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  1. #1

    Default INTJs and their blank stares

    I was talking to my cousin one day (who I believe to be INTJ) and I brought up the topic of dreams and possible theories related to them. Instead of responding with his own opinion (like most of my nf friends do), he simply gave me this blank stare which I found to be highly offensive. My ESFP dad relieved the awkward silence with a more down-to-earth topic and he went right back to normal. He is a witty, jobless, computer expert who seems to have no opinion on anything at all (he can't even tell me what music he enjoys). Why the heck did this happen and how can I avoid it next time?
    INFP 5w4 sp/sx
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  2. #2
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xpersephonex View Post
    I was talking to my cousin one day (who I believe to be INTJ) and I brought up the topic of dreams and possible theories related to them. Instead of responding with his own opinion (like most of my nf friends do), he simply gave me this blank stare which I found to be highly offensive. My ESFP dad relieved the awkward silence with a more down-to-earth topic and he went right back to normal. He is a witty, jobless, computer expert who seems to have no opinion on anything at all (he can't even tell me what music he enjoys). Why the heck did this happen and how can I avoid it next time?
    What's so offensive about a blank stare?

    Perhaps he didn't understand your question, or some part of it, or didn't know how to respond.
    Just one possibility.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  3. #3

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    I tried elaborating several times, but he just continued to sit there in silence and look at me as if I was a complete moron with no brain.
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  4. #4
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by xpersephonex View Post
    I was talking to my cousin one day (who I believe to be INTJ) and I brought up the topic of dreams and possible theories related to them. Instead of responding with his own opinion (like most of my nf friends do), he simply gave me this blank stare which I found to be highly offensive. My ESFP dad relieved the awkward silence with a more down-to-earth topic and he went right back to normal. He is a witty, jobless, computer expert who seems to have no opinion on anything at all (he can't even tell me what music he enjoys). Why the heck did this happen and how can I avoid it next time?
    I wouldn't jump to conclusions too easily. Perhaps he was just lost in thought.

    Or he just doesn't care to answer that question because he deems it nonsense. I find many INTJs will ignore a question rather than waste time answering it.

  5. #5
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xpersephonex View Post
    I tried elaborating several times, but he just continued to sit there in silence and look at me as if I was a complete moron with no brain.
    Are you positive that's what he was thinking, or were you just worried that's what he was thinking?
    Sometimes they'll kind of freeze up, like it's best not to, say anything at all. It can be awkward and confusing.
    If you were concerned about it, why not ask him why he was giving you a blank expression as a response?
    Is that difficult?
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  6. #6
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    I've had strangers tell me before that they thought I hated them because of this, but I think that it's a common misunderstanding with INTJs. I think that our blank expression can either make people think that we're looking through them, or that we're looking at them like they are some kind of specimen to be studied, but this isn't normally intentional. It's really just a natural expression when we're lost in thought. It's more like, our eyes are looking at you, but our thoughts have retreated inwards.

    Sometimes we are just very detached and people get an incorrect impression.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    I've had strangers tell me before that they thought I hated them because of this, but I think that it's a common misunderstanding with INTJs. I think that our blank expression can either make people think that we're looking through them, or that we're looking at them like they are some kind of specimen to be studied, but this isn't normally intentional. It's really just a natural expression when we're lost in thought. It's more like, our eyes are looking at you, but our thoughts have retreated inwards.

    Sometimes we are just very detached and people get an incorrect impression.
    yeah, I think this can be true for Ni-doms in general. If I've gone someplace else in my head, I sometimes have people approach me, prodding, ''what's wrong?'' - they apparently interpret the distant, blank sort of expression with something negative, when it's typically neutral.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xpersephonex View Post
    I was talking to my cousin one day (who I believe to be INTJ) and I brought up the topic of dreams and possible theories related to them. Instead of responding with his own opinion (like most of my nf friends do), he simply gave me this blank stare which I found to be highly offensive. My ESFP dad relieved the awkward silence with a more down-to-earth topic and he went right back to normal. He is a witty, jobless, computer expert who seems to have no opinion on anything at all (he can't even tell me what music he enjoys). Why the heck did this happen and how can I avoid it next time?
    INTP.

    You can avoid it by making sense. Sometimes when confronted with nonsense the INTx simply doesn't know where to start. And if you're offended only by a blank stare, maybe it's better he keeps his thoughts to himself, for your sake.



  9. #9

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    Well then why is that almost everything that I say warrants this blank stare? Does that mean almost everything I say is nonsense? Jeez thats a bit harsh...my parents always seem to get off the hook, though I doubt their religious mumbo jumbo is anything but nonsense to INTJ aswell.
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  10. #10

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    However, now that I think on it, my ENTJ uncle does the exact same thing. I think they mirror the other individual and since I come off as cold and aloof so too will they. My parents are the bubbliest and kindest people you will ever meet and he reacts to this in a positive way.
    INFP 5w4 sp/sx
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