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  1. #11
    heart on fire
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    Break for serious question here: Do INTP become workaholics?

  2. #12
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    Ok - maybe not workaholic , but avoidance... being at the office on the weekend e.g. Maybe not working but not at home.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Break for serious question here: Do INTP become workaholics?
    Just lurking here but to keep the conversation going....

    Yes. I will get lost in thought all the time at the office (but not always with work stuff ) and end up coming home late.


  4. #14
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    BryNT - love the jack handy quote Right. Spacing out on the computer... People ask, "So did you get a lot of work done"? I think, "Um..a lot of "mind processing" work.

    Any input to the other question?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    Ok - maybe not workaholic , but avoidance... being at the office on the weekend e.g. Maybe not working but not at home.
    If it isn't required by the job, then that tells a lot. I cannot picture a NP being excited by the prospect of spending all day Sat working, when they could spend it elsewhere Ne-ing. I just cannot.

  6. #16
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    Well, I won't say he is a jerk but it is still not anything you would want to get involved in. He knows it and I am sure you do too. I can't say that cheating or emotional affairs would be isolated to or not possible with any particular personality type.


  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post


    It is very very hard for passive people (and I think INTP men, because they live a lot in their heads, can be externally passive and relationally/emotionally inept) to take the risk and change their lives. They would rather flex as much as possible, so as to not hurt others and ALSO to avoid risk/change/damage, and instead hope the situation resolves positively on its own.

    Some people never get past that. Eventually he will get so miserable either he will end things or he will choose to work on the relationship and be happy there. Meanwhile, he's going to be in this limbo, where he's unhappy but unwilling to make changes in either direction. I would stay away.
    My understanding is that when an INTP decides a relationship is over it is definitely over, period, with very few exceptions. So I guess this is also a part of the passitivity - the limbo, as you say, of not wanting to make the hard decisions. // I guess this indecisive state would thus push you farther into your head, work and thinking and away from your relationship - and ultimately be a state of depression - unless you can learn to really detach.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by heart View Post
    Break for serious question here: Do INTP become workaholics?
    If we find something we either love to do or can get lost in our own heads while doing it, then most definitely yes.

    Back to OP, I can't say anything for certain but I would mention that my demeanor changes around women I am "comfortable" with but still don't want a romantic relation w/them. Also, I'll be more energetic and responsive, even more outgoing by those I appreciate, which has been mistaken as me having a romantic interest when that wasn't the case. Also, the open mouth staring thing...that can happen in front of beer cooler at 7-11. Not to say that he may very well want to do you but most INTP males are horrible at flirting and wouldn't want to communicate w/women that way. If he gets all emo w/u and offers to show you his miniture civil war collection after a wine tasting expo, you know, something totally planned out, then I'd send up the red flag.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    What I have read about INTPs is that they are not prone to affairs. However, I met one who flirted heavily with me, would gappingly, almost open-mouth *stare* at me, get nervous around me, and even sent me shocking FU eyes. I was intrigued... flirted back only to find out this guy is married. I think he is a 5w4. Is this typical?

    I have read that men sometimes are just looking for an ego boost through flirting. This was not just lite "play flirting", but a bit more intense, and I think he ended up falling for me a bit. Is this just a male thing --- do INTPs just go around seeking attention from women like this?

    Any insight related to the above example or general viewpoints into the matter of married INTPs "searching elsewhere" is welcome. Afterthought - do you think INTPs can actively be in love with multiple people at the same time?


    As a single INTP, I can tell you that I've flirted before with no real intentions of anything more than that happening.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by treeleaning View Post
    My understanding is that when an INTP decides a relationship is over it is definitely over, period, with very few exceptions.
    That definitely happens before marriage. Once they're done, they just drift away... and shove you away if you force yourself back in.

    But after marriage? Now they're stuck.

    So I guess this is also a part of the passitivity - the limbo, as you say, of not wanting to make the hard decisions.
    Yes, that's just it. Ending a marriage is a lot different than breaking up with a date. Especially with the intensity of emotion involved (which they hate) as well as the prolonged energy expenditure and fighting and negotiating over every little thing.... and then having the kids involved.

    // I guess this indecisive state would thus push you farther into your head, work and thinking and away from your relationship - and ultimately be a state of depression - unless you can learn to really detach.
    I think the depression is the "easiest solution" ... far easier than navigating a divorce. I see them pouring themselves into their hobbies/work to avoid the bad relationship. Unless somehow the spouse can be indirectly driven to instigate the divorce and thus take charge of making it happen.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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