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  1. #51
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    Well here's my opinion as a female INTP.

    INTPs are scared of relationships, period. They are scared of feelings, of committment, of other people needing emotional support... Basically everything a relationship is. They also don't really need other people. So your guy has a fundamental disinclination for a relationship with ANYONE.

    It's not about whether he likes you or not. He does, trust me. But does he need you? Sometimes. But sometimes not. One thing you are going to need to figure out is whether you can be okay with being his "sometimes" person. If your heart is going to be shattered every time he walks away for time somewhere else, (whether it's someONE else or just personal space) then it just won't work.

    This isn't to say that you can't find a common ground to work with, however. One plus about INTPs is that they are good at understanding things if they are put in an analytical form. It may still be difficult for him to explore feelings and needs, but that's something I highly encourage you to do with him. I recommend lists. Lists of needs and expectations may help bridge the gap between the "scary emotional stuff" and tangible things that he can grasp.

    Whatever you do, don't wait around hoping for him to change. He will never be able to fill all of your needs, even if he does improve in some areas. The question is, will you find someone else who is better at filling them, or can you find ways to fill many of your own needs yourself? (eg. a best friend for emotional support, a dog for a constant companion...)

    Lastly, in defense of INTPs ... We aren't actually cruel and heartless. Our needs just look different from everyone else's. We have feelings, and we don't want to hurt anyone, but we are REALLY terrible at emotional support.

    Anyway, I hope this helps. Good luck to you both.

  2. #52
    also not a cat Snickie's Avatar
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    Also, be ready for you and the relationship itself to be analysed and psychoanalysed throughout every stage. It's what Ti-doms do.

    Get a dog or a couple cats (real/alive or stuffed/plush if you're allergic to pets) to comfort you during the bursts of tears that will almost undoubtedly ensue when they say something wrong (and they undoubtedly will at some point). I say several because what if you and your INTP are both upset at the same time and both need cuddling and don't want to cuddle each other for whatever reason. That kind of stuff.

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  3. #53
    Member Libra_Rising's Avatar
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    I've only met a handful of INTPs and possibly 2 INTP females and I think they're all insufferable and difficult to have any sort of personal relationship/friendship with. I can't imagine what it's like for anyone to bother to have a romantic relationship with them, being that they are prone to analysis paralysis for every minutia that doesn't go according to how they imagine things to be.

    How will anyone know they're in love? Probably no one would know, since the INTP are most likely not even aware of it themselves.

  4. #54
    Member Laxton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Libra_Rising View Post
    I've only met a handful of INTPs and possibly 2 INTP females and I think they're all insufferable and difficult to have any sort of personal relationship/friendship with. I can't imagine what it's like for anyone to bother to have a romantic relationship with them, being that they are prone to analysis paralysis for every minutia that doesn't go according to how they imagine things to be.

    How will anyone know they're in love? Probably no one would know, since the INTP are most likely not even aware of it themselves.
    This is true. INTPs in general do not know what they want. Most of them that I know are somewhat intelligent but complete losers in almost every aspect of life, especially relationships, simply because they are so in their own head.

    Quote Originally Posted by Anew Leaf View Post
    Solution: Find an ENTP. They > INTPs.

    We're not that much better. The only difference between me and an INTP is that I am more talkative and better at expressing my thoughts.

  5. #55
    Member Libra_Rising's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laxton View Post
    This is true. INTPs in general do not know what they want. Most of them that I know are somewhat intelligent but complete losers in almost every aspect of life, especially relationships, simply because they are so in their own head.



    We're not that much better. The only difference between me and an INTP is that I am more talkative and better at expressing my thoughts.
    Speak for yourself. Just because you have hang-ups verbally communicating with others doesn't mean that ENTPs have that trouble. ENTP by characteristic is a negotiator, and that hallmarks a very strong command over verbal and written communication. An ENTP who lacks strong communication skills and has difficulties expressing their thoughts and observations to the external world is either not ENTP or they are extremely young and have not acquired such skill set. However, MBTI shows an individual's personality through natural inclinations. To not have the natural inclination towards outward and even, outrageous communication styles, is hard to even lay stake to being ENTP.

