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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    Reading the little blurb you wrote in the OP, sounds like you're confusing being jacked around by a drama queen with something deeper and more meaningful.
    How is that? He said he never pursued anything with her.

  2. #12
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    How is that? He said he never pursued anything with her.
    How did you manage to interpret what I said, to what you're intimating?

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    How did you manage to interpret what I said, to what you're intimating?
    "being jacked around by a drama queen with something deeper and more meaningful"

    I took it for face value.

    She didn't jack him around. He said he didn't pursue her because he was intimidated by her and he missed out (she has a BF now). He wanted to know how he could avoid that in the future.

    Edit: In other words, he wanted to know how he could manage the feelings that hindered him from pursuing her (i.e., intimidation).

  4. #14
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I took it for face value.
    No wonder.

    She didn't jack him around. He said he didn't pursue her because he was intimidated by her and he missed out (she has a BF now). He wanted to know how he could avoid that in the future.
    Someone can jack you around by pushing your buttons, whether intentionally or not. As far as not "perusing" her, there were a number of reasons why he didn't.

  5. #15
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    *shifty eyes*

    I'm still working on this one. In fact, I'll be watching this thread for wisdom from experience, which I am admittedly lacking at my age.

    My biggest problems with relationships are: once I date the guy, either it will completely succeed, and I will spend the rest of my life with them, or it will crumble somehow, and I will have to go through a break up.

    Break ups are not fun. I try to avoid that. In doing so, I end up handling my emotions by trying to handle them too much or not at all.

    I always want to pursue them to their fullest extent and exhaust their possibilities. An endless chase where if I win, I am bored, and if I lose, well, I am probably still with that person. Unless something else happens.

    God, thinking about relationships is so depressing.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by andante View Post
    No wonder.

    Someone can jack you around by pushing your buttons, whether intentionally or not. As far as not "perusing" her, there were a number of reasons why he didn't.
    He never said she pushed his buttons.

    He wanted to know how he could manage the feelings that hindered him from pursuing her (i.e., intimidation).

  7. #17
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    He never said she pushed his buttons.

    He wanted to know how he could manage the feelings that hindered him from pursuing her (i.e., intimidation).
    :facepalm: Whatev...

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian2626 View Post
    now she's dating some 27 year old, ex marine, college dropout loser who is fat and works at pizza hut and lives 2 states away, I assume because he is evangelical (another reason she drove me insane).
    For some, there's more to love than looks, money, degrees, and religion. Maybe he's more confident than you, or works harder, or says the right things, or emotionally connects, or is thoughtful and generous, or is all of the above. One thing is for sure, he didn't let his fears or imperfections defeat him; he asked her out. I find that impressive.

    Specifically, what were you afraid of?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    For some, there's more to love than looks, money, degrees, and religion. Maybe he's more confident than you, or works harder, or says the right things, or emotionally connects, or is thoughtful and generous, or is all of the above. One thing is for sure, he didn't let his fears or imperfections defeat him; he asked her out. I find that impressive.

    Specifically, what were you afraid of?
    I was intimidated by her because of the fact that she made me feel different, my entire life has been an exercise in controlling my emotions. When I approach a woman it "feels" like a business transaction, we both work well together thus it makes since that we should be together. Now, I am still young and according to various MBTI articles I have read until you hit your 30's, generally your undeveloped function (Fi for ENTJ) remain virtually non-existent. So I guess what the real question is, how can I learn to process emotions so as to not repeat these mistakes and not go into lock down, hyper-focus when a woman I like shows up. Other things that intimidated me was just the way she carried herself, it was almost angelic, she had the world at her fingertips and didn't seem to realize it, plus she would stand up to me which I like women who can and will stand up to me. I am surprised that I actually liked a non-NT type, my previous 2 girlfriends were ENTP and INTP, I like ENTPs but me and the ENTP girl had a rocky relationship, people did not enjoy being around us AT ALL. I think the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that she would argue for no real purpose, I only argue to accomplish something, to defeat my opponents and win. She played devils advocate constantly and I hated it. The INTP girl was a lot like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, so go watch that show and you'll have a rough idea what an INTP woman is like (Super Nerd is how I would describe her). I must apologies for rambling on.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brian2626 View Post
    I was intimidated by her because of the fact that she made me feel different, my entire life has been an exercise in controlling my emotions. When I approach a woman it "feels" like a business transaction, we both work well together thus it makes since that we should be together. Now, I am still young and according to various MBTI articles I have read until you hit your 30's, generally your undeveloped function (Fi for ENTJ) remain virtually non-existent. So I guess what the real question is, how can I learn to process emotions so as to not repeat these mistakes and not go into lock down, hyper-focus when a woman I like shows up. Other things that intimidated me was just the way she carried herself, it was almost angelic, she had the world at her fingertips and didn't seem to realize it, plus she would stand up to me which I like women who can and will stand up to me. I am surprised that I actually liked a non-NT type, my previous 2 girlfriends were ENTP and INTP, I like ENTPs but me and the ENTP girl had a rocky relationship, people did not enjoy being around us AT ALL. I think the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that she would argue for no real purpose, I only argue to accomplish something, to defeat my opponents and win. She played devils advocate constantly and I hated it. The INTP girl was a lot like Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, so go watch that show and you'll have a rough idea what an INTP woman is like (Super Nerd is how I would describe her). I must apologies for rambling on.
    I identify with your idea on using how well you work together as a means of gauging the success of the relationship.

    In order to come up with a solution to your intimidation troubles, let's think about where intimidation comes from...

    uncertainty breeds fear--> fear breeds intimidation --> intimidation is a goal blocker--> goal blockage leads to frustration--> frustration leads to anger (and in your first post I detected a little anger, so I might be on to something here.)
    Wow and look, uncertainty is the root of your troubles! Now we can build a solution...

    Hypothesis:
    If an ENTJ wants to beat intimidation, it seems logical that the ENTJ would simply need to eliminate the uncertainty. In order to eliminate uncertainty, the ENTJ would have to learn everything they could about the person that intimidates them.

    The more you know.

    How'd I do?

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