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  1. #11
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by So It Goes View Post
    You described the core of what I felt the other day -- except I had the enemy attempting to infiltrate my Ti-Zone.

    My defenses were up. My sensors detected forces that I had no intention to trust.

    It's hard for me to fake interest when there's no connection (mentally or emotionally).

    There needs to be a powerful outside attack to screw up my data base or I need to gradually trust the unknown forces.

    (I've been watching a lot of war movies lately)
    Yep, I relate to that. I can't fake interest until real interest happens, and it feels fake when that much interest is coming at me too soon from the other party. I don't trust it, and I need time to know how I really feel about him, and if there's real potential. But if there's real interest that helps me bypass the Ti stuff, I'm more willing to just roll with it. I wish I had a solution. The traditional dating process has always seemed highly awkward and backward to me--spending time with someone you don't know in hopes you might eventually like them. I definitely prefer knowing a person first.
    Something Witty

  2. #12
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    @So It Goes - what is your ennneagram and instinctual stack? I think that makes a big difference. The INTPs that I know well are quite different but when an INTP falls from my experience they fall hard and it's not uncommon at all for an INTP to be the owner of an unrequited crush or worse. One INTP friend has avoided relationships because she tended to attract very emotionally needy people (as you can imagine that's a bad combination with an avoidant INTP!) but the other is quite a relationship (sexual or otherwise) person with a steady stream of lovers and partners. She has a strong Fe streak though even with her misanthropy.

    Also, are you male or female? You mention feeling people pushing you into sex, do you think that's for affection/relationships or purely for sex?
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    @So It Goes - what is your ennneagram and instinctual stack? I think that makes a big difference. The INTPs that I know well are quite different but when an INTP falls from my experience they fall hard and it's not uncommon at all for an INTP to be the owner of an unrequited crush or worse. One INTP friend has avoided relationships because she tended to attract very emotionally needy people (as you can imagine that's a bad combination with an avoidant INTP!) but the other is quite a relationship (sexual or otherwise) person with a steady stream of lovers and partners. She has a strong Fe streak though even with her misanthropy.

    Also, are you male or female? You mention feeling people pushing you into sex, do you think that's for affection/relationships or purely for sex?
    I'm not completely certain of my instinctual stacking but I have tested as a 5w4 a few times before, and generally identify with that description more so than 5w6. I'm a male too. Like your first friend, I mostly tend to avoid romantic relationships and seem to attract people who I don't care for. This does not happen that often, but these people don't leave me alone when they first "like me."

    There's been situations where people have pushed me for a relationship immediately, or sex after no prior signs of attraction, and instead of wanting to be around these people, I avoid them, because I hardly know them and want to progress into relationships slowly, after analyzing the situation. I think this stems from some of the factors I mentioned in my first few posts, but it generally takes me a long time to open up to new people and immediate pressure to put myself into their life emotionally makes me resist (and confuses the hell out of me).

  4. #14
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    That seems like more an INTx 5 thing than just an INTP thing. From my experience it seems a "true 5" desire for objectivity first and being cautious while getting to know someone. Again from observation "avoiding" romantic relationships doesnt seem like the norm, though just not having as much opportunity or partners due to introversión seems moré normal. My INTP friend who avoids relationships does so partly bc in true introvert fashion she just cant be bothered (person doesnt hold her interest) and partly due to anxiety. I think its important to distinguish feeling awkward/shy around people and "not being interested" in relationships.

    Also ha at you being a guy. I know another INT 5 male who has had attractive girls literally jump in his bed and he's said "sorry this is too fast for me" haha. So atypical for a young man.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    That seems like more an INTx 5 thing than just an INTP thing. From my experience it seems a "true 5" desire for objectivity first and being cautious while getting to know someone. Again from observation "avoiding" romantic relationships doesnt seem like the norm, though just not having as much opportunity or partners due to introversión seems moré normal. My INTP friend who avoids relationships does so partly bc in true introvert fashion she just cant be bothered (person doesnt hold her interest) and partly due to anxiety. I think its important to distinguish feeling awkward/shy around people and "not being interested" in relationships.

    Also ha at you being a guy. I know another INT 5 male who has had attractive girls literally jump in his bed and he's said "sorry this is too fast for me" haha. So atypical for a young man.
    I certainly relate with your friend, except about the social anxiety part. I am cautious and hesitant about forming or continuing relationships due to introversion. I consider myself a heavy introvert, even though when I'm around people, I seem extroverted. I can be outgoing and talkative, but I desperately need alone time to recover and the freedom to stay away from distractions. I also think, as a type-5, that there's this overwhelming sense that I am not prepared enough, or knowledgeable enough, to really engage the world, so I feel the need to examine a situation before I feel comfortable. And I do notice that I'm much more happy when I can take that role as an outside, detached observer, rather than mixing myself up with people. I deeply value the distance I have, but at the same time, I am fascinated by people's thoughts and behaviors.

  6. #16
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by So It Goes View Post
    I also think, as a type-5, that there's this overwhelming sense that I am not prepared enough, or knowledgeable enough, to really engage the world, so I feel the need to examine a situation before I feel comfortable. And I do notice that I'm much more happy when I can take that role as an outside, detached observer, rather than mixing myself up with people. I deeply value the distance I have, but at the same time, I am fascinated by people's thoughts and behaviors.
    Yes, this all sounds very 5-ish. The same applies to me, with the exception that I feel well-prepared to engage the world when I have the expertise to do so successfully (e.g. at work). It is much less like my INTP, though, who is probably a 9 rather than a 5.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  7. #17
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Romantic relationships tend to form on the INTPs, rather than the other way around.

    Yeah. If you stay still too long, a spore will attach and begin to grow. Going through decontamination is even worse.

    Type 5 definitely plays into this. I am often worried about being 'sucked dry'. Not having enough __________ for me and that person. It's hard to explain it in concrete terms but I am afraid of being consumed. It's even harder to deal with when I get moments of intense feeling toward people. I'm more apt to push people away when that happens because I am at war with myself trying to control those feelings.

  8. #18
    Junior Member Anaita's Avatar
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    Out of curiosity, do INTPs tend to have a relatively clear idea about what they would want in regards to a long-term partner?

  9. #19
    Senior Member Xyk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anaita View Post
    Out of curiosity, do INTPs tend to have a relatively clear idea about what they would want in regards to a long-term partner?
    Spoken only from personal thoughts:

    I have a very specific "ideal" situation of how I would want that to go. I do look for potential to live up to that in girls I'm interested in, but wouldn't turn someone down immediately because they don't have much of that potential. I'm also pretty open to the reality that it almost definitely won't happen exactly as I want it, and that I'll probably want something different in the future.
    MBTI: INTP (PNIT if you wanna put it in order of strength.)
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    Alignment: Neutral Good
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    Also, credit for my new avatar goes to this person. I found it on the google.

  10. #20
    small potatoes NotOfTwo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiasmaResonance View Post
    I do find it difficult to form relationships, which is why when I manage to form meaningful and emotionally moving relationships, I find them hard to let go.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    I do find it hard to form romantic relationships--that's why usually a situation has to present itself that allows me to bypass the usual way of processing things. There has to be a major spark or a major click of personalities, etc. Otherwise, I'll keep them at Ti arm's-length forever and never progress past it. Unfortunately, the major Ti-bypassing situations don't present themselves very often. Sucks to be an INTP sometimes.
    For real.
    "It's never enough." The Cure

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