    ENTP are masters at assessing their environment and able to successfully maneuver in and through all sorts of social climates. ENTP only comes second to ENFP in that regard. The ability to be that malleable is the nuclei of ENTP. You cannot be an ENTP without having that ability.

    You could be some other type, but virtually every ENTP I've come across is very social. I'm social, but I'm not the exception, I'm the norm for ENTP. Not "social" as in the obnoxious-loud-kegger-partier type, but socially savvy enough to talk to anyone and everyone about a variety of things. There is very little to no social hang-ups. The majority of comedians are ENTP and that should come as no surprise. An ENTP cannot maneuver in the world without scoping out their external environment, and to do so is to directly interact with others, which involves TALKING to others. And lots of it.

  6. #56
    Member Laxton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Libra_Rising View Post
    Speak for yourself. Just because you have hang-ups verbally communicating with others doesn't mean that ENTPs have that trouble. ENTP by characteristic is a negotiator, and that hallmarks a very strong command over verbal and written communication. An ENTP who lacks strong communication skills and has difficulties expressing their thoughts and observations to the external world is either not ENTP or they are extremely young and have not acquired such skill set. However, MBTI shows an individual's personality through natural inclinations. To not have the natural inclination towards outward and even, outrageous communication styles, is hard to even lay stake to being ENTP.

    ENTP are masters at assessing their environment and able to successfully maneuver in and through all sorts of social climates. ENTP only comes second to ENFP in that regard. The ability to be that malleable is the nuclei of ENTP. You cannot be an ENTP without having that ability.

    You could be some other type, but virtually every ENTP I've come across is very social. I'm social, but I'm not the exception, I'm the norm for ENTP. Not "social" as in the obnoxious-loud-kegger-partier type, but socially savvy enough to talk to anyone and everyone about a variety of things. There is very little to no social hang-ups. The majority of comedians are ENTP and that should come as no surprise. An ENTP cannot maneuver in the world without scoping out their external environment, and to do so is to directly interact with others, which involves TALKING to others. And lots of it.
    Wow, you sure did a good job drawing a conclusion that outrageous based on two paragraphs that I wrote. I have this skillset, but describing it in this manner comes off as extremely pretentious, so I don't like wasting my time doing it. Making blanket statements about a personality type that makes up 3% of the population is pretty absurd as well, because people in general are radically different from one another.

    I'm a skilled negotiator and I can do well in almost any social environment, with very few exceptions. I'm part of many different social groups and am a very extroverted person in general. However, I tend to get bored of relationships and certain people and can drop relationships whenever they become tedious or boring.

    Making a statement like "ENTPs are masters of assessing their environment" is stupid, because ENTPs do not appeal to as many people as they think they do. I have many friends as well as haters, just like everybody else. Sometimes I'm completely oblivious of how much people hate me until they give me some sort of outward sign, and I assume that most ENTPs are like that as well.

    I have an ENTP friend who thinks so many girls are attracted to him, when in fact many of them are repulsed by him and he is completely oblivious to that fact. Many ENTPs are completely delusional to the fact that they are not as great at everything as they think they are.

    Narcissism and vanity is also pretty characteristic of this personality type, bjt that doesnt mean that all ENTPs are narcissists. The fact that you just made personal statements such as telling me that I am probably mistyped with such confidence does nothing but show me how little you actually know about me. I'm not saying that you're completely wrong, but the fact that you are straying so far from my post as to say that I am mistyped because you assumed that I lack the "command of verbal communicatiom" based off of a random paragraph that I wrote confused the fuck out of me and I don't know where to begin arguing with that because there is so much wrong with it.

    ENTPs also have a tendency to get bored of people, places, and lifestyles relatively quickly. Relationships are not excluded from the list of possible things that ENTPs get bored of. Rationalize it all you want, but INTPs and ENTPs are alike in their habit of dropping people without notice. I've been in many relationships, but none of them have ever lasted longer than 6 months, and sometimes devolve into a relationship that is held together purely based off of physical attraction because one of us (usually me) has lost interest in allowing it to go any further than that, for whatever reason that may be.

    I'm not saying that none of this applies to me, but you seem to have forgotten that someone's personality type is not set in stone, and people of different types exhibit their behaviors differently. Also, I don't have "hang ups" when it comes to communicating with others and I'm not sure what part of my word choice gave you that impression.

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