• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTP] INTP and Fear of Rejection

R

RDF

Guest
Where self-confidence issues are due to a deficit related specifically to the Fe or Te inferior functions, I think it's relatively easy to prioritize self-development and develop greater confidence.

Deficits in Fe and Te skills tend to be pretty obvious and really hold one back in life. But on the positive side, there are lots of resources for learning and practicing those skills: Books on organizational skills for Te and books and forums to help with social skills for Fe. By comparision, it would probably be much tougher to identify resources for the other inferior functions and work on them.
 

zelo1954

ISFJophile
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
218
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp
Just a few not necessarily connected points about my own experiences and my thoughts:

1. I had a huge fear of rejection when I was younger - so much so that it was ages before I was able to try a relationship. As I've got used to women over these many years that fear, whilst it hasn't left me totally, is much less debilitating.

2. The hardest thing in the world is being rejected by a woman who then wipes you off the planet as if you no longer exist. Then you get told to "move on" with absolutely zero sympathy. Yet someone who loses a partner through death has the sympathy of everyone. The first situation is the same to the rejected person - i.e. the person becomes dead to them. In fact it might even be worse since the person is still alive and still has the potential to reverse the status quo. Modern "selfist psychology" has a lot to answer for. I despise it with a passion.

3. There can be a bit of a crisis when you let the other person into your inner sanctum (i.e. let her see your Ti). You suddenly change from an outwardly easy-going Ne second best to this passionately intense monster which can scare the pants off your partner (perhaps an unfortunate metaphor that one). You may well find that your partner prefers the 2nd best after all.

4. Whilst an underdeveloped Te or Fe certainly can hold you back in life, I have coped with this by simply not valuing it. My rationale is that who wants to continually be manipulating others with Fe - or bombarding them with a Te which EXPECTS the receiver to bow down to prestige? No thanks. If that's what Te and Fe gives me I'd rather not have it thank you.
 
Top