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  1. #11
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    “Love never dies of starvation, but often of indigestion”. Ninon de Lenclos (French courtesan)
    this. he won't like being nattered.

    you don't need to submit to his standards though. if you feel you can't handle his communication style you can factor that into your decision making on whether you wish to be with him. perhaps you need someone who is more open/responsive to you? don't just suffer and submit - use this space to think about what you need and do some analysis on whether he measures up to that.

  2. #12
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by In_Love View Post
    My boyfriend is an NT. We have been dating for 14 months. In the past there have been times when I haven't heard from him for a day or two. But this week, other than seeing him on Monday I haven't really heard from him. I called him Tuesday and texted Wednesday with no reply. Then yesterday I texted him and asked if he wanted to have dinner last night but he declined saying things had been busy with work. I completely understand that his job is stressful sometimes. I also know that sometimes NT's need space. But how am I supposed to know what is going on if he doesn't communicate with me? I didn't try calling him last night and never repeatedly call if I call and he doesn't answer, but when is it okay to call with out seeming pushy? He has always told me that if something is bothering him he will tell me, but hasn't said anything.

    I also think I possibly told him that I love him last weekend when we were drinking. If I bring up anything like saying I miss him or what he thinks of our situation all he says is cool. He has yet to say it to me, but does do alot of things for me. I'm not going to assume that that means he loves me, but I know he cares.

    Sorry for this being all over the place, but I guess I just have alot on my mind. I would appreciate any opinions or advice.
    • He's turned off, leave him alone.
    • Lay off the alcohol.
    • Take a step back. Start dating other guys. Do this sooner, than later. You will forget about him.
    • Nobody, male or female, is attracted to neediness or wants to be nagged and forced to respond back a certain way.

  3. #13
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Am I the only one annoyed by this? I get needing time alone and separating yourself from you're mate when needed. But is it that difficult to sy " hey I'm busy. I won't be able to talk for a few days, I'll call you when I fell it is okay to do so?"

    I can only see one doing all of this if they did not want to communicate with the person anymore.

    Jesus. 4 months isnt log. Ditch him.


    Edit: I knew intps would reply. This is a popular problem with this breed.

  4. #14
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    Am I the only one annoyed by this? I get needing time alone and separating yourself from you're mate when needed. But is it that difficult to sy " hey I'm busy. I won't be able to talk for a few days, I'll call you when I fell it is okay to do so?"
    No, but we don't know the whole story. He reminds me of how I act when I am about to end it. He might not love her. I've dated someone for a few months and realized that I didn't love them and couldn't love them the way they loved me. He might not want to hurt her by telling her that. He may be a coward.

  5. #15
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    No, but we don't know the whole story. He reminds me of how I act when I am about to end it. He might not love her. I've dated someone for a few months and realized that I didn't love them and couldn't love them the way they loved me. He might not want to hurt her by telling her that. He may be a coward.
    I stated that in my earlier edit. I agree.



    It seems she isn't aware that anything happened at all to allow for such a distant reaction. She genuinely seems confused as to why he is behaving this way; I don't understand the point of putting up with someone so passive aggressive. Move on ISFP.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    I stated that in my earlier edit. I agree.

    It seems she isn't aware that anything happened at all to allow for such a distant reaction. She genuinely seems confused as to why he is behaving this way; I don't understand the point of putting up with someone so passive aggressive. Move on ISFP.
    Amen.

  7. #17
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    wait, reality check: this is friday. they saw each other on monday. A call monday and a text Wed had no reply, and a text Thurs got the response that he's busy.

    So that's two "flaked replies" in 1 week with one perfectly legit explanation (busy at work). What's with the chorus of DTMFA?? Give it a few weeks to see how it goes when work gets less busy (presumably it will by then). Yes, he could be blowing her off, but he could also likely actually be busy at work.
    -end of thread-

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    wait, reality check: this is friday. they saw each other on monday. A call monday and a text Wed had no reply, and a text Thurs got the response that he's busy.

    So that's two "flaked replies" in 1 week with one perfectly legit explanation (busy at work). What's with the chorus of DTMFA?? Give it a few weeks to see how it goes when work gets less busy (presumably it will by then). Yes, he could be blowing her off, but he could also likely actually be busy at work.
    That's not how relationships work nor is that love. They've been dating for 14-months. When she told him she loved him he said "cool." She said that's all he ever says to her affections.

    She's not happy. Time to throw him back and move on.

  9. #19
    figsfiggyfigs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    wait, reality check: this is friday. they saw each other on monday. A call monday and a text Wed had no reply, and a text Thurs got the response that he's busy.

    So that's two "flaked replies" in 1 week with one perfectly legit explanation (busy at work). What's with the chorus of DTMFA?? Give it a few weeks to see how it goes when work gets less busy (presumably it will by then). Yes, he could be blowing her off, but he could also likely actually be busy at work.
    Wait a few weeks?

  10. #20
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    Wait a few weeks?
    Rather than drop a 1+ year relationship because he doesn't reply to 2 messages during a busy week at work? Not sure why that's a bizarre idea...
    -end of thread-

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