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Thread: INTP mistrust

  1. #11
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Colors View Post
    Don't you think there's something incredibly presumptuous about assuming she must be a hurt soul and that you must save/be nice to her? Lots of people have somewhat morose-looking neutral expressions.

    Not that I know. Maybe she does have "deep pains", maybe she doesn't. Why don't you be a nice friend and hang out and enjoy her company without worrying about it? (If it's truly something she wants to share- something she finds it your business to know about- if there is anything to hide, that is, it'll come up of her own accord.)
    Wow, that's harsh. I never bother her about it, the questions are all being asked inside of me. I never insist on anything she doesn't want to talk about.
    And I don't pity her at all, if that's what you mean. I admire her greatly and I love her very deeply.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    I think, of all the MBTI archetypes, it's the INTP who values greater understanding of anything.

    The same can be said of an xNTJs but usually, their desire to know is usually just a tool for their agenda, unlike us INTPs who value understanding per se.

    It can be thus frustrating when we try to exert understanding on anything, and yet the rest of the world view us or things into something that we may sometimes find limited or insufficient. If it's not their J function (prejudice) that hinders it, it's their S value (face value) that do. It even gets more annoying if it's an SJ.

    We INTPs don't like to be put in a box, yet the rest of the world do, so we put really strong respect to those who see where our perspective is coming. Usually, aside from our fellow INTPs, the INFPs are really good at seeing us. I guess that has something to do with their flexibility.

  3. #13
    Senior Membrane spirilis's Avatar
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    I can agree with most here in that I portray a rather morose, even pissed-off expression on my face when I am feeling "neutral" or analyzing something hard. It sometimes makes me wonder if it has something to do with the Fe "shadow"--like if there is a shadow mind inside making the expression when I'm not paying attention, attempting to show its distaste for its lack of functional attention (which is given to dominant Thinking instead). While I've not received any external confirmation of this, I find that when I sit back and listen to my whole mind--giving attention to everything I can sense that I am thinking about (more or less allowing my mind to distract itself freely without imposed sequence or structure), I find myself smiling a bit.

  4. #14
    a white iris elfinchilde's Avatar
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    concur with capocalyse.

    another point to add on: it's that INTPs only seek to understand, but rarely want to impose control on others/the world, even if mastery has been achieved of that system. But very few types can understand this, and instead question why the intp doesn't want to act/is so 'lazy'. (notably, xSTJs.)
    You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
    They called me the hyacinth girl.
    Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
    Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
    Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
    Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
    Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

    --T.S Eliot, The Wasteland

  5. #15
    Senior Member sandwich's Avatar
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    If she acts indifferent then it's best to leave it at that. Either you're reading into something that isn't there or she's not ready to talk about it. I don't think this is "mistrusting," but I know that I wouldn't just tell people about something I'm going through until after I've dealt with it. It's a part of my desire for self-sufficiency/independence and partly my own stubbornness. That is, if I'm actually dealing with something. She looks more like she's concentrating.

  6. #16
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandwich View Post
    She looks more like she's concentrating.
    Oh, definitely concentrating.
    Is it true NTs are extremely focused when they focus ? I think it is from my experience. Whenever I talk to my friend and I have good reasons to believe she might be focusing on something in her head, she sort of pushes me aside, refusing any conversation. It can be quite painful to me, because I always perceive it as rejection.

  7. #17
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Oh, definitely concentrating.
    Is it true NTs are extremely focused when they focus ? I think it is from my experience. Whenever I talk to my friend and I have good reasons to believe she might be focusing on something in her head, she sort of pushes me aside, refusing any conversation. It can be quite painful to me, because I always perceive it as rejection.
    Yes, that's the problem with NTs and most people, especially INTs. Usually what they're coming up with in their heads is more interesting than the human interaction offered to them, so they shrug you off.

    We don't want you to take it personally, but everyone does.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  8. #18
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    Back on the topic of mistrust...

    I find one of the things my INTP best friend (and an INTP ex boyfriend) have in common with SJ's I know is a sense of mistrust. I feel the two INFP's I know have this quality as well. It makes me think that it's stemming from Si - especially since in each instance of mistrust, it seems to be stemming from a past experience. Maybe a Si/Ne cycle where the options of what could happen based on what has happened turns into a mistrust of the unknown?

    Thoughts?

  9. #19
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quietgirl View Post
    Back on the topic of mistrust...
    It seems to be stemming from a past experience.

    Thoughts?
    See, that's what I saw in her. But then again, INFJs are naturally "authors," and they make stories out of people. I keep seeing a novel character in my INTP friend, and so I give her a secret, tragic past that probably doesn't exist.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Cypocalypse's Avatar
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    Klessard,

    Seeing that you're an INFP, here's what I can suggest:

    1. Never go around the bush and never interact with your INTP friend in the form of a chit chat. INTPs don't really give a damn about chit chats--the more trivial it is and the more it doesn't fit into the bigger picture of anything, the more likely that what you'd say will be ignored. My girlfriend is an ISFJ and she has a knack of seeing me getting bored if she tells stories about the tiny details of her everyday life that doesn't really matter that much (e.g., her interaction with her fellow employees, etc.)

    2. Use your intuition (Ni) to get her attention. INTPs are suckers for intuitive knowledge. They like reading between the lines like it's a drug addiction of some sort. Since you have a strong Fe, you can tell her things about social dynamics. Social dynamics, for example would seem to be a bigger body of knowledge, than let's say, some specific person's hairstyle for the day. The larger the idea and the more it fits into the bigger picture, the more interesting it becomes.

    3. INTPs are suckers for knowledge but these knowledge are in the form of insights or wisdom (Ti), not really that much on knowledge that's catered to specialization and rigorous implementation (Te), or things that seem to be needlessly intellectual. Again, don't go into the specifics. Broaden things up.

    4. INTPs know that they have a weak Fe and they've already accepted that they're not suited for big social situations. The more proactive INTPs thus try to offset this by looking for those they deem knowledgeable enough in understanding them. They need deeper ties and they really value those that seem to have a good understanding of them.

    5. They appear to be melancholic because sometimes, they enjoy being in such disposition. For one, they know that they can't be realistically depressed because their thinking function dissipates the feeling function before it gets out of control. INTPs don't really become significantly depressed, at all.

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