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  1. #11
    Senior Member Circle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Creating distance isn't a problem for me and I don't mind taking on his workload either for a time. I would lie if this doesn't somewhat stress me out, but still only a little. I can handle him and take on his workload whenever needed without feeling stressed about it, that's not the issue. But I do have to trust him to do his job proper when he does work. And right now, he just isn't reliable. And the solution seems so simple to me. Force yourself to eat some breakfast, do a little bit of sports, eat some fruit and sleep 6 hours a day consistently and get out of bed in time And stop swallowing ibuprofen like they're m&m's.. If he would do just that, I bet it would probably solve the whole issue. It seems just sad that it has to break on something so stupid.

    But I am at a loss on how to convince him of this. As I said, I've said it and others as well, plenty of times to his face. all of these points. But he knows 'better'.
    It is difficult to convince anyone of anything. The business part is easy. Agree on a course with the other partners (or just your father). If your brother fails to keep up his end, let him go. There's nothing that says you can't welcome him back if things change.

  2. #12
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    It is difficult to convince anyone of anything.
    Agreed, but in my experience, this should not be something that would need convincing. He is smart enough to realize this for himself, but for some reason he just closes himself off from that realization.

    Oh well, if anything, at least I got to vent my frustrations here for the day. For now we'll have to wait for results from hospital anyway, he has to get an echo made on monday and prolly finds out what his physical illness is. Which I'm suspecting is nothing but a construct of the mind, but until proven otherwise I will give him the benefit of the doubt.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Agreed, but in my experience, this should not be something that would need convincing. He is smart enough to realize this for himself, but for some reason he just closes himself off from that realization.

    Oh well, if anything, at least I got to vent my frustrations here for the day. For now we'll have to wait for results from hospital anyway, he has to get an echo made on monday and prolly finds out what his physical illness is. Which I'm suspecting is nothing but a construct of the mind, but until proven otherwise I will give him the benefit of the doubt.
    Hang in there. I hope everything works out well for you.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Circle View Post
    That makes me want to hug you, my friend.

    It's not that I want to die.

    It's that I understand where he is coming from.


    Like you've said, Fluffywolf, he knows better. How can you teach a man any more about what he already knows?

  5. #15
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    It's not that I want to die.

    It's that I understand where he is coming from.


    Like you've said, Fluffywolf, he knows better. How can you teach a man any more about what he already knows?
    He can be, or at least act, more responsible for one. Instead its like he just admits defeat. That's a no-no in my book. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    He can be, or at least act, more responsible for one. Instead its like he just admits defeat. That's a no-no in my book. :P

    It's easier that way =P

  7. #17
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontherobot View Post
    It's easier that way =P
    Well, he wouldn't be ENTP if he didn't always choose the easy way out of things. He's remarkably good at that too. But being in his position, it comes with certain minimal requirements (which quite frankly, we've been very generous with to him). Most of the time, he barely meets that set of requirements, and lately have had instances where he lacked.

    I completely understand picking the easy way out, but there's a point where being too easy, becomes insurmountably hard. If he does his job and fixes his health, his life would be much easier than it is now.

    Sometimes you make small sacrifices to gain a lot. He's not making those small sacrifices and misses out. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Well, he wouldn't be ENTP if he didn't always choose the easy way out of things. He's remarkably good at that too. But being in his position, it comes with certain minimal requirements (which quite frankly, we've been very generous with to him). Most of the time, he barely meets that set of requirements, and lately have had instances where he lacked.

    I completely understand picking the easy way out, but there's a point where being too easy, becomes insurmountably hard. If he does his job and fixes his health, his life would be much easier than it is now.

    Sometimes you make small sacrifices to gain a lot. He's not making those small sacrifices and misses out. :P

    I mean... would it though? He probably doesn't think so.

    He probably thinks that whatever he's doing, whatever the condition, whatever the situation, he'll be okay and life will go on peachy enough.



    But yeah, if people are relying on him for stuff, shame on him.

  9. #19
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    First off all I dont get the problem, What is he doing to you? Right now you seem like a lot of (ESXJ) colleges of mine telling me what I should eat, how often I should train, that i shouldent smoke cannabis, so on and so on.

    Sure they might be right that fast food isen't the best, and that training 2 times a week isen't enough. However its none of their business. I never complain about them working slowly, or not being helpful, always complaining to me about other colleges, not being able to see the obvius solutions me having to explain every single detail to them. All of witch makes me have to work that much harder.

    So I would hate it if you where giving pointers on my life, and if your ENTP brother is anything like me he probably hates it to.

