• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INTP] INTPs: If someone is no longer interesting, do you ignore them?

A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I am not suggesting every INTP does this, or that every person who ignores another must be an INTP.... It is simply a trend I have noticed with some of my INTP friends and I wanted to get some feedback on it.

I've seen quite a few INTP posters on various boards talk about how if they meet someone who has knowledge that they don't, they will want to (and often do) pepper that person with hundreds of questions to get the knowledge for themselves. I've experienced this for myself as well with some of my INTP friends, and even my INTP dad. When someone is interesting to them, then they are fully engaged.

What I wonder is what happens afterwards. Do you, as an INTP, find yourself ignoring that person once the information has been harvested? Or do you not even notice that you have stopped talking to that person?
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am not suggesting every INTP does this, or that every person who ignores another must be an INTP.... It is simply a trend I have noticed with some of my INTP friends and I wanted to get some feedback on it.
This sentence alone may help to avoid a lot of borderline troll posts.
I've seen quite a few INTP posters on various boards talk about how if they meet someone who has knowledge that they don't, they will want to (and often do) pepper that person with hundreds of questions to get the knowledge for themselves. I've experienced this for myself as well with some of my INTP friends, and even my INTP dad. When someone is interesting to them, then they are fully engaged.
:yes:
What I wonder is what happens afterwards. Do you, as an INTP, find yourself ignoring that person once the information has been harvested? Or do you not even notice that you have stopped talking to that person?
Humans have multiple purposes for INTPs. Some provide knowledge, some provide physical pleasures :ninja:, some are good playmates and some people are just fun to be around. Some people aren't fun (I doubt it would be your case though), but almost every person knows something that we don't. Sometimes they just bought a new house and can provide information about the housing market. Perhaps they have been to another country I wanna visit and know the bureaucracy process of getting visas/passports. People usually like talking about their jobs and lives, so it's a win-win. But if they aren't fun, there's nothing left for me to benefit from after they have shared their knowledge.
To be honest, my default mode irl is ''avoid as many people as you can'', so I've basically been doing that only in situations where I didn't have many options besides interacting, like co-workers, classmates, relatives at parties.
 

So It Goes

New member
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
104
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
"I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him."

-- Galileo Galilei

I never ignore a person unless that person has a cruel or difficult personality. Even then, I sometimes go out of my way to be around difficult people, because I want to learn what circumstances made them difficult in the first place. Anyhow, Rasofy hit the nail on the head. Humans have different purposes, and so, INTP's have different relationships and goals with each person. For example, I spend time with an ESFP friend because he teaches me about human relationships, selling, sports, music, girls, and so on, but I spend time with my ISTP friend because we can discuss politics, religion, science, philosophy, and joke sarcastically with each other, knowing that the other won't take offense.
 
Joined
Jul 8, 2010
Messages
450
MBTI Type
ESFJ
What I wonder is what happens afterwards. Do you, as an INTP, find yourself ignoring that person once the information has been harvested? Or do you not even notice that you have stopped talking to that person?
Lol@ "harvested" and I didn't notice at that time.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
I hate to admit it, but yes. I mean, not in a mean way, but I won't actively seek to maintain the relationship. It's not really a conscious thing, though.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I am not suggesting every INTP does this, or that every person who ignores another must be an INTP.... It is simply a trend I have noticed with some of my INTP friends and I wanted to get some feedback on it.

I've seen quite a few INTP posters on various boards talk about how if they meet someone who has knowledge that they don't, they will want to (and often do) pepper that person with hundreds of questions to get the knowledge for themselves. I've experienced this for myself as well with some of my INTP friends, and even my INTP dad. When someone is interesting to them, then they are fully engaged.

What I wonder is what happens afterwards. Do you, as an INTP, find yourself ignoring that person once the information has been harvested? Or do you not even notice that you have stopped talking to that person?

If anyone lost interest in you as a person, I'd kick them in the pills for being defective.
 

Magic Poriferan

^He pronks, too!
Joined
Nov 4, 2007
Messages
14,081
MBTI Type
Yin
Enneagram
One
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I can say from experience that the answer is no. I have put long hours into people that were not interesting to me.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
I can say from experience that the answer is no. I have put long hours into people that were not interesting to me.

Hmmm. Well, this is true for me, too. There are plenty of folks that I have patience for that no one else does, because I feel like they need someone to listen to them or help them.

