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Thread: Common INTJ Issues

  1. #21
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    It turns out that it is common that:

    INTJs have issues.
    Others have issues.
    Some people have issues with INTJs.

    Who would have thought it?

    An insightful thread.

  2. #22
    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    I probably wasn’t very clear with that statement, I apologize.

    If this is the MO, people pick up on this, and reflect it back. The INTJ then has a choice about whether to declare that everyone else is the problem in this scenario, or whether they are the common denominator and perhaps it is their approach that needs refinement.

    INTJs have a very unique process and perspective as well as a natural and in many ways admirable ability for detachment, and therefore it’s not unlikely that they will be misunderstood a great deal of the time. When talking about people’s reactions, it isn’t intended that people will be warm, fuzzy and “get” them all the time. But if people are consistently running away, avoiding, hostile, or completely checking out in the presence of the INTJ, this is useful information for them to take into consideration in development.
    No need to apologize. I just always prickle a bit when someone mentions using reactions of others as a yardstick for our own development or personal qualities. I don't object in principle, and find the infrequent feedback I do get can be useful; I just get so little of it. Can I assume, then, that if I am not seeing the kind of negative behavior you list (avoidance, hostility, checking-out) that I am probably doing OK???

    I knew an INFP awhile ago who seemed unable or unwilling to recognize that she was the common denominator in the many life situations she frequently complained about: job, neighbors, local area, etc. She would find another job, move to another city, but things never seemed to improve. Of course the only thing that was a constant was herself.
    A cry of defiance, and not of fear,
    A voice in the darkness, a knock at the door, and a word that shall echo for evermore!
    For, borne on the night-wind of the Past, through all our history, to the last,
    In the hour of darkness and peril and need, the people will waken and listen to hear

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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    No need to apologize. I just always prickle a bit when someone mentions using reactions of others as a yardstick for our own development or personal qualities. I don't object in principle, and find the infrequent feedback I do get can be useful; I just get so little of it. Can I assume, then, that if I am not seeing the kind of negative behavior you list (avoidance, hostility, checking-out) that I am probably doing OK???
    I think it is just one tool for assessment. There are lots of other indicators and ways of quantifying and quantifying development, of course.

    Personally, just going by your posts, which I've always found very enjoyable to read, I'd say you have little to worry about in that area.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I knew an INFP awhile ago who seemed unable or unwilling to recognize that she was the common denominator in the many life situations she frequently complained about: job, neighbors, local area, etc. She would find another job, move to another city, but things never seemed to improve. Of course the only thing that was a constant was herself.
    Yes, INFPs can absolutely be prone to this as well. The FiNeSiTe mind can remain woefully mired in preoccupation with self and create self-serving and reinforcing paradigms if no effort is put into growth, or worse, individual choices in reaction to event/environment opt towards regression.

  4. #24
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    i am actually very biased towards INTJs, my father and a few of my best friends growing up where INTJs... still, i'll try, and please keep in mind that this is based on the INTJs closest to me and not derived form known INTJ cognitive tendencies, and thus might not be applicable as generalizations.

    • can be very devoted to their passions while being very negligent with aspects of themselves, their health and their own well being, which is a big problem considering how much pressure they can sometimes take out of situations. i wonder if a higher percentage of INTJs die of heart atacks and high blood pressure...
    • can be exceptionally dodgy after making mistakes in their conclusions and reframe it as - and this is a notion that i have noticed repeatedly and still find amusing - "the knowledge's fault" - the knowledge they got of the situation was vague or a few pieces of it where distracting, the framing wasn't clear, it wasn't built up in their minds in an obvious enough way, the needed presumption wasn't on the wall, etc'.
    • humor is often limited to "secret languages" with those closed to them. i think this might be a way INTJs use to strenghen bonds but perhaps unaware of the social affect, when an INTJ jokes with me on something that only i would get but they aren't aware of how rude it would be to everyone else if i'd let myself laugh out loud

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    Default "Common" INTJ Issues??

    Extroverted Feelers usually complain that I never talk about how I feel.

    Introverted Sensors usually complain that I'm non-traditional.

    So I guess it depends on who you ask.
    "It is empty and meaningless that it is empty and meaningless".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Riva View Post
    Have found that INTJs are REALLY good at reading intentions of others' actions but aren't good at READING the feelings of others.
    my INTJ friend is quite often baffled by why people do the things they do, so i guess the reading intention isnt an INTJ thing, but something that INTJs are can be good or bad at like other types
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    my INTJ friend is quite often baffled by why people do the things they do, so i guess the reading intention isnt an INTJ thing, but something that INTJs are can be good or bad at like other types
    My friend, I think by intentions the above poster meant honest/dishonest, good/bad. Not the logical course of action; we all know that many actions are not intentional but mere serendipity.

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    Quote Originally Posted by exact View Post
    My friend, I think by intentions the above poster meant honest/dishonest, good/bad. Not the logical course of action; we all know that many actions are not intentional but mere serendipity.
    intention = reason. reason is the logical course of action, which naturally includes the good/bad etc things, at least if you simplify it to those.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    intention = reason. reason is the logical course of action, which naturally includes the good/bad etc things, at least if you simplify it to those.
    Oh hush, stop being silly and re-inventing language as you go.

    Accept that sometimes the good people of the public might have a point.

    It would make you look dignified to do so.

    Like my exceptional tie.

    <----[Exceptional Tie]

    Note: you also have a very correct point; INTJs do not tend to understand 'why' people do things; its a foreign concept through their looking glass. Kudos for that apt summary.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by exact View Post
    Oh hush, stop being silly and re-inventing language as you go.

    Accept that sometimes the good people of the public might have a point.
    apparently you disagree with analyzing intention being the same thing as figuring out why someone behaves the way they do. could you give an example where the intention of someone is different from the reason why he does what he does? i cant figure out any examples, but it might be because im bit tired
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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