    What should be done is showing that you come from a loving place and that you're there for him and maybe ask him if he needs help. From your description he seems like me when im depressed witch happens from time to time when I get stuck in places, at first its hard to recognize (atleast for me) but after a while I realize it and plan my escape and get my vigor back.

    ENTPs need someone positive that entertain their ideas, they hate being controlled. For me it shuts down my Ne and makes life dull and uninteresting where I plunge and have no energy. To escape this i usually change my environment to one where I get positivity and can entertain my ideas, luckily i have an ENTJ mother, an ENTJ father and an ENTP brother and an ENTP sister, aswell as an ESFJ brother whom is one of the few ESFJs that actually gets me and is able to support me in a positive way at the same time as he challenges me. Other then that i have some INFP, INTP and ENTJ friends. all of these people I've realized enhances my energy in a way i cannot do by myself. And most people out there are actually a buzzkill to me.

    Ask hom general questions without judgement, what he wants from life, where he think he is, ehere he wants to go. Maybe hes seriosly depressed i dont know but people entertaining my future plans, projects and ideas gets me right back on track, people attacking me i just shut down or counterattack leaving me drained.

    Peace!

  10. #20
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Myrtle View Post
    First off all I dont get the problem, What is he doing to you? Right now you seem like a lot of (ESXJ) colleges of mine telling me what I should eat, how often I should train, that i shouldent smoke cannabis, so on and so on.

    Sure they might be right that fast food isen't the best, and that training 2 times a week isen't enough. However its none of their business. I never complain about them working slowly, or not being helpful, always complaining to me about other colleges, not being able to see the obvius solutions me having to explain every single detail to them. All of witch makes me have to work that much harder.

    So I would hate it if you where giving pointers on my life, and if your ENTP brother is anything like me he probably hates it to.

    What should be done is showing that you come from a loving place and that you're there for him and maybe ask him if he needs help. From your description he seems like me when im depressed witch happens from time to time when I get stuck in places, at first its hard to recognize (atleast for me) but after a while I realize it and plan my escape and get my vigor back.

    ENTPs need someone positive that entertain their ideas, they hate being controlled. For me it shuts down my Ne and makes life dull and uninteresting where I plunge and have no energy. To escape this i usually change my environment to one where I get positivity and can entertain my ideas, luckily i have an ENTJ mother, an ENTJ father and an ENTP brother and an ENTP sister, aswell as an ESFJ brother whom is one of the few ESFJs that actually gets me and is able to support me in a positive way at the same time as he challenges me. Other then that i have some INFP, INTP and ENTJ friends. all of these people I've realized enhances my energy in a way i cannot do by myself. And most people out there are actually a buzzkill to me.

    Ask hom general questions without judgement, what he wants from life, where he think he is, ehere he wants to go. Maybe hes seriosly depressed i dont know but people entertaining my future plans, projects and ideas gets me right back on track, people attacking me i just shut down or counterattack leaving me drained.

    Peace!
    His health is declining, he calls in sick more often, he slacks at his job when he is in, he's failing at life in general. And at the same time he holds quite some company stock as well as a seperative branch of the family company. I wouldn't care if he was a toilet cleaner. But on a professional level, he holds a lot of my interests, and if he endgangers that, it's a huge problem. I don't care if he messes up his own shit and has to live on the streets, but if he messes up his shit and I have to live on the streets too, heads or going to roll.

    Anyhow, little update, he's spent the entire day in the hospital with my mother (lol, can't go alone) and they've done extensive testing, couldn't find anything, tomorrow they'll do some more tests, but it looks like he has no serious condition.

    Which makes it pretty clear that his physical symptoms or probably indeed purely from stress, and if that's true then he either gets his shit together within the next month or major changes will ensue.

    What should be done is showing that you come from a loving place and that you're there for him and maybe ask him if he needs help. From your description he seems like me when im depressed witch happens from time to time when I get stuck in places, at first its hard to recognize (atleast for me) but after a while I realize it and plan my escape and get my vigor back.
    Also, I know he is stressed out and depressed, but every attempt to normally communicate with him about it is immidiatly shot down and shrugged off, and has been for years now. Now that the decline is finally becoming an issue, he still would not listen to reason. Unfortunately, I can't give him more time. I don't care if he takes a long vacation, or just dissappears alltogether, as long as he does not mess up the business.

    This is actually the second time I'm posting about my brother now, after last time things were better for a while, but don't think that will happen this time. He's being dragged around by my mom (who is convinced his symptoms are real) like a 4 year old kid that doesn't want to go. It's just degrading and I can't believe an ENTP would let it go so far.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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