I guess the bottom line is, I just don't find most people to be very interesting--and maybe it's because they don't share my interests, not because they themselves aren't interesting. But in those cases, I find it easier to just not try to hang out with each other than to trudge through hours of social awkwardness. I have often wondered why we can't just be okay with everyone not having to be everyone else's friend. But then I probably wouldn't like that sort of world if everyone behaved that way. I guess I just want to behave that way. :p
 

Z Buck McFate

Pepperidge Farm remembers.
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
6,048
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I am not suggesting every INTP does this, or that every person who ignores another must be an INTP.... It is simply a trend I have noticed with some of my INTP friends and I wanted to get some feedback on it.


Are the INTPs friends you have in mind e5? I'd guess this would be more of an e5 thing than INTP- constantly feeling like inner resources will be depleted easily by the external world, and consequently hoarding attention for the times when something/someone is particularly engaging. I find myself doing this a lot [edit: and I have the exact same attitude Tallulah just described]. It isn't intentional.
 

So It Goes

New member
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
104
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Are the INTPs friends you have in mind e5? I'd guess this would be more of an e5 thing than INTP- constantly feeling like inner resources will be depleted easily by the external world, and consequently hoarding attention for the times when something/someone is particularly engaging. I find myself doing this a lot [edit: and I have the exact same attitude Tallulah just described]. It isn't intentional.

I relate to this a lot (I'm a 5w4, INTP).

I have an inner compulsion to always accumulate more and more information. I never feel adequate in knowing, and am always uncertain about what I know, so I absorb data from as many sources as possible. For example, it's really easy for me to read all day, research on the computer all day, or go to the library all day, where I have no external distractions. Instead, I can focus internally on a problem, almost to the point of obsession, where everything else fades away but what I want to learn. It's always an endless search that's never fully satisfied.
 

kelric

Feline Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2007
Messages
2,169
MBTI Type
INtP
I guess the bottom line is, I just don't find most people to be very interesting--and maybe it's because they don't share my interests, not because they themselves aren't interesting. But in those cases, I find it easier to just not try to hang out with each other than to trudge through hours of social awkwardness.

I'm also this way. The OP describes a situation where an INTP might get closer to someone to extract knowledge from them and then sort of leave them hanging. I can say pretty definitively that I don't do that, nor could I see myself doing so. If I don't want to hang out with someone, I won't - period. I'll get that interesting tidbit of knowledge some other way, be it a book, online, simply trying to figure it out myself, etc. Perhaps I'm not the one to answer the OP -- I don't do the "pepper people with questions" thing -- partially because I'm an antisocial dork :)alttongue:), partially because I don't want to be a supplicant to anyone.

If I spend time with someone, it's because I find *them* interesting and fun. Sure, often that involves what I consider fun or stimulating conversation, but it's not usually (pretty much never) a case of knowledge-gathering.
 

gmanyo

sswwwaagggg
Joined
Jun 8, 2010
Messages
275
MBTI Type
ENTP
I feel like ENPs can do this as well in a way, though people aren't interesting because of knowledge but because they are interesting as characters. It's almost like I view certain people like people as if they were from a novel, and I like to understand their intricacies.

I haven't known enough INTPs to say how the quintessential INTP would act, but the one I know the best doesn't really do this.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
From what I've seen from the three INTP ex's (luckily not with me), they did the classic INTP fade with contacts and friends.
 

INTP

Active member
Joined
Jul 31, 2009
Messages
7,803
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx
Never got disinterested about someone i found interesting and made good friends with, so hard to say what would happen, but i dont see myself doing that. I prefer to be picky about good friends, so that i dont get bored with them for long term.
 

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
It's interesting [MENTION=7842]Z Buck McFate[/MENTION] mentioned e5, because I was about to chime in and say it's threads like these that make me wonder if I'm just a really soft INtP. Because the half hearted INFP I am, will also ignore people who are no longer of interest. Unintentionally, of course. Unless you made it into the trusted friend catergory.
 

Snoopy22

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2008
Messages
355
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Not having an interest in what someone has to say isn’t ignoring, it’s just having different interests
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Thank you for the responses so far! :) I got a bit swamped with a few things right now but will respond to them later.

I appreciate the candid input.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,192
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I don't avoid people; and if they write me or I feel like writing them, I will. But I have noticed my typical relationship pattern with people I don't see daily are basically to meet, connect, have a wild intense exchange that lasts anywhere from a few days to a month, and then the communication speed dwindles to just periodic as the relationship moves into a "maintenance" phase.
 
Top