User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 56

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    infp
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    1

    Unhappy How do you know an INTP is in love? INTP's please Help!

    So I am a little bit confused about a situation with a guy I am in love with. He is an INTP, we've known each other for about 9 months. Since the first day I met him I could tell that we had a lot of chemistry. We became good friends because I could really feel he "got" me... I didn't like him in a romantic way though. He always joked about us having potential chemistry and about how we were going to have an affair. I always said NO but he texted me all the time and I really liked him as a friend.

    One day we kissed while we were drunk and he stayed over at my apt. But nothing happened, we cuddled and it was really awkward next morning. But we forgot about it and moved on... We were still friends but then we kissed again, and I started to like him... he stayed at my place and we cuddled all night so I began to fall for him. We hooked up and did intimate things but never sex. He was really nice and he mentioned a lot that "he would always be there for me" but that he didn't want a relationship. He said he didn't have time and that a girlfriend was really high-maintenance and he didn't want anything because he literally had no time.

    I kept pressuring him to have a relationship (a casual one but that I wanted to be just with him) but he didn't want to, even though he would still want to call me every day and spend time with me. He said one time "maybe weare not the perfect couple but we care about each other right? we should just try and see how things happen" so we went on "dates" a couple of times but he still didn't want the title...

    I ended up getting tired of that and told him to stop calling me and that we should avoid each other. Before that, I told him I really liked him, that I loved being with him and that I knew he felt the same... but he just kept saying he didn't feel that he wanted a relationship. So at the end we would always get in fights and I could feel he was uncomfortable with my "drama".

    So we stopped talking for about a month. When I saw him again (about two weeks ago) we had a really good conversation, I could tell that he missed me and I missed him too. We started talking again and he apologized for being so mean. So we started talking again. He would text me regularly like before... and last weekend I invited him to hang out with a couple of friends.. we talked and our "friendship" was great once again. Up until saturday!

    He told me to go to the same club were he was. He bought me drinks and stayed with me the whole night. We both knew something was going to happen.. and it did. We went to my apt and we had sex. For the first time... we agreed no drama and no strings attached. It was awesome... lol and he stayed over. The next day he called me to ask me how was I feeling and he has been calling me every day. Just to ask me random things.. but he is keeping touch.

    I know he is terrified of the title... but I don't wanna be fooling myself when he may only be wanting sex or something. He is like my best guy friend and he cares about me... I am willing to respect his "no relationship" thing.. I don't care being his fwb as long as I know that it's just the title but that he cares about me.

    I am so sorry for posting this long post but I am confused and everyone tells me "a man is a man" "he is an asshole" but I know he is not! I am not fooling myself. So that is why I want you to tell me, what does he feel?? Does he have feelings for me?? And would he be "faithful" meaning is he looking to hook up with other girls??

    I just don't want to let him go when we get along so well.

  2. #2
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    511

    Default

    Only he knows how he feels and maybe not even him. My advice is, expect nothing, you may get something. Or not. Do not like him more than he likes you, stay busy with your own fun things. If you chase him, you will lose.

    Yep, that's all I got.
    "It's never enough." The Cure
    Likes SheeplyShu liked this post

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sx/so
    Socionics
    Will
    Posts
    5,927

    Default

    INTP is probably the hardest type to get extremely close to since they are so stoic and solitary, so I would say any chance of a relationship is a pipe dream.
    Likes SheeplyShu, Punderstorm liked this post

  4. #4
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,859

    Default

    If they break a smile looking like they're hating showing their attraction but trying to be all serious, then they've got the bug.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'
    Likes SheeplyShu, Punderstorm liked this post

  5. #5
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Solution: Find an ENTP. They > INTPs.


  6. #6
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Enneagram
    3w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,859

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Solution: Find an ENTP. They > INTPs.

    Yea @Saturned I think this too^

    Am I being bad?

    Edit: There's someone for everyone. Who knows who is ideal. I think if you can make it work with someone, who you get along with, enjoy, and who you have the least trouble around, you're doing it right.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'
    Likes SheeplyShu, Punderstorm liked this post

  7. #7
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,879

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Solution: Find an ENTP. They > INTPs.


  8. #8
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Oops, I need to clarify!

    Male ENTPs > Male INTPs

    Female INTPs =

    Edit: At OP... Here is the deal with male INTPs: they aren't worth it for the most part. They don't know what they want and they will flirt outrageously with you until AMGS NO!! EMOSHUNSSSSSSSSS and then they will disappear for months at a time and expect you to just deal with it and have no needs of your own. A much better fit for a fluffy INFP is an INTJ or and ENTP. The ENTPs are like sugar infected PEEPs and INTJs are gloriously reserved with a heart full of butterflies.

    Edit #2: @kelric is not counted amongst these terrible scourges of humanity. He's 10 kinds of win.
    Likes SheeplyShu, Punderstorm liked this post

  9. #9
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    2,879

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Oops, I need to clarify!

    Male ENTPs > Male INTPs

    Female INTPs =

    Edit: At OP... Here is the deal with male INTPs: they aren't worth it for the most part. They don't know what they want and they will flirt outrageously with you until AMGS NO EMOSHUNSSSSSSSSS and then they will disappear for months at a time and expect you to just deal with it and have no needs of your own. A much better fit for a fluffy INFP is an INTJ or and ENTP. The ENTPs are like sugar infected PEEPs and INTJs are gloriously reserved with a heart full of butterflies.
    That's better. Thank you, Saturned!

    And yeah...Saturned and NotOfTwo are right for the most part. I took a look at the OP and just closed my eyes.

    Does he have feelings for you? I'd say probably so but only he can say. Having feelings is the problem.

    Feelings = danger. Emotional distance = safety. Not exactly the best ground for growing a relationship.

    Enjoy the connection, sex, and getting along well. Don't expect much or be too hopeful because INTPs can be really awful when it comes to relationships (and yes, I am including myself). If he feels pressured or thinks that you have expectations that he's not ready or willing to meet, then it will get messy real quick.

  10. #10
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Attention Mods: Can we please have a subforum entitled "If you are going to create a thread about an INTP Male, go here first!" And then in the forum there needs to be one thread. And within that one thread there needs to be one post. And within that one post there should be a link to the book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You."

Similar Threads

  1. [INFJ] How do you encourage an INFJ, or, How do you know if an INFJ has lost interest in you
    By Spring in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 03-29-2013, 09:52 PM
  2. [ISFP] How do you know an ISFP women loves you?
    By Kambro in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 06-13-2010, 12:30 AM
  3. [ESFJ] How do you know an ESFJ is interested?
    By lifeintechnicolor in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 04-22-2009, 04:17 AM
  4. [NT] How Do you Tell an INTP from an ENTP prof?
    By Usehername in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11-08-2007, 01:51 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO