My first post! I am afraid that it's going to be long, since the subject is extremely interesting/important to me - here it goes
I've started reading this discussion as one of the first ones on this forum since for a long time I wasn't sure if I am ENTJ or ENTP (to be honest after billions of tests and reading the descriptions I considered even being ENFP, ENFJ, ESTP and INTJ...). First, I was tested at work (I worked in HR department of a international FMCG corporation) and I was recognized as ENTJ. Then I took some tests by myself and I was still an ENTJ. At work I am very decisive and I work at an extreme pace, so I thought well.. that's who I am. People often are drawn 'under' my leadership, so I thought that this is just another proof. Other: I like discussions, I can easily defend 'both sides' of the conflict etc.
But! Then many doubts started to appear. I'll put it in a form of a list
1. I don't like forcing my decisions on people. I am convincing them. I accept if I fail.
2. I feel uneasy being a leader outside of the workplace. I don't like controlling people. In case of some crisis or emergency though I always become a leader. I am super quick and cool-headed then. But people considering me as their leader on daily basis? Nah.. I prefer freedom.
3. The description of childhood experiences of ENTP, described here and there were so accurate! Yup, I put every machine in our home into pieces. Being 6 years old I built a door-alarm to my room, using Lego parts and 'spider' (the thing you wear on your back that beeps every time you don't keep your back straight), and so on and so on. I was a leader now and then, but I was always a project leader (not an all-the-time-leader). I was like: 'Everybody listens! We'll build a racing-cart. And that is how we'll do it. You do this, you do that.
4. My room is a mess (though you can blindfold me and I'll tell you exactly what is where)
5. When I tell someone to do something, I leave them absolutely free hand how will they do it. I can just teach them what I believe is the smartest way.
ENTJ will feel offended if you do something differently.
6. I have problems working everyday. I create miracles in the last few days before deadline. ('My 'work-joke', as an answer to 'How much time do you need?' is: 'If you'll give me a week I'll do it in a week time, give me a month and I'll do it in a month time. In both cases I'll do it in the last 4 days.' Now everybody knows that it's not a joke... )
So that's how I realized that I am rather an ENTP. I hope it is helpful to whoever wants to find the difference between ENTP and ENTJ.
I also thought that I am maybe an ENFP or ENTJ since there are many (I'll skip the details) traits that would point to that. I also considered being ESTP (since I am very good at convincing people, reading their next move and I LOVE sport - I play soccer every second day ). But I'll quit here, since it's unrelated.
Now, as to some crazy ideas of ENTP being super vicious. I am referring mostly to Sakuraba's posts. It's such a crap.
1. As to revenges: My father is ENFP and my gf is INFJ. From them I've learnt what does it mean to hate somebody (and also to truly love - to balance the equation ). I've never felt it. Sure, I can get angry at someone, but the next day I don't care about it. There are almost no people that I don't like (more people that I don't respect, but that's all NT's problem, I guess ). I've never revenged in my life. It's irrational. I think about something bad that someone did to me, I think about it for couple minutes, should I react and then I am just like, nah.. it doesn't make sense. All the NT's I know act this way. (my workplace is full of NT's, my high school class (specialized in mathematics&physics&computers ) was full of them and I have some in my family.
2. ENTPs being soft.
Ehm... If you read CAREFULLY some of the MBTI/Kiersey/Socionics texts you'll find out that ENTPs are the hardest to be intimidated. You press they press back. You cannot force ENTP to do anything (sometimes I wish, it would be possible, but no...). We have a saying in Poland: 'He froze off his ears just to make his mother angry' and I am sure it was some ENTP whose mother invented it. I was attending the worst primary school possible with criminals, drug dealers etc., being the smallest kid in the class and yet nobody wanted to do me anything wrong since I was known for never giving up (in fights etc.). It's all about dealing with crisis ability. We look like laid back, non-harmful people (who we are!), but attacked or in case of any crisis we have this amazing boost of energy, courage etc.
All right, time to go to work. I respect every person who got through my whole post!!
All the best!