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  1. #11
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    2 possible scenarios:

    a)
    You get too interested
    You scare him away
    The end

    b)
    You lose interest
    He gets too interested
    He scares you away
    The end
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------
    Likes SheeplyShu liked this post

  2. #12
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    They don't know what they want and they will flirt outrageously with you until AMGS NO!! EMOSHUNSSSSSSSSS and then they will disappear for months at a time and expect you to just deal with it and have no needs of your own.
    its always nice to know that you dont possess some of the weaknesses of other people of your type

    also, it should be mentioned that if an INTP flirts with you irl, he most likely doesent see you as a potential gf(if you two arent on a date), but more like someone who he can freely play with without neither of you getting hurt
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #13
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    @op

    there is this triangular theory of love thing:



    basically:
    Nonlove "refers simply to the absence of all three components of love. Nonlove characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships, which are simply casual interactions."[3]

    Liking/friendship is "used here in a nontrivial sense. Rather, it refers to the set of feelings one experiences in relationships that can truly be characterized as friendship. One feels closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment."[4]

    Infatuated love: "infatuation results from the experiencing of passionate arousal in the absence of intimacy and decision/commitment...like Tennov's limerance."[5] Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.

    Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion. A stronger love may deteriorate into empty love. In an arranged marriage, the spouses' relationship may begin as empty love and develop into another form, indicating "how empty love need not be the terminal state of a long-term relationship...[but] the beginning rather than the end."[6]

    Romantic love "derives from a combination of the intimate and passionate components of love...romantic lovers are not only drawn physically to each other but are also bonded emotionally"[7] - bonded both intimately and passionately, but without sustaining commitment.

    Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. "This type of love is observed in long-term marriages where passion is no longer present"[8] but where a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.

    Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage - "fatuous in the sense that a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing influence of intimate involvement."[9]

    Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple.” According to Sternberg, these couples will continue to have great sex fifteen years or more into the relationship, they cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.[10] However, Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action. "Without expression," he warns, "even the greatest of loves can die."[11] Thus, consummate love may not be permanent. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love.
    personally i dont see other forms of "love" than consummate love being romantic love at all, maybe him as an INTP has similar point of view to this, so telling him that you love him and asking him if he loves you might freak him out completely if he thinks you are talking about consummate love. and i can be certain that he doesent have consummate love towards you.

    show him this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love and ask how he feels towards you and you might get a better understanding about his feelings.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  4. #14
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Has it been agreed on whether you are 'exclusive' or not?

    You can be 'exclusive' with someone in the dating stage without actually being boyfriend/girlfriend yet.

    If he doesn't want to be exclusive either, then I'd say run (because you clearly want more than that).
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  5. #15
    Senior Member Oeufa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rasofy View Post
    2 possible scenarios:

    a)
    You get too interested
    You scare him away
    The end

    b)
    You lose interest
    He gets too interested
    He scares you away
    The end
    Sounds about right to me .

    For what it's worth, I'd say give up on him for now. Give him some space and maybe he'll grow up a bit. If you keep pandering to his nonsense he's likely to keep things that way .
    Ti>Ne>Si>Te>Fi>Ni>Se=Fe

    And yes, there are such things as INTPs who overuse emoticons

  6. #16
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    He's not in love with you. And doesn't really sound INTP. Texts/calls/talks to you everyday and not even in a relationship? I couldn't imagine a bigger waste of time.

    When INTPs aren't really sure what they want out of another person they'll be extremely into you when you're face to face, but then drop off the face of the earth when you're not in sight. This is the opposite of that.



  7. #17
    Senior Member ExAstrisSpes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ana View Post
    I kept pressuring him to have a relationship (a casual one but that I wanted to be just with him) but he didn't want to, even though he would still want to call me every day and spend time with me. He said one time "maybe weare not the perfect couple but we care about each other right? we should just try and see how things happen" so we went on "dates" a couple of times but he still didn't want the title...
    Don't do that. With any fellow. Seriously.

    Quote Originally Posted by NotOfTwo View Post
    My advice is, expect nothing, you may get something. Or not. Do not like him more than he likes you, stay busy with your own fun things. If you chase him, you will lose.
    This. With any man. Never expect anything unless they explicitly tell you that you can, and even then tread with caution.

    Quote Originally Posted by RaptorWizard View Post
    any chance of a relationship is a pipe dream.
    Quite probably.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    They don't know what they want and they will flirt outrageously with you until AMGS NO!! EMOSHUNSSSSSSSSS and then they will disappear for months at a time and expect you to just deal with it and have no needs of your own.
    Yes. This basically happened to my with my long distance ex before I got fed up with it. I hated, *hated* having my needs marginalized.

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Attention Mods: Can we please have a subforum entitled "If you are going to create a thread about an INTP Male, go here first!" And then in the forum there needs to be one thread. And within that one thread there needs to be one post. And within that one post there should be a link to the book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You."
    I 2nd this.

    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    When INTPs aren't really sure what they want out of another person they'll be extremely into you when you're face to face, but then drop off the face of the earth when you're not in sight.
    I wish I had known this with my last INTP ex. I would have saved myself months of wailing and gnashing of teeth.

    When an INTP is infatuated with you, they do/say things like this:

    "I noticed you're wearing the same earrings on all your photos on Facebook"

    If they are driving, they take the longest way possible back to your place because he doesn't want to say goodnight (or is working up the courage to say goodnight).

    Someone once posted here something about INTPs trying to smile. That.

  8. #18
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    knee hugging is usually a hint
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  9. #19
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    How old are you? INTPs indecisive nature and seeing endless possibilities means we don't tie down easy

  10. #20
    actinomycetes raindancing's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Attention Mods: Can we please have a subforum entitled "If you are going to create a thread about an INTP Male, go here first!" And then in the forum there needs to be one thread. And within that one thread there needs to be one post. And within that one post there should be a link to the book entitled "He's Just Not That Into You."
    Perhaps I lucked out with my INTP, or perhaps it had to do with meeting him online.
    We had the most amazing conversation online when we first met, stayed up until 4am talking. Talked everyday after that. I was not even remotely thinking of him romantically at that stage, just loved talking to him. Next thing I know he tells me he broke up with his girlfriend. I am thinking "ohshiiittttt!" But we just kept interacting like normal and it wasn't long before I realized that my feelings weren't exactly platonic either And then he was ahem rather quick to make a move.
    “Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

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