depending on the desires of the ISFJ. If she is willing to put up with the distance and typical lack of emotional reciprocation and operate in typical "maintain things / be dutiful" mode, the relationship will steadily plug on. After all, he is basically getting what he wants -- a spouse who is very geared towards keeping the household stable, raising the kids, taking care of minutia and life details (bill paying, etc.)

    (If she was an ESFJ, the E would lead her to pry into the INTPs space and business; the ISFJ will usually, if upset about the way of things, sulk or react in a passive-aggressive way, not making nearly as many overt waves.)

    I don't know if it's as good for the ISFJ as for the INTP, though.

    EDIT: Note that ISFJ/INTP is an interesting dynamic. They share all their main functions and are sort of the "doubles" of the other.

    INTP = Ti + Ne + Si + Fe
    ISFJ = Si + Fe + Ti + Ne

    See? They each sort of "complete" the other and can help each other mature their 3rd and 4th functions. if they survive.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #44
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Yes, some of his looks sent *shock waves* through me, BUT then on other days he would just look at me longingly or sad or often just stare - and if I'd say something he would just *stare* w/ a much, much delayed response and it was like I dumbfounded him?? I think he is an emotional mess, if you ask me - but God, I still like him - I think probably more than like
    I know. I know. It's like turning down a hot fudge sundae. For someone like me who's incredibly picky, that "sundae" feeling doesn't happen often, so believe me, I get what you're saying in Technicolor.

    But listen to me - the dude is MARRIED. He walked down an aisle with ONE WOMAN and made a promise before God and family to be there for HER, not you. He's an emotional minefield. I guarantee it would be molten lava for a little while, then the guilt would catch up and ruin everything. Temptation is a part of life. It proves you're still animal, still alive. But don't give it any power. Just think about the trusting soul he has at home (whether she's a bitch or a saint is irrelevant) and let that throw water on the fire. Or just avoid him and reward yourself with something else - ANYTHING AT ALL!- until you can be rational. I mean shoes! I mean FOOD. I mean dressing trashy and going out with girlfriends. I mean blowing dandelions into a neighbors yard. ANYTHING.


    Yes, I guess I'll run, but not forget. I hate/love him. Guys - a bit of advice - don't lead people on like this - fun turns to love and then it's just cruel...
    Listen to this woman, please! She's right.
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  5. #45
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    The difference here would be the reason for the INTP cheating, if he ever pulls off such act. It's less sexual in nature than the reason of men of other types. I'm theorizing "sense of growth" as the culprit, though I'm not sure if I speak for other INTPs. Definitely the urge for sex is not the primary motivation.
    I think the "sense of growth" is a likely motivating factor--the challenge and understanding a new experience brings. If the INTP engages more T and less *ahem* "Pness," the desire for challenge and understanding can be directed at a healthy friendship instead of a detrimental-to-all physical relationship.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cypocalypse View Post
    INTP men want to marry stable woman. Basically the archetypal damsel-in-distress, does the household, strong moral fiber archetype. But I guess it's the same for quite a number of men.

    The difference here would be the reason for the INTP cheating, if he ever pulls off such act. It's less sexual in nature than the reason of men of other types. I'm theorizing "sense of growth" as the culprit, though I'm not sure if I speak for other INTPs. Definitely the urge for sex is not the primary motivation.
    Isn't the Damsel in Distress archetype a bit "needy" - maybe not always so stable? (Sorry, saw your post after-the-fact Jennifer - Are INFP just a disaster waiting to happen then with an INTP - even a mature INFP?)

    I sensed it wasn't just about the sexual pull - we met each other first on a mental/work level. What exactly do you mean "sense of growth"? Someone who believes in you and pushes you forward or is there emotionally - Is seems there is this push/pull between stability and predictability in a mate, and then a sense of longing for a soulmate perhaps?
    Last edited by treeleaning; 05-21-2008 at 12:56 PM. Reason: ..

  7. #47
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Is seems there is this push/pull between stability and predictability in a mate, and then a sense of longing for a soulmate perhaps?

