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  1. #11
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    @greenfairy
    How old are you? I ask because that's very common among young INTs.

    Fwiw, here's my suggested guide:
    First, abandon all hope.
    Only then you'll be able not to get attached to these outcomes, and finally get comfortable with being yourself.
    From that point, things are gonna be much simpler. You'll realize that you can't and shouldn't try to control how other people are gonna react, and that a fair dose of uncertainty is the element that makes life an interesting experience.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  2. #12
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    @greenfairy
    How old are you? I ask because that's very common among young INTs.

    Fwiw, here's my suggested guide:
    First, abandon all hope.
    Only then you'll be able not to get attached to these outcomes, and finally get comfortable with being yourself.
    From that point, things are gonna be much simpler. You'll realize that you can't and shouldn't try to control how other people are gonna react, and that a fair dose of uncertainty is the element that makes life an interesting experience.
    Not that young, 27. I don't want to abandon all hope, but I have learned a few years ago to release expectations. I live life unattached to outcomes. I still like my relationships though, and don't want them to end...I just have to trust more I guess. I know what I feel is normal, I just take it to a somewhat unhealthy extreme. Which is also common. Just not ideal. I don't like being insecure all the time.

  3. #13
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    Perhaps you have symptoms of Avoidant Personality Disorder.

  4. #14
    philosopher wood nymph greenfairy's Avatar
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    Hm, what's that? I could just look it up, I guess.

  5. #15
    Junior Member teleforce's Avatar
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    i'm INTP and i'm not so afraid of rejection consciously. i think i probably have that fear, but it plays out more through my actions, or rather inaction.

    when i experience rejection with a lover, it really hurts, and with employers it really disappoints. in many ways, i probably structure my life to avoid those feelings. with friends i don't care so much, since i like to think that people are insane if they don't like me (i really like myself). what keeps my fear of rejection from completely taking over my life is probably just that-- my love for and acceptance of myself. i wouldn't assume that you aren't accepting of yourself, however. sometimes i notice that that fear is so much greater just when i know i care very deeply about something.

  6. #16
    right on the left wing Philosorapteuse's Avatar
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    Yeah, I identify with this. I may be independent and not want to be surrounded by people, and dislike clinginess and need my space, but fundamentally I still want to please people. I'm dogged by fear of Getting It Wrong and being rejected for it. Fear of failure/rejection is the main reason I don't try new things. I'm never the one to strike up a relationship, because displaying interest means exposing something that's vulnerable to rejection, which is scary because I'm not good at dealing with it.
    "A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices." --William James

    I'd be a card-carrying sensotard, but I can't find the goddamn card.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by greenfairy View Post
    Hm, what's that? I could just look it up, I guess.
    Avoidant personality disorder[1] (or anxious personality disorder)[2] is a personality disorder recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders handbook in a person characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction.

    People with avoidant personality disorder often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected, or disliked. Avoidant personality disorder is usually first noticed in early adulthood. Childhood emotional neglect and peer group rejection (e.g. bullying) are both associated with an increased risk for the development of AvPD.

    There is controversy as to whether avoidant personality disorder is a distinct disorder from generalized social phobia and it is contended by some that they are merely different conceptualisations of the same disorder, where avoidant personality disorder may represent the more severe form.[3][4] This is argued because generalized social phobia and avoidant personality disorder have a similar diagnostic criteria and may share a similar causation, subjective experience, course, treatment, and identical underlying personality features, such as shyness.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidan...ality_disorder

  8. #18
    F CK all I need is U ilikeitlikethat's Avatar
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    I, INTP don't fear rejection, no no no no, I accept it.

  9. #19
    78% me Eruca's Avatar
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    Id say I've got a pretty bad fear of rejection but at the same time I keep everyone at arm's length. But no, I don't keep them at arms length because I'm scared of them rejecting me. At least, I have other reasons that would cause me to keep them away if I feared rejection or not.

    My hope is once the time comes I can let people in close Ill feel secure naturally without too much work....like a normal person.
    I hope I'm wrong, but I believe that he is a fraud, and I think despite all of his rhetoric about being a champion of the working class, it will turn out to be hollow -- Bernie Sanders on Trump

  10. #20
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    @greenfairy
    How old are you? I ask because that's very common among young INTs.

    Fwiw, here's my suggested guide:
    First, abandon all hope.
    Only then you'll be able not to get attached to these outcomes, and finally get comfortable with being yourself.
    From that point, things are gonna be much simpler. You'll realize that you can't and shouldn't try to control how other people are gonna react, and that a fair dose of uncertainty is the element that makes life an interesting experience.
    I wondered the same and checked the user page to see he/she is 27. And asked if he/she perhaps had a long period of time of stress or depression. Because I also pin most of these issues on INTP immaturity. If he/she never had a proper environment in which to mature, it would make a lot of sense. I haven't yet got an answer to that, but if true (having had bouts of depression or lots of stress) then I think he/she is on the right track and thing will start falling into place before you know it. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

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