Well lol, there are asshles everywhere. I will say, that it is easier to be forceful through a computer screen. Imagine the effect on someone who has been physically and emotionally dominated in the outside world for most of their lives. The internet is their kingdom. I tend to think it's a specific type of INTJ that is responsible for this, but there are plenty of other types guilty of this. Lots of ISFPs, some immature INTPs, ENTPs, ENTJs, plenty of SF types who are easily triggered into an argument.
Yeah, this is a funny one. It makes more sense if you think in terms of the internet being full of INxx more than anything else. Compared with INTP, INFP, and INFJ, we INTJs are intellectual bullies who are way too forceful in our discussion of topics. Compared with Te and Fe doms, and type 8 Enneagram, INTJs are quite timid.
Not agreeing with someone isn't a conflict though and I think most people tend to see hostility as aggression. If conflict is aggression, then why would one of the most introverted types be seen as the most hostile? Perhaps we are being misrepresented by other types.
What a lot of people describe as INTJs “not listening” is more aptly described as “disagreeing.” Their problem isn’t that you aren’t listening, their problem is that you don’t agree with them, and that makes them FEEL like you aren’t listening, because of course if you were really listening, then you’d agree. Or at least not keep on telling them that they’re wrong. The INxP thinks you're wrong "because Ne", and the INFJ think's you're wrong "because Fe", and you keep on "ignoring" all their Ne and/or Fe points.
I see a lot of this with various types, usually J types, but certainly other types trying to mimic that. I actually find that the worst culprits are those that aren't Js and are trying to put on a facade that they are. Mr Tough Guy in the youtube comment section, for example. A healthy and reasonably intelligent INTJ should understand the importance of tact, the shame of looking like a fool, and patience.
Again, I'm sure many unhealthy INTJs don't quite understand these things and have started plenty of pointless arguments with people. But to stereotype that it is an "INTJ problem," is just silly. This is a human problem.
Appear and actually being are certainly two seperate things. This is in the eye of the beholder. An INTJ would see a pompous ESFP bragging about their conquests as extremely self absorbed. So who is the most self absorbed here? Neither because they misunderstand each other? Both because they are both self absorbed? The ESFP? The INTJ? I believe an outsider would see both as possessing these qualities, but I imagine the braggart more so.
Again, very apt. I will say, however, that INTJs will appear to be much more self-absorbed in this regard because they don’t connect to the very common Si (INxP tertiary) and Fe (INFJ auxiliary, INTP inferior) patterns that most of society uses.
Interesting, I'd like to hear more of this.
This also maps to “not listening” and “dismissing what others have to say”, because we INTJs have to figure out how things work from first principles, as society doesn’t use our patterns of thinking.
This is true, but I don't think this necessarily leads to conflict. I see it as leading more to introversion and possibly shutting one's self away.
An INTJ hears the Si and Fe patterns as "just so" stories. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just_So_Stories
) To the INTJ mind, at first we accept those explanations as children, but we learn over time that they don't work for us. We then start figuring out how the world works in our terms of thinking, which tends to remove the Si and Fe patterns of reasoning and replaces them with Ni and Te patterns of reasoning. Having done so, we then learn that very few people understand what we've figured out, in part because it is too abstract to fit into Si patterns, and in part because it is too strictly objective to fit into Fe patterns.