    Don't even get me and Philo started on THAT. :-\
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  8. #48
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Isn't the Damsel in Distress archetype a bit "needy" - maybe not always so stable? (Sorry, saw your post after-the-fact Jennifer - Are INFP just a disaster waiting to happen then with an INTP - even a mature INFP?)
    np...

    I'm not sure about INFP/INTP pairings. They tend to be very decent friends because they operate similarly externally (they love to bounce Ne ideas off each other -- the NF offers sympathy and gives emotional affirmation, the NT is forthright and blunt and offers clarity)... but the Ti can clash with the Fi badly depending on the situation and specific beliefs.

    INTPs unfortunately aren't continual "white knights," because of their desire for personal space and individual autonomy. When the situation demands it and they perceive a problem, they can leap in and save the day... again, IF they think it's important enough. Good at resolving catastrophes, bad at little daily things.

    They're more apt to look at a damsel in distress, if she's in a long-term distress, and say, "Well, can't you save yourself?" Just not very good originally at maintenance activities...

    ISFJ women, on the other hand, excel at maintenance but feel slighted if nothing is ever really returned.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #49
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I know. I know. It's like turning down a hot fudge sundae. For someone like me who's incredibly picky, that "sundae" feeling doesn't happen often, so believe me, I get what you're saying in Technicolor.

    But listen to me - the dude is MARRIED. He walked down an aisle with ONE WOMAN and made a promise before God and family to be there for HER, not you. He's an emotional minefield. I guarantee it would be molten lava for a little while, then the guilt would catch up and ruin everything. Temptation is a part of life. It proves you're still animal, still alive. But don't give it any power. Just think about the trusting soul he has at home (whether she's a bitch or a saint is irrelevant) and let that throw water on the fire. Or just avoid him and reward yourself with something else - ANYTHING AT ALL!- until you can be rational. I mean shoes! I mean FOOD. I mean dressing trashy and going out with girlfriends. I mean blowing dandelions into a neighbors yard. ANYTHING.
    Listen to the woman here. I agree that extramarital affairs are emotional minefields. There is some difference whether she is a bitch or a saint in regards to the guilt factor imo. The problem is that if he is with her presently, it means he is in some way attached to her. This could be financial or social obligations, or an emotional dependency. Even really twisted marriages can be held together by iron bonds of emotional dependency. Unless a decision has been made to end the marriage, until that relationship has resolved itself, getting involved with such a man will likely result in him maintaining his bonds to that woman. If she is a saint, then you and he break her tender, innocent heart. If she is a bitch, then her sick hold on him will now extend to you. More likely it is something inbetween, but simply put, it is unlikely he is emotionally available until he makes a choice of his own accord to leave her.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
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    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  10. #50
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Isn't the Damsel in Distress archetype a bit "needy" - maybe not always so stable? (Sorry, saw your post after-the-fact Jennifer - Are INFP just a disaster waiting to happen then with an INTP - even a mature INFP?)

    I sensed it wasn't just about the sexual pull - we met each other first on a mental/work level. What exactly do you mean "sense of growth"? Someone who believes in you and pushes you forward or is there emotionally - Is seems there is this push/pull between stability and predictability in a mate, and then a sense of longing for a soulmate perhaps?
    Definitely not the "needy" aspect of the damsel in distress type. I'm thinking more of an introverted woman who has a sense of independence. Independent enough for self sufficiency but not extraverted enough to ruin the harmony of the relationship.

    ______________

    Anyway, I think I have a sort of a FETISH for healthy INFPs. My ISFJ girlfriend , not to demean her in any way, doesn't have the intellectual competence to analyze or read through me as much as I am self-critical. She's just to busy in her personal life (work, etc.)

    On the other hand, a really intuitive INFP woman (an example would be an INFP acquiantance of mine), who hardly knows me but knows exactly where my point of view is coming (must be her Ne in the works). And she always have an F to show the opposite side to my T. And when I think about it, I would just say to myself....."how the heck can she know me just like that"? O_O

    ______________

    Anyway, speaking of growth, it's about enlightenment -- an INTP's ultimate journey. An INTP always needs intellectual stimulation.

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