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Thread: NTs and Drama

  1. #11
    Magical Firelie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aerithria View Post
    Well, in reality there's two different issues going on. The first is the current situation (or the latest argument I guess), and the second is the reason why we get into these arguments in the first place. I was originally commenting on the first - because she's now decided that my desire for independence is actually my telling her that I don't trust her and therefore don't value our friendship - but I'm assuming that you're referring more to the second.

    She has the habit of getting emotionally invested in situations and can't really keep a clear head about it, and so she'll usually run a situation by me to get a different opinion on it. Normally I'll look at a situation objectively and attempt to give advice based on that, but when I do that it means to her that I'm not on her side in the situation. If I attempt to explain that I'm merely looking at the situation from a step back from where she is, she claims that I'm making excuses. I understand the need to vent, and I'll let her without interfering if that's the issue, but when it comes to giving an opinion I have a hard time not giving it. I realize it may not be what she wants to hear, but it's usually what she needs to hear.

    As for what I've done to change things, I've asked her if she'd rather me blindly agree with her in these situations, but she keeps saying that she asks for my opinion because she wants it. So now I'm at a standstill. Either I continue giving my opinion, which she'll pick out a word or two from whatever I say and extrapolate meaning from that to justify what I "truly feel" about her and the situation, or I refuse and she gets angry that I'm doing nothing to help her, which she'll take to mean that she was right all along about me being too emotionless to care about her. Go figure.

    Hm, I apparently have been rambling. I apologize. Hopefully it answers your question.
    She sounds incredibly annoying. Maybe you should stop letting her involve you, since it doesn't seem to go well when you do. It's been my experience that drama-mongers who ask for my advice generally want a pat on the back and to be told that they're in the right, no matter what they may say to the contrary.
    If you really have to be friends with this person, perhaps you should tell her what she wants to hear...with a teensy tiny bit of sound advice mixed in.

    Why is there no eye-roll smiley??

  2. #12
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    Oh, Aerithria! I was just annoyed at my probably ISFJ friend because of his being emotional. It's nice to have someone like you around who obviously understands my perspective.

    I just had to apologize for telling him too harshly to stop demeaning himself (!)

    poor put-upon INTJ.

  3. #13
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    making Everest out of random lumps of sand



    nice

  4. #14
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aerithria View Post
    As for what I've done to change things, I've asked her if she'd rather me blindly agree with her in these situations, but she keeps saying that she asks for my opinion because she wants it. So now I'm at a standstill. Either I continue giving my opinion, which she'll pick out a word or two from whatever I say and extrapolate meaning from that to justify what I "truly feel" about her and the situation, or I refuse and she gets angry that I'm doing nothing to help her, which she'll take to mean that she was right all along about me being too emotionless to care about her. Go figure.
    Hmm... she could just be stressed. Perhaps she wants you to give your honest opinion, and then take the brunt of her emotional reaction to it (and possibly even comfort and reassure her that the negatives she's seeing in it aren't real, because she's not clear on what's true and what isn't) until she calms down and sees that you made sense. I've often ended up expecting people to do that for me... more than I realized.

    But seriously, that's really what you need to do with more sensitive people sometimes. Just tell them the truth, and then try to comfort them while they're attacking you until they run out of hurt. I admit it's kind of screwed up, but I think everyone is screwed up in their own way.

  5. #15
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I think drama is in the eye of the beholder.

    What is important to one seems less important to another. Sometimes this is due to a difference in priorities and perspective, other times it's due to EITHER person not really having a true sense of how the other is impacted (or not) by the situation.

    People also get dramatic about different sorts of occurrences. A concrete person will tend to focus on the tangible, those are the "resonating" factors. An abstract person can confuse a concrete because they will sometimes react to something that doesn't look connected to them but is actually heavily linked through implication and possibility.

    There's also people who take things at face value vs those who see an event as representative of something much larger (i.e., "the human condition") or whatever you'd care to call it.

    Some people also will use drama as a way to influence and motivate others, by making those connections for them; others are seemingly immune to it.

