• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[NT] Is it common for a woman to battle being typed as an NT?

Cold Roses

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
51
I know in my Ni that I am a bloody INTJ. I formally tested out as one a decade ago. I have that look, you know? THAT one. I say, "I think" far more than "I feel" and that is just the way it is.

For three days I thought more or less out loud about this whole MBTI thing and tried to convince myself that I was an INFJ because it seemed 'friendlier'. That's sort of erroneous, anyway. Maybe there are some INTJs that are stone cold logicians that don't give a fig about anything, but that could be true for any type. I was feeding on the propaganda.

I also took this black and white stance on the whole feeling aspect where I decided that if I possessed any strong ethics or values and a more tolerant view of humanity then that must mean I am an F. That's a weird leap. Besides, Fe and Fi are different and INTJs have Fi as a tertiary function, after all. I think I'm doing alright with my Fi, so maybe that colors things.

I'm not the emotional genius I want to be, and it is pointless trying to fool myself. I know that INTJ is and was correct. I'm done mulling it.

But my question is: Have any of my fellow female NTs had the same sort of warped reaction to their type? Or am I just all disjointed? (The latter could be true, a friend died of an overdose just a week ago and I am dealing with a heavy health thing that endlessly irritates me because it messes with my equilibrium)
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I think that a lot of more emotionally oriented or emotionally aware NTs may try to resist being typed as one because a lot of the time the descriptions are so one dimensional in general; many of the type's strengths show up in the individual rather than in the description IMO. The description describes what it is, and the person shows how it's used; and that's where it matters (and can also get very confusing, you could use your NT functions to deal with people for instance, and it may work well, so you might be inclined to think you're an F for example).

It also doesn't help that women are basically expected to be some kind of SF generally; so cultural pressures would make being an NT woman difficult and maybe hard for some to conclude depending on their orientation toward society.
 

Xenon

(blankpages)
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
832
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
It would likely depend on her individual experiences, upbringing, attitudes, etc. Personally, I can't say I ever disliked the NT descriptions or felt bad about them. I knew it didn't match the social expectations of women, but I always thought those were stupid anyway.

I did have some confusion over it for a while, because of stereotypes (Ts are rock-steady and emotionless), black & white test questions and things like that. I could always think of examples where I "made a decision based on emotion" (they were usually crappy decisions, but I still did it) or when I thought compassion was more important than justice. So I kept questioning. It took learning more about the theory and interacting with people here before it was clear I was a T.
 
S

Society

Guest
well, there's two simple principles one can notice:

1. (T>F)s are more inclined towards "i can't feel what i don't think" then they are towards "i can't think what i don't feel".
2. from my own scetchy 'study' known as asking Fi-users around, i noticed (Fi)'s are more inclined to base their values on their upbringing and internal expectations then they are inclined to notice the expectations of others. both are value-based, but the source is different (and can actually - IMO in some people - be somewhere in the middle).

if those apply to you, your probably an xNTJ. if only the later applies to you, you might be an xNFP.

if you have both introverted & extroverted intuition, both introverted & extroverted thinking, limited extroverted feeling and extroverted sensing... your doctor house. congratulations, the MBTI says your not supposed to exist.
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,906
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
I know in my Ni that I am a bloody INTJ. I formally tested out as one a decade ago. I have that look, you know? THAT one. I say, "I think" far more than "I feel" and that is just the way it is.

For three days I thought more or less out loud about this whole MBTI thing and tried to convince myself that I was an INFJ because it seemed 'friendlier'. That's sort of erroneous, anyway. Maybe there are some INTJs that are stone cold logicians that don't give a fig about anything, but that could be true for any type. I was feeding on the propaganda.

I also took this black and white stance on the whole feeling aspect where I decided that if I possessed any strong ethics or values and a more tolerant view of humanity then that must mean I am an F. That's a weird leap. Besides, Fe and Fi are different and INTJs have Fi as a tertiary function, after all. I think I'm doing alright with my Fi, so maybe that colors things.

