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  1. #1
    A_priori
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    Default INTJs, what makes you feel insecure?

    I know two INTJs through work and I have to say they both display a tremendous amount of confidence and security. There are so many good qualities I see INTJs and actually find the older I get the better I gel with them. I find I'm almost a bit jelious of some of the qualities they posses and was wondering, just out of curiosity what makes you guys feel insecure?

    Cheers

  2. #2
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    I have this terrible assumption that everyone else is trying as hard as I am to be accurate and fair and take all perspectives into account, which not everyone cares to do. Some people simply care to remain comfortable. So when someone critiques me, I assume they've gone through the dozens of chains of thinking, when not everyone has. I end up putting too much weight into their perspective, and its dissonance with my own perspective (compiled from the dozens of people who have genuinely taken the time to speak truth into my life) makes me lose confidence in myself.

    Though maybe this is not an INTJ thing so much as a thoughtful and caring person thing.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #3
    A_priori
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I have this terrible assumption that everyone else is trying as hard as I am to be accurate and fair and take all perspectives into account, which not everyone cares to do. Some people simply care to remain comfortable. So when someone critiques me, I assume they've gone through the dozens of chains of thinking, when not everyone has. I end up putting too much weight into their perspective, and its dissonance with my own perspective (compiled from the dozens of people who have genuinely taken the time to speak truth into my life) makes me lose confidence in myself.

    Though maybe this is not an INTJ thing so much as a thoughtful and caring person thing.
    Wow, intresting response.. Very insightful indeed!!

  4. #4
    Senior Member Owlesque's Avatar
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    When hyper-sociability, ass-kissing, and general lack of substance are rewarded or acknowledged over quiet diligence, efficiency, and actual results. On the flip side, this also indicates to me that my superior is incompetent and I can best target my efforts elsewhere...

    Relationships in general often have me feeling insecure, but that may be a reflection of my inexperience as much as my type.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I have this terrible assumption that everyone else is trying as hard as I am to be accurate and fair and take all perspectives into account, which not everyone cares to do. Some people simply care to remain comfortable. So when someone critiques me, I assume they've gone through the dozens of chains of thinking, when not everyone has. I end up putting too much weight into their perspective, and its dissonance with my own perspective (compiled from the dozens of people who have genuinely taken the time to speak truth into my life) makes me lose confidence in myself.

    Though maybe this is not an INTJ thing so much as a thoughtful and caring person thing.
    I think it is an INTJ thing. I agree with you somewhat but I don't give people anywhere near that much credit anymore. That is likely age/life experience more than how I actually feel. When questioned, I usually say - this is the data I have accumulated and it shows me that people generally do what is easiest, not necessarily what is right and what is fair. It's a refreshing change to see it and automatically ups the respect I have for that rare person. My relationship choices were the one thing that made me most insecure but even that has decreased quite a bit.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I have this terrible assumption that everyone else is trying as hard as I am to be accurate and fair and take all perspectives into account, which not everyone cares to do. Some people simply care to remain comfortable. So when someone critiques me, I assume they've gone through the dozens of chains of thinking, when not everyone has. I end up putting too much weight into their perspective, and its dissonance with my own perspective (compiled from the dozens of people who have genuinely taken the time to speak truth into my life) makes me lose confidence in myself.

    Though maybe this is not an INTJ thing so much as a thoughtful and caring person thing.
    This.

    Quote Originally Posted by Owlesque View Post
    When hyper-sociability, ass-kissing, and general lack of substance are rewarded or acknowledged over quiet diligence, efficiency, and actual results. On the flip side, this also indicates to me that my superior is incompetent and I can best target my efforts elsewhere...

    Relationships in general often have me feeling insecure, but that may be a reflection of my inexperience as much as my type.
    And this.

  7. #7
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Fear of failing in something you set your eyes on/got ambitious about? Is there a sense of insecurity there if things start to cut close on the border of success and failure for you INTJs?
    Kantgirl: Just say "I'm feminine and I'll punch anyone who says otherwise!"
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  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Owlesque View Post
    When hyper-sociability, ass-kissing, and general lack of substance are rewarded or acknowledged over quiet diligence, efficiency, and actual results.
    This.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  9. #9
    Junior Member dobages's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    Fear of failing in something you set your eyes on/got ambitious about? Is there a sense of insecurity there if things start to cut close on the border of success and failure for you INTJs?
    Right on the money.(Atleast for me)

  10. #10
    WhoCares
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    The constant and pervasive belief that I am unlovable. So every little nuance of behaviour in others that confirms my belief makes me lose faith in humanity. I live in a hostile world in which I have no useful place.

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