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  1. #21
    A window to the soul
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    I'll do it myself!

    That's not really funny. It's kinda sad actually. Lots of under-burdened people around me.

  2. #22
    Blind Guardian Haven's Avatar
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    It became clear that she wasn't coming back, so I got tired of waiting around and moved on. I'll never be sure though.

    Quote Originally Posted by allegorystory View Post
    That being said, I typically look to have my "me" time away from a relationship, even if it's pretty serious (and especially at the casual stage). I like relationships to enhance my life, not define it. And if I smell codependency at any point, I'm out of there. Pronto.
    I think she held that opinion and it's one I fundamentally disagree with, because you only get out of a relationship what you put into it. It seems like a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. That is, you want the relationship to enhance your life, but you don't want to put any work into it. I don't mean to this this frustration out on you, it's just the notion itself that I'm frustrated with.
    {The Diplomat}
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  3. #23
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I need advice, but I'm not really sure what to ask, so um here

    Do you feel like you're a burden to others? What makes you feel like a burden to others? What makes you not feel like a burden to others?
    Fuck that shit.

    People are only as burdened as they let themselves be.

    If you need to withdraw from the world (is there another way to put it?), when should I leave you alone, and when should I not leave you alone? Or maybe, how do I leave you alone without actually leaving you alone?
    Why the hell do you want to date an NT?
    Leave us alone when you are being an idiot.
    Keep us company when you are being cool (talking theory, science, inventing things, blowing things up).

    Females specifically: Your thoughts on closeness in relationships. Yes? No? How much time apart do you need? Assuming I'll never really understand you, what should I know?
    Closeness, yes. Dependency, no. Time apart? Depends on who I am with and if they partake in my interests. I don't really need alone time, except when I am meditating or cramming.

    But I do need to do what I want to do. With or without you.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  4. #24
    Junior Member Unperson's Avatar
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    Do you feel like you're a burden to others?
    Depends on the others. My mother's family tends to like me more than not, my father's family is antagonistic, but they are just general dickheads and asshats.

    As far as people go, unrelated people, it still depends.

    I think by and large, I'm OK. I do feel like a burden fairly often, but that's probably just insecurity.

    What makes you feel like a burden to others?
    If I want to talk or hang out too often, if they respond poorly or lacking enthusiasm, etc. I would bet a lot of the time it's not "me" so much as them and their own problems and things, I've even been told such, but the thoughts still persist.

    What makes you not feel like a burden to others?
    If the others are acutely interested in that which I have to say, or interested in hanging out, those who listen, and those who seem to appreciate me and my company more often than not. (There are actually quite a few of these people.)

    If you need to withdraw from the world (is there another way to put it?), when should I leave you alone, and when should I not leave you alone?
    When I start listening to music, it's time to stop talking. If I stop talking AND listening at once, it's time to stop talking. If I focus on something else, it's time to stop talking.

    Or maybe, how do I leave you alone without actually leaving you alone?
    I am always open to Facebook messages, MSN messages, AIM messages, or whatever else. Even if I've become antisocial for whatever reason (usually not for long, and not even for good reason), I don't care to type. Actually, sometimes, that is preferred.

    Females specifically: Your thoughts on closeness in relationships. Yes? No?
    If we're talking about relationships which are supposed to be more than platonic, or are expected to be so, I don't know. I feel like I could very easily get smothered within the context of non-platonic relationships. I'm too inexperienced in anything outside of general friendships and sex to really say, per se, what I think about closeness.

    I will say that my best friends I can't get enough of. When I get away from them it's just because I feel like I've been around them too much, but I used to spend about half the week at my best friend's house. He's the best.

    How much time apart do you need?
    I think I'm a lot like an INTP but also a lot different. I need time ranging from a couple hours to a day or two, in regards to certain people. It depends not only on level of enjoyment, but outright level of sociality the other person purveys. It can be tough to match up to the social energies of, for instance, the ESTP, ISTP, or ESFJ.

    Assuming I'll never really understand you, what should I know?
    When I have emotions, which, they're actually becoming more apparent as I age, they're usually down. Other ENTPs I've known have pretty much this same thing where we're rational most of the time but emotions pop up every now and then, usually the negative ones.

    A lot of NTs in general are broken, probably INTPs the most, but I think ENTPs and INTJs share in the brokenness.

  5. #25
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haven View Post
    I think she held that opinion and it's one I fundamentally disagree with, because you only get out of a relationship what you put into it. It seems like a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. That is, you want the relationship to enhance your life, but you don't want to put any work into it. I don't mean to this this frustration out on you, it's just the notion itself that I'm frustrated with.
    I don't think that's what she meant. Most likely, the opposite of the bolded part is true and therein is the crux of the matter.

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