I'm not the emotional genius I want to be, and it is pointless trying to fool myself. I know that INTJ is and was correct. I'm done mulling it.

But my question is: Have any of my fellow female NTs had the same sort of warped reaction to their type? Or am I just all disjointed? (The latter could be true, a friend died of an overdose just a week ago and I am dealing with a heavy health thing that endlessly irritates me because it messes with my equilibrium)

No. Here's why. Regardless of your type, no where is it said that you are unable to develop the less dominant traits simply because you are INTJ.. Would it be easier for me as a female if I was >insert furry and warm F type? I dunno. Maybe. Do I care? No. With age has come the ability and desire to develop the warm fuzzy side but I never lost any INTJ-ness and I don't want to. I would like to become the well rounded person I am clearly capable of being, as can anyone who wants to. Truthfully, I think I got the much better end of the deal when it comes to personality and I'm sure the F's feel the same way.
 

Cold Roses

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
51
These were excellent responses and totally in line with what I was trying to get at/to. Mane, those statements apply. I feel confident in Introverted Intuition, Extroverted Thinking and Introverted Feeling. How I use them is how I use them. I just felt resistant of that bad robotic stereotype. Ceecee, thanks. That's exactly the way I am looking at it. I just rankle at black and white typing and INTJs seem to get a lot of that. Of course, I am sure the rest of the types also think that about their own type. I don't mind being an INTJ because that is what I am. That has not changed in the 10 years since I last took an MBTI, and is not likely to change, now.
 
S

Society

Guest
this threads reminds me of a conversation i've had once with an ENTJ - that rather then projecting the NT/NF masculinity/femininity dillema on herself, brought it outwards - she was saying that while its entirely normal for NT males to find NF females attractives, its less to do with NFs complimenting NTs and more to do with viewing NFs as more feminine, and that for her and NF male would be too feminine for her.

i later found that it can sort of be applied to my ex-marriage, where i saw a lot of my INTJ 8w9 father in my INFJ 8w7 ex-wife, as an almost more feminine version...
tumblr_ltu1rcS89z1r1uuego1_500.jpg
 

Cold Roses

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
51
You know, my last two lovers were INTJs or INTPs. Well, that is to say...probably one of each. Though possibly the same. They are both INTs as well, at any rate. I would have to think on their distinctions. I can see your friend's point of view. This whole thread has me on about something again, though. More or less inconsequential in regard to my query, however. I'm an INT. Of this there can only be certainty. Now I'm on about really looking at the way Ti and Te function, as well as Ni and Ne. I need someone who is absolutely excellent at breaking down the two types to appear. Or I just need to investigate when I am not faded out from not sleeping all night so as not to oversleep through class again. At any rate, the inner workings of MBTI is still new to me, even though I first typed a long while back. I don't think I bothered to understand what it all meant, at that time.
 

Tiltyred

New member
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
4,322
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
468
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Ah, I see you and ceecee being similar flavors, yes. This seems right. And you couldn't be in better company.

Just by the way, INFJ often says "I see." We're not F doms; we're visionaries. But I only say "I think" when I'm being hesitant, which is not the same way INTJs typically use it.
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
It would likely depend on her individual experiences, upbringing, attitudes, etc. Personally, I can't say I ever disliked the NT descriptions or felt bad about them. I knew it didn't match the social expectations of women, but I always thought those were stupid anyway.

I did have some confusion over it for a while, because of stereotypes (Ts are rock-steady and emotionless), black & white test questions and things like that. I could always think of examples where I "made a decision based on emotion" (they were usually crappy decisions, but I still did it) or when I thought compassion was more important than justice. So I kept questioning. It took learning more about the theory and interacting with people here before it was clear I was a T.

I'm a female (although I've been mistaken for a male on here!) and I agree with all of this except I'm not as clear on the T. T/F are pretty close and I relate alot to certain aspects of F.
 

