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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I did! It was one of the best things that God allowed to happen to me; after I came out of the emotional period of "why did this happen to me," I seized the day.
    you made an awesome use of it.
    curious: are you generally religious or was it a spiritual period/change following the event (or am i reading too much into the wording)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Touching story. I can relate to some of it. I bet you came out of that stronger.
    I did.

    ...then again there's the fact my ex-wife reminded me of my father, taking Freudian psychology into a really weird direction...

    so... yes, a little fucked up, but stronger

  2. #12
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    ENTPs: how old where you when you had your [first] major existential crisis?
    I was 14. I was in 7th grade middle school in a class with a girl who, at first impression, I disliked a bit. I thought she was a bit arrogant. Then one day she said something to me across the room and I instantly fell this rush come over me and my entire being transformed. I was in love. I fell Hard. What in the heck had happened inside?! was the feeling. I don't even like her. I felt dragged around by my heart for like 5 years in love with this girl. She had a couple boyfriends through the years and I always felt broken hearted. It sucked. The life out of me.

    I lost all direction. I hurt constantly and grew hopelessly to not care about a lot of things I think I would have had I not fallen for her.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  3. #13
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    wow... hope you came out ok.

    for me: 17 - my first crush and rejection lead to pretty much the first moment i had to deal with the fact i had an emotional side... at all really, which brought a lot of emo narcissism and disproportionate angst out of me, and then when i was 18, my father died, my sister and mother needed me, and for the firs time i was not the center of my world, the first time other people where more important to me then... well, me.
    That's terrible. I feel for you. What growth happened inside you having served your mother and sister?..What difference did that make?
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  4. #14

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    As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

    My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career and a family when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?

    I've come to terms with the fact that when we die, that's it...and there's a bit of comfort in that. I don't fear death anymore because of that time in my life. I'd actually go so far as to say I'm a more well-rounded person for it. I value close friendships and showing people I care more than I ever have. I pay attention to those sorts of things more often. As long as I don't over-philosophize, I'm good...and I've mostly channeled that philosophizing energy into science and math, which makes me feel more fulfilled than I could express.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Winds of Thor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

    My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?
    ^^Man, I'm so sorry. I cry for you.
    "..And the eight and final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight."
    'Men are meant to be with women. The rest is perversion and mental illness.'

  6. #16
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    As a kid (around 8 or 9) I remember I was sitting watching TV one Saturday morning and all of a sudden I got it into my head that "holy shit, in a few short years I won't be a kid anymore and life is just going to get harder and more complicated and here I am wasting away my childhood watching crap on TV." So I turned it off and went outside to play. I remember this moment really vividly because I was so manic about it. My future was flashing before my eyes and it was bleak...so bleak.

    My BIG existential crisis (and subsequent depression) came two years ago when I was 20 and got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. For a while, because of the state of my body, the most I could do was to just lay in bed all day, sleeping and thinking. I thought about death and the nothingness after death a lot. I thought about how my disease has shortened my average life-span considerably. I thought about the futility of pursuing a career and a family when I was just going to die young. But really I just thought about how meaningless life is. And I still think about it sometimes, but it no longer makes me depressed. Mainly because I've found something I really love to do, but also because life isn't about "finding meaning" - there's no meaning to find. The less I stop trying to look for the meaning, the happier I am - and really, what more can I do with my existence than to try and be happy despite how crappy everything (usually) is?

    I've come to terms with the fact that when we die, that's it...and there's a bit of comfort in that. I don't fear death anymore because of that time in my life. I'd actually go so far as to say I'm a more well-rounded person for it. I value close friendships and showing people I care more than I ever have. I pay attention to those sorts of things more often. As long as I don't over-philosophize, I'm good...and I've mostly channeled that philosophizing energy into science and math, which makes me feel more fulfilled than I could express.
    You're so brave. I'm sorry that you have this disease, but it seems this difficulty contributed to make the mature and humble woman you are.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    That's terrible. I feel for you.
    first of all - i am 27 so that stuff happened 9 years ago... any pain and grief left is dealt with in a way that isn't separable from my personality or who i am, your scars become part of your face and you forget that they are scars. since i am not experiencing it as pain and grief on any regular basis in a raw form regarding this, it doesn't provide much of a reason to feel for me right now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Avatar7 View Post
    What growth happened inside you having served your mother and sister?..What difference did that make?
    its a huge part of what made me who i am., honestly i have no idea how to actually summarize that into a few lines and it would take me the entire weekend of none stop writing to even start describing it... so just a little (in little fonts so it won't take over the thread):

    like i said, other people became more important to me then me, that was the point i started seen my mother as.. well, a person, i had nobody to blame for anything anymore and couldn't afford being a brat, and generally it was a wake up call on many levels, gave me a sense of proportions, simply having a responsibility i can't run away from or dodge was completely new to me, and ironically it also made me more self involved in some ways, because the sense of surprise at the fact i wasn't only ok with it but flourished under it was key to the curiousity leading to developing my self awareness and inner exploration (possibly i wasn't a type 4 before that), not to mention having my father's property development company on my head which already had the investment in it but wasn't even off the ground when he died, the whole thing was his one man show... and don't get me wrong, this isn't some boy genius story with a born-in business degree, i was a stupid 18 years old with no experience who was way over his head and made countless mistakes, i got scammed, ripped off, the company even faced legal charges for awhile, but the thing is pulled through, and within two years the company was running like a well oiled machine with a few specialized outside contracts aiding me, and nearly nothing for the CEO to do - enough for my mother to handle the point she started recovering, which was just about as long as the army was willing to wait before they drafted me. just from that side, i gained the confidence that no matter what happens i can always get on my feet, i can always figure things out, solve any problem or overcome it's consequences, i became more optimistic then a cynic, and extremely secure in my competence. with my little sister who was 7 at the time my father died things where a little bit more difficult, i was a hybrid brother-father and not really ready then for the later, and i really screwed up in dealing with her tween years by not knowing when to be her friend and when to be an authority figure, but all of that gave me a lot of the experience for when i would become a father and fall for a single mother years later (who three months ago became my ex-wife but that's besides the point). i can go on and on about the whole thing...

  8. #18
    Senior Member Rhapsody's Avatar
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    Okay, so I am not an ENTP, but my best friend from high school is an ENTP and she had her major existential crisis at age 16. Like some of the other posters in this thread, hers was triggered by a) getting her heart broken by a significant other (probably the first boy she ever really fell for) and b) realizing she was living for everyone around her but not for herself. At the time it happened it sent her spiraling into a crippling depression, but she's definitely a much stronger (and I'd say happier) person now because of it.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mane View Post
    you made an awesome use of it.
    Thx.

    curious: are you generally religious or was it a spiritual period/change following the event
    Spiritual.

    (or am i reading too much into the wording)?
    No, you're not reading too much into it. You're close. I just don't feel comfortable talking about all of it now.

    I did.

    ...then again there's the fact my ex-wife reminded me of my father, taking Freudian psychology into a really weird direction...

    so... yes, a little fucked up, but stronger
    Funny. Did you admire your father?

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Funny. Did you admire your father?
    very much.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    No, you're not reading too much into it. You're close. I just don't feel comfortable talking about all of it now.
    hmm, i'll try not prompting you to talk about it more then you want too - so instead of an open question i'll just ask whether it was there before or whether the existential crisis a trigger to spiritual seeking (since it was for me, for awhile anyway)....

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