User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 43

  1. #31
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    The world would be an even sadder place if we were chained to everything we once thought or said.

    What a glorious friendship it must be to be involved with those who keep meticulous track of all that is said and done so that it can be used as a weapon and evidence of guilt.
    You know, you said the EXACT same thing on January 23, 2011, at 3:41pm EST, but just using 32 words instead of 36. (don't blame me. It's your fault.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #32
    Society
    Guest

    Default

    it depends who i am talking too.

    if its someone i feel a certain level of intimacy with - the capacity to share my raw thoughts and emotions with as i go along - i am more likely say 'never' based on what i feel at the time, because i trust that they understand where its coming from - its not a decision, its an expression of fear, i am afraid of letting myself do something - i am afraid of talking to her right now, i am afraid of putting myself out there right now, i am afraid of what might happen if i get drunk out of my senses because of what happened last time, i am afraid of letting myself fall inlove with someone right now... but fears are something that i usually overcome.

    and like @Jennifer said - something might not make sense to me at a given time, but will at a future point. i can say "there's so much dirt on me to be dug up that i don't see myself ever getting into politics", but then someone with more dirt then me out in the open gets elected, and the world has changed, so why wouldn't my conclusion?

    and i think that's the key here - @Ness - as a P type, my choices aren't decisions, they are conclusions about what is the best course of action based on the information i have and what i can come up with at the time (which is also dependent on my emotional state). i'm not telling you i have decided to never do it, i am concluding that i don't think i will, but the reality on which my conclusion is based on can change at any given moment, and my conclusion will change with that. if the reason i made my choice changes, so will my choice.

  3. #33
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    You know, you said the EXACT same thing on January 23, 2011, at 3:41pm EST, but just using 32 words instead of 36.
    Sigh. I KNEW you were keeping track!! I KNEW it!!



    The older I get, the less pithy I get as well. ~3 months and I added 4 words. In 3 years I will be writing page after page of text like an INTP.

  4. #34
    Anew Leaf
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Well, re the story...she'd been engaged to E, the guy who died. They'd broken it off for various reasons but there were still feelings. He died in an accident (he'd also tried to commit suicide when she broke up with him). She sort of went back to "he's the love of my life and I will stay faithful to his memory forever"...which honestly, in that kind of emotionally charged situation I can well understand. But unfortunately she did kind of flounce over to someone new. She'd met the new guy for about a week, a month before E died, though they were supposed to be just friends. They were in touch by Skype a lot immediately after, then saw each other for another ten days or so a few months later, then a couple of months after that she went out to his country and married him. (She wasn't open with any of her friends about this so although I had a feeling something was up, the official story was that she was just friends with the new guy.) So she was not "involved" with him at all before E died, in fact she barely knew him. So I heard the "just like E, but better!" stuff after she'd married the new guy and E was several months dead. It just seemed very worrying and unhealthy as well as massively impetuous. I would have felt more understanding and less freaked out/possibly judgmental if a year or two later she'd met someone new. It was the sort of instant rebound thing. I can understand the "never be happy again" reaction in the face of intense tragedy and grief. But moving on so quickly, I don't know. It freaked me out in so many ways.

    And yeah. I hear what you say, the intent of the thread has changed a bit. I am speaking partly out of a bit of unfortunate personal experience with an xNFP or three being massively emotionally impetuous, and saying things like "never" quite a lot. I realise it's not necessarily an overall trend. Like I said, I think any type can be flaky (being flexible is good, but routinely letting others down or "crying wolf" is flaky, from my perspective.)
    As we are all to realize that this is not necessarily an overall trend either.

  5. #35
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    511

    Default

    In response to the OP, I rarely say never, or always, for that matter. I don't feel think they are generally realistic to use in terms of human behavior, whether my own or others'.
    I have long since stopped taking my friends' "never" seriously or personally. There are exceptions but so seldom.
    For myself, it is just very difficult not to leave room for new information, circumstances, and the possibility of mistake.
    "It's never enough." The Cure

  6. #36
    NPcomplete
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by NotOfTwo View Post
    In response to the OP, I rarely say never, or always, for that matter. I don't feel think they are generally realistic to use in terms of human behavior, whether my own or others'.
    I have long since stopped taking my friends' "never" seriously or personally. There are exceptions but so seldom.
    For myself, it is just very difficult not to leave room for new information, circumstances, and the possibility of mistake.
    I relate to this a lot.