Red Herring

Superwoman
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
7,483
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When I first took the test it came out INTP. But since the person who had given me the link also got INTP (and rightfully so as I now know) I hesitated, thought it odd and tried again, being stricter with myself - was I really a robot? It came out INFP. After that the results tended to be INXP. I had not yet heard about cognitive functions. But somehow the INFP description was off in several regards and when I heard about functions it was immediately clear that there was no way I was an Fi/Te user. Ti sounded like home, as natural as breathing, and I could observe Fe, but neither Fi nor Te. From there on the case was pretty clear.

I also underwent some changes during that period and am much closer to the "real me" now and more at peace with myself than I was a few years ago. I still resist the cold robot stereotype even though I remember incidents from early childhood onwards that could be interpreted as such. As a female and daughter of an ENTP mother and an INFJ father I have been all too well trained in Fe, which might distort the picture, but it is an aquired skill that complements Ti.

As others have stated before, I have always felt kind of at odds with traditional gender roles and knew something was different. The diagnosis "female INTP" actually helped explain a lot.


I remember reading somewhere:
INFP - fluffy on the outside, fluffy on the inside
INFJ - cold on the outside, fluffy on the inside
INTP - fluffy on the outside, cold on the inside
INTJ - cold on the outside, cold on the inside

Present company excluded! :D
 

Xenon

(blankpages)
Joined
Oct 5, 2009
Messages
832
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5
I'm a female (although I've been mistaken for a male on here!) and I agree with all of this except I'm not as clear on the T. T/F are pretty close and I relate alot to certain aspects of F.

Yeah...I thought I was close on T/F myself for awhile, but since my ideas about what that represents became more refined I decided I'm not as close as I once thought. As [MENTION=10251]Red Herring[/MENTION] said, Ti really felt like home when I read about it, more than anything else. YMMV of course.


When I first took the test it came out INTP. But since the person who had given me the link also got INTP (and rightfully so as I now know) I hesitated, thought it odd and tried again, being stricter with myself - was I really a robot? It came out INFP. After that the results tended to be INXP.

Lol, I've done similar stuff so many times - I would read a description and start thinking of the ways it may not apply, and then the next time I took the test I'd keep those exceptions on my mind because I wanted to "make sure" I wasn't being biased or something...and I'd end up erring in the opposite direction.
 

Cold Roses

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
51
I think my INTJ-ness stems mostly from extreme Ni with distinct lack of Fe. Ha. BUT! Cognitive tests actually put my Fi well in line with my Te. I also have a fairly balanced Te/Ti, actually. The reason why INTJ fits most is the Ni dominant/primary sans the Fe. Since Te/Ti seem to be so close, that could call INTP into question. But I am not working with Ne even remotely close to the extreme way I apparently work with Ni. So I do have a lot of introverted feeling happening but insofar as the whole collective picture goes...I am Ni/Te/Fi and thus an INTJ. Maybe just looking at the surface of INTJ was not entirely resonant because there are some funny stereotypes going on with that. Most of it I could relate to, nonetheless. I just didn't think I was bereft of feelings, which is accurate. Of course, my ability to express such feelings can be questionable. That's why I write bad poetry and shut up.

I like what you ladies have said. It resonates.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
Staff member
Joined
Apr 18, 2010
Messages
27,226
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
When I first took the test it came out INTP. But since the person who had given me the link also got INTP (and rightfully so as I now know) I hesitated, thought it odd and tried again, being stricter with myself - was I really a robot? It came out INFP.
If you want stereotypes, INTJs are robots. INTPs are absent-minded professors.

So I do have a lot of introverted feeling happening but insofar as the whole collective picture goes...I am Ni/Te/Fi and thus an INTJ. Maybe just looking at the surface of INTJ was not entirely resonant because there are some funny stereotypes going on with that. Most of it I could relate to, nonetheless. I just didn't think I was bereft of feelings, which is accurate. Of course, my ability to express such feelings can be questionable. That's why I write bad poetry and shut up.
INTJs are hardly bereft of feelings, or values. This stereotype has far fewer grains of truth in it than most. The inability, even unwillingness to express our feelings is common, however, which is why it can look to others that we simply don't have them.
 

