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  1. #11
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It's possible that "never" for an INTP means, "That makes no sense, so I would never do it." But then new information could come along which could change the rational landscape of the situation, which now means "never" is not conclusive..
    This is accurate for me, too. Never won't change because I randomly change my mind, but it might change if the situation changes in ways I failed to predict/expect.
    -end of thread-

  2. #12
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    I try to mean "never" when I say "never." So I rarely say "never" and stick with "probably never, unless there's some very convincing evidence that suggests that I should"--and I always keep this in mind when I talk to myself. There's pretty much an asterisk behind every 'certainty,' and the footnote is usually sort of nebulous. I'm okay with that.

    Then again, "99% sure" is probably "never" enough--that is, for all intents and purposes, it may essentially mean never. Whatever.

    If you're saying "never" or "always" a lot and continually changing your mind, though.. well, you should reevaluate how you form alleged absolutes and whether you come across as flaky to other people.

  3. #13
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    I guess I should clarify too that I don't even remember the last time I've used the word "never."
    I just don't use it.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #14
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    I think if you back an intp into a corner they'll go into emotional backlash mode. Once they calm down they'll see reason, but at least one of my best friends -will not- apologize. This causes us to drift apart for months until both of us forget about the incident. The worst part is you don't even REALIZE you are emotionally backing them into a corner because they don't tell you

  5. #15
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Am I stupid to put so much weight on what people say? Is it just overly high expectations?

    It's partly nurture, too. I grew up in a family where people seldom said things they didn't mean - if they weren't sure about something they usually kept their mouths shut, unless it was a fight/anger situation (which did happen) - and if someone said it was a done deal...it was a done deal.
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  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I guess I should clarify too that I don't even remember the last time I've used the word "never."
    I just don't use it.
    Never?

  7. #17
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Am I stupid to put so much weight on what people say? Is it just overly high expectations?

    It's partly nurture, too. I grew up in a family where people seldom said things they didn't mean - if they weren't sure about something they usually kept their mouths shut, unless it was a fight/anger situation (which did happen) - and if someone said it was a done deal...it was a done deal.
    Yeah, some people probably just grow up using dramatic language and might not mean things as strongly as they say them.

    I tend to be a lot more hedging most of the time (....see? that was actually unintentional ). I think the place I'm most likely to use never is when an absolute is especially helpful, whether or not it's strictly true - as in "I will never, ever go out with you" - because I've learned that some people will fixate on any tiny ray of hope you give them, and that needs to be squashed before it causes problems!

    But you can't predict the future. Avoiding saying it at all would be my preference, but once you do, I'd say it's better to respond best to a new situation rather than sticking to an arbitrary rule.
    -end of thread-

  8. #18
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    Never?
    Rarely.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Am I stupid to put so much weight on what people say? Is it just overly high expectations?

    It's partly nurture, too. I grew up in a family where people seldom said things they didn't mean - if they weren't sure about something they usually kept their mouths shut, unless it was a fight/anger situation (which did happen) - and if someone said it was a done deal...it was a done deal.
    yep same for me. life has taught me that somtimes some people say what they don't mean and say never and then things pan out diffrently, but they will say it anyway. so when they say it, it puts the fear in me, because when i say it I mean it. some people say it and mean it at the time and then change their mind. WELL NEWS PEOPLE what you said when you said NEVER was BS cos your doing/ wanting to do what you 'never' said you would now!!!

  10. #20
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    The world would be an even sadder place if we were chained to everything we once thought or said.

    What a glorious friendship it must be to be involved with those who keep meticulous track of all that is said and done so that it can be used as a weapon and evidence of guilt.

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