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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    No, it comes from the combination of functions. Ni makes us feel certain of the undesirable outcome, once we see a preponderance of evidence. Te makes us decisive. In this respect, it is very easy for us to make the decision to downgrade or terminate a relationship, and to follow through on it. It probably looks quite straightforward and absolute to the other person. Inside, however, we can be just as hurt by the outcome as the other person, though we will not let on about that, and will certainly not let it stop us. This is essentially what happened between myself and my ex, when our relationship ended.
    Bingo! This is the story of my last relationship (with an ENFP). As far as he was concerned we could just keep on going, no end in mind, just let it be regardless. In reality the relationship had ended for me when I put two and two together and realised that a combination of immaturity, circumstance and plain old incompatibility were going to end this anyway. Why wait for the inevitable? In short, no common goals, no end in sight = why bother at all. Better to cut loose and have a chance at something than hold onto nothing. Doesn't mean I didn't grieve, cry 'why me' and all the rest of it. I surely did. But as far as he's aware I ended it....just like that. Without looking back.

    I am always quick, certain and precise when ending relationships [publicly], privately however it takes me a while to be comfortable with the decision I knew was inevitable. I probably still rank as one of the coldest people he's ever met. Torment for the INTJ is a private matter that few people ever see.

  2. #92
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    So the question I was leading up to for INTJ's was: if this happened, this scenario of the other person not putting in enough effort and you "dropping" them, Would you give them another chance if they made it up to you??<---like with A LOT of effort...lets just say they still wanted to be your friend/lova badly enough to communicate with a grand gesture or something of the sort.
    What's a grand gesture got to do with it? They have to demonstrate they know the mechanism of the failure. That's what re-opens potential. Or adds a layer of tragedy.

    Why would any NTJ put romance ahead of destined mechanism?
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  3. #93
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    What's a grand gesture got to do with it? They have to demonstrate they know the mechanism of the failure. That's what re-opens potential. Or adds a layer of tragedy.

    Why would any NTJ put romance ahead of destined mechanism?
    in reference to the bold...I'm just trying to break down what you mean exactly. Are you saying that the other person needs to show that they understand why the relationship is failing, and that they want to fix it, and can fix it?
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
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  4. #94
    ¤ Zarathustra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    So the question I was leading up to for INTJ's was: if this happened, this scenario of the other person not putting in enough effort and you "dropping" them, Would you give them another chance if they made it up to you??<---like with A LOT of effort...lets just say they still wanted to be your friend/lova badly enough to communicate with a grand gesture or something of the sort.
    That would be A LOT of blow jobs.
    The Justice Fighter

    INTJ - 6w5 8dw 3w4 sx/so - Neutral Good

    "I trust what you are doing though…I just see it a little differently.
    I don’t see it as you stepping away from the fire. I see it as the fire directing your course.
    No matter how airy or earthy or watery you become... to many of us you will always be...a super nova."

    "Behind these gates of seeming warmth sits, loosely chained, a fierce attack dog. Perhaps not crazy, but dangerous"

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  5. #95
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    That would be A LOT of blow jobs.
    HA HA! nice.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

  6. #96
    ¤ Zarathustra's Avatar
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    ^ ENFP
    The Justice Fighter

    INTJ - 6w5 8dw 3w4 sx/so - Neutral Good

    "I trust what you are doing though…I just see it a little differently.
    I don’t see it as you stepping away from the fire. I see it as the fire directing your course.
    No matter how airy or earthy or watery you become... to many of us you will always be...a super nova."

    "Behind these gates of seeming warmth sits, loosely chained, a fierce attack dog. Perhaps not crazy, but dangerous"

    The Aggressive 6
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  7. #97
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    in reference to the bold...I'm just trying to break down what you mean exactly. Are you saying that the other person needs to show that they understand why the relationship is failing, and that they want to fix it, and can fix it?
    You don't believe in transformative understanding? Knowledge does not create decision and change?

    I think maybe we can't see each other anymore.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  8. #98
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    it triggers fears and anxieties in traumatised SiFi.
    This part made me laugh for some reason.

    Common issues I have with INTJs is that I generally can't stand them and they get obsessed with ( trying to dominate ) me.

    It has become an almost laughably common dynamic.

    I suppose because I tend to find them baffling and/or detestable, I haven't bothered to learn much about them beyond that. I have been told I have the death stare myself though, so I don't think this is a uniquely INTJ trait.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  9. #99
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Urarienev View Post
    So the question I was leading up to for INTJ's was: if this happened, this scenario of the other person not putting in enough effort and you "dropping" them, Would you give them another chance if they made it up to you??<---like with A LOT of effort...lets just say they still wanted to be your friend/lova badly enough to communicate with a grand gesture or something of the sort.


    Or is it one of those things where the person says...once a liar always a liar...if you get what i mean?
    I believe people have the capacity to change, so will generally give people a second chance. As Kalach wrote, though, the have to show that they understand what the problem was. They need to have a plan to correct it that is based on reason (not just empty promises), and appear to have the determination to act on it. This will get them back on probation for awhile, and if they make good on their intentions, back into my good graces. If this fails, however, third and subsequent chances are almost nonexistent.

    Quote Originally Posted by Salomé View Post
    Common issues I have with INTJs is that I generally can't stand them and they get obsessed with (trying to dominate) me.
    You are reading into this motivations that are not (always) there; or perhaps it is just some odd sort of wishful thinking. INTJs can be very opinionated, and forthcoming about speaking our minds. We refuse to be dominated, but that does not equate to a desire to dominate others. (That is more ENTJ, but only the stereotype.) Some people do mistakenly view the two attitudes as equivalent.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  10. #100
    Unapologetic being Evolving Transparency's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    You don't believe in transformative understanding? Knowledge does not create decision and change?

    I think maybe we can't see each other anymore.
    Ha Ha...your crazy lol

    So I was just trying to figure out how much an INTJ would stick to thier guns...I've never met one so I don't know their reactions. I'm just trying to compare that to the sensors we were talking about earlier...the isfp's I know ...would say no...they would say something like once a "liar always a liar". Or "a tiger never loses thier stripes"...It's good to know I have something in common with INTJ's then lol.


    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I believe people have the capacity to change, so will generally give people a second chance. As Kalach wrote, though, the have to show that they understand what the problem was. They need to have a plan to correct it that is based on reason (not just empty promises), and appear to have the determination to act on it. This will get them back on probation for awhile, and if they make good on their intentions, back into my good graces. If this fails, however, third and subsequent chances are almost nonexistent.


    You are reading into this motivations that are not (always) there; or perhaps it is just some odd sort of wishful thinking. INTJs can be very opinionated, and forthcoming about speaking our minds. We refuse to be dominated, but that does not equate to a desire to dominate others. (That is more ENTJ, but only the stereotype.) Some people do mistakenly view the two attitudes as equivalent.
    Regarding the first paragraph bolded, good to know I love this kinda information

    And the second paragraph in bold, thanks for mentioning that
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
    10w12

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