Cold Roses

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2012
Messages
51
If you want stereotypes, INTJs are robots. INTPs are absent-minded professors.


INTJs are hardly bereft of feelings, or values. This stereotype has far fewer grains of truth in it than most. The inability, even unwillingness to express our feelings is common, however, which is why it can look to others that we simply don't have them.


Yes, absolutely about the feelings, values. Unwillingness and inability are familiar. I like to think I have gotten better about expressing my feelings in a coherent manner as I have gotten older. This is a good thing. However, much of the time I am more interested in telling someone what I am thinking than what I am feeling and that's just a fact.
 

Red Herring

Superwoman
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
7,483
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
If you want stereotypes, INTJs are robots. INTPs are absent-minded professors.

Oh, I was born an absent-minded professor :D

Legend has it my toddler self would put on the right shoe, think, put on the left shoe, think and then take off the right shoe because I had forgotten of I was coming or going. Also asking a lot of questions and treating adults like equals, lol. Apparently I was very precocious (or however you would translate altklug - a Term used for intelligent children who try to sound older and smarter than they are and act like little wannabe-adults)
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
Apparently I was very precocious (or however you would translate altklug - a Term used for intelligent children who try to sound older and smarter than they are and act like little wannabe-adults)
I object to this aspect of your definition. I simply wanted to take part in the conversation and was called 'vorlaut' and 'altklug' for it.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I object to these parts. I simply wanted to take part in the conversation and was called 'vorlaut' and 'altklug' for it.

you kindergarten-zeitgeist-eigenform ! :D Ok that made no sense.

To the op: judging from the way you speak and from my experience in the past, you strike me as a young intj female.

I guess key to being a T female is to not isolate oneself from the rest of people just because one thinks one is different. Same applies for F males. the T and F inclination being more maleish or femaleish is just a society made-up thing and one should try to look at it objectively and not get dragged into the superficial society that measures femininty with new Botox lips.
 

Red Herring

Superwoman
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
7,483
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Altklugheit

Als altklug (Adjektiv) (auch Altklugheit) bezeichnet der allgemeine Sprachgebrauch eine angeblich frühreife, manchmal auch vorlaute Äußerung eines Kindes oder eines Jugendlichen.[1] Das nicht steigerbare Adjektiv gilt, gegenüber dem Kind selbst ausgesprochen, als die milde Form eines Tadels, da dessen Meinungsäußerungen oder auch Charakterzüge lediglich klug erscheinen, etwa, weil es dafür noch gar nicht genug Welt- und Lebenskenntnis haben könne. Der Tadel kann dann Hochbegabte ebenso wie Nachplapperer oder Blender treffen.

Die Bezeichnung „altklug“ kann sich beziehen auf

die allgemeine Erscheinung, das Gehabe eines Kindes, das scheinbar klüger ist als es seinem Alter entspricht[2]
bestimmte Antworten
Blicke, die aufgrund Situationen oder Reden erfolgen

Zitat
Thomas Mann bezeichnete die Altklugheit in seinem Werk Buddenbrooks als „unkindliche Klugheit“, als „jenes ernsthafte Gefühl vorzeitiger Erfahrenheit ... das man Altklugheit nennt.“

I think it can apply both to truely mature children and wannabes and do agree that it can be a comfortable and lazy reaction to exclude them from conversation or put them in their place.
 

animenagai

New member
Joined
Aug 22, 2008
Messages
1,569
MBTI Type
NeFi
Enneagram
4w3
I think there has been way too much made out of INT's ability or inability to have emotions. There are INTJ's for example on this forum who say they hardly feel anything at all and others who say that they are emotional but keep it inside.Truthfully I don'tt hink MBTI has much to do with how emotional you are at all. Enneagram is a better system in terms of describing someone's emotional/unemotional tendancies.
 
Top