    So I have trouble confining it to a T/F thing, although I think T and F influences do tend to contribute. T's tend to be more immune than F's; and N's and S's tend to get dramatic about different things. An interesting thing to consider: Drama comes into play the more that one instinctively creates a "personal narrative" for their lives. T's tend to deconstruct, which means they find it easier to see the individual pieces rather than viewing it as some collective whole -- and the latter I think is what enables people to add "drama."

    As far as your friend goes? If she's an ISFJ, you can expect her to (1) resonate to the emotional implications of situations and (2) view the situation as it concretely relates to HER (this is the "subjective I" that introverts commonly cater to). This is accentuated and/or distorted especially if someone has self-esteem issues, where the self-absorption kicks in.
    I liked this. Please expand all ideas further. (Seriously.)
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  6. #16
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    More Drama Baby ! Here is my grea great idol: xDD

    YouTube - Drama high heels bruce darnell

    That guy is even louder with his drama than my metal song from winamp in the background xDDD
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  7. #17
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    Uh, wow. All right, I'm going to make an attempt to reply to everything individually.

    @Haphazard: I get the same way after arguments, usually. And as much as I hate insincerity, I might actually take your advice. She'd go for it, at any rate.

    @MetalWounds: Heh, yeah, though I did differentiate between drama and needless drama. Or 'melodrama' works as well, I suppose. Though I do recognize your instincts for conflict in myself occasionally, so I understand where you're coming from.

    @Xander: First of all, that smiley amuses the crap out of me. I don't usually get offended, but I do get sucked in, which I'm assuming is part of the issue. I agree, however, unnecessary responsability doesn't have to be treated as such. I'll have to remember that.

    @Firelie: She is, though my concern is that if she doesn't involve me, her other friends are more likely to agree with her just to shut her up and not give any advice at all, and while I do get annoyed with her antics, I'd basically be screwing her over on occasion. And I don't necessarily have to be friends with her, but we've been friends for a fair amount of time now and it seems wasteful at this point to stop.

    @nanashi: Heh, I'm not the only one, eh? I'd say it's suprising that you had to apologize for that, but I've had to do the same in the past so I unfortunately can't.

    @Athenian200: Hm, I've never considered it from that perspective. Though I agree, it is slightly messed up, which means it's probably what's going to work. I'll give it a shot.

    All right, I believe I've replied to everybody. If not, wave a flag in front of my face or something. I hate having to reply en masse, but whatever. Thanks for the advice.

  8. #18
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    *taking flag and waving hardly*
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #19
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I think drama comes into play, when the NT is unable to convince his partner in arguement logically. There are 2 solutions to that kind of problem. The first and tough boring one is this more spectacular, because it says that the partner tries to follow logically *surpsrise* xD.

    The second one and the more important one, is that the NT gives room, for his partner in arguement to think about it. Orto feel about it. Or to sense about it, in the meaning of comparing theory to the real world. Or to not think about it, what sounds irrational at first, but can in the end result into an indifferent start of things. For whom the saying "The Beginning is half the work" makes sense, for whom wisdom is granted.

    Drama in NT's is special.

    When an iNTj starts to drama, you are about to be babtalized, you are the one who is granted to finally have a little bit of insight into a genious self, who is at this point ( when this point is ever reached) calling for just a little, a very little, yes.

    When an eNTj is dramatazing, I guess I dont know what happens then. I dont know nothing about eNTj's and I promised to read that long analysis posted in this forum. After that I maybe can say something about that. I think eNTj's are the drama queens. Intuitively spoken.

    If an iNTp dramatizes there is actually something to drama about. I think. iNTp's are facetteful. I just can't pinpoint out what an overall problem could be. I think iNTp dramatize, just for the feeling of dramatizing. And I can say so because I like iNTp very much, I love em, I have a pillow saying iNTp "4 ever and ever" and because of the following sentence:

    eNTp on the other hand love drama. There is no possibility in any world that eNTp can live without drama ! And iNTp are the only who understand !



    And here for the masses:

    ENTP LOVE DRAMA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE DRAMA BABY !!!!!!!!!!

    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #20
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    One last thing, and I do (not) promise to be quiet xD

    the DRAMA song:

    YouTube - VNV Nation - Illusion

    That song is, how do you say it in english...
    ...eerie
    ....
    ultimatively eerie -.-
    ...
    I think that song, is worth its own special thread
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

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