    Things, generally, aren't definite in my books and as such, I try to avoid the use of "never", "always" and other terms of a similar nature when unsure. I usually don't expect the same behaviour from others though (haha) so I don't consider their use of the terms as particularly "binding". That said, it's nice when they stick to their words but if they don't, they probably have a reason behind that decision.

    It's all a learning process in the end.

  7. #37
    garbage
    Guest

    Default

    Ah, yeah. Our emotions tend to trigger us to extremes (out of defense, etc.), and out of those tend to come extreme words such as "never" or "always." In reality, we can't expect one another to avoid devastating situations that in turn trigger those emotions, and we can't expect complete emotional control, and so we've gotta have a reasonable amount of leeway for one another.

    I don't expect someone in a crisis situation to be held to their 'end conclusions.' But I do sort of prefer people to avoid delving into extremes all the time--it points to a lack of emotional control/understanding. Then again, after a while, I try to draw patterns and tease out what exactly a person means by extreme words--whether or not they actually 'mean' them, or what exactly they mean by them, and take them with a grain of salt or take them at their word.

    People communicate in different ways, and I can't reasonably expect them to communicate in my way. So...
    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    IRL I routinely get told that I am [too] easy-going and flex [too much] for others, and that I need to look after my own rights and my own boundaries and decisions more than those of others. I think I do the flexing/easy-going thing for a long time but eventually there is a brick wall. And people are shocked because up till then they think I'll put up with anything and accept any decisions that others make and go along with whatever they say. You really can't win.
    ... like @SilkRoad, I feel like I tend to be the one to flex to others or to reach out to them in communication, despite having my own preferences for how to communicate. After all, if we're not on the same page, then neither of our ideas can be communicated properly; since that's a priority for me, well, I flex.

    I think that the way to solve the whole "I give and give and give and then suddenly put up a brick wall and that surprises people" thing is to either gradually ease others into your expectations or set them upfront in a "take it or leave it" sort of way. I prefer the former approach myself; others prefer the latter as it doesn't 'waste time.'

  8. #38
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,933

    Default

    I believe there are gender differences in this case.
    When a woman says ''no'' she means ''maybe''.
    When a woman says ''maybe'' she means ''yes''.
    And brotha, if a woman ever reply ''yes'', you'd better run because something is wrong. :horor:
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  9. #39
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

  10. #40
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    3,939

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    it does sound like a rebound to me. I mean, it's understandable that she was devastated and connected with this guy in that time when she had a big void in her life... but marrying him and doing it in secrecy suggests she knew it was questionable and that perhaps she was just trying to use him as a substitute for her dead fiance but just didn't want to deal with any kind of challenges to her decision at the time. I hope things worked out for her.
    Well, hard to say at this point. It's been over a year and they're still married, but he can't as yet get a visa to live over here (very complicated), she got pregnant with twins on a visit to see him, she was already in lousy financial straits (and supporting him over there) and not great health and...yeah.

    It's pretty terrifying for anyone who is even friends with her, so I admire her for keeping it together so far, as it is hard to imagine what it is like for HER. I would be beyond overwhelmed - which I think she is actually but putting up a brave front.
    Female
    INFJ
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


    I DOORSLAMMING

Similar Threads

  1. [Enne] What does it really mean to be a 2?
    By themightyfetus in forum Enneagram
    Replies: 46
    Last Post: 02-06-2016, 05:40 AM
  2. What does black history month really mean?
    By iNtrovert in forum Politics, History, and Current Events
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 02-20-2014, 04:38 AM
  3. What does it really mean to be Fi-dom?
    By Stansmith in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-13-2013, 10:09 PM
  4. [INFJ] What does your word mean?
    By nightning in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 09-02-2009, 09:34 PM
  5. What Does this Picture Mean?
    By Helfeather in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 09-28-2007, 08:19 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO