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[INTP] INTPs: If someone is no longer interesting, do you ignore them?

Red Herring

Superwoman
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
7,488
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I don't avoid people; and if they write me or I feel like writing them, I will. But I have noticed my typical relationship pattern with people I don't see daily are basically to meet, connect, have a wild intense exchange that lasts anywhere from a few days to a month, and then the communication speed dwindles to just periodic as the relationship moves into a "maintenance" phase.

This, exactly.

I don't shut out people. But somebody on here wrote that any object that hasn't been used/moved in the last 24-48 hours becomes invisible to the INTP and I am under the impression that it works the same way with people. It's: connect, exchange views and information on each other and then the intensity of the contact dwindles. The friendship can remain intact for many years if the other person isn't offended because I only call once every few months - not because I don't care about them but because it doesn't occur to me, either because I don't want to impose myself or, even more likely, because I am so absorbed in whatever else is going on in my head that I forget all about them. That doesn't mean I don't like them any more or don't want to see them or don't enjoy spending time with them. They just disappear from my radar for a while ...and I from theirs, involuntarily, for not calling often enough. But I am almost always grateful and happy when they contact me - it takes some of the burden of friendship maintenence off my shoulders, which is a great relief.

As for the exchange of knowledge and ideas. Usually a new person will spark my interest in certain new topics. But I don't probe them for information (unless they clearly want to talk about it) but rather use the encounter as an inspiration to do some independent research of my own.
I do need some amount of human contact, of course, but that is usually in the hands of 1-2 people at a time. Usually a partner and/or a best friend. Everybody else is a nice, pleasant bonus but work to maintain if they expect too much initiative from me. I don't mean any harm - it just usually doesn't occur to me to call no matter how much I like them.
 

yupitsme

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
24
MBTI Type
intx
they will want to (and often do) pepper that person with hundreds of questions to get the knowledge for themselves.

What I wonder is what happens afterwards. Do you, as an INTP, find yourself ignoring that person once the information has been harvested? Or do you not even notice that you have stopped talking to that person?

Absolutely. I harvest and then bolt. Haha.

For example, I have never worked in a factory or on a farm. My ENFJ wife drags me to some average couples house for dinner. I storm the husband for some knowledge I dont have and then rape his mind for any knowledge I dont posess and NEVER agree to go back because they got nothing else Im interested in.

Good times
 

Such Irony

Honor Thy Inferior
Joined
Jul 23, 2010
Messages
5,059
MBTI Type
INtp
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I hate to admit it, but yes. I mean, not in a mean way, but I won't actively seek to maintain the relationship. It's not really a conscious thing, though.

This
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
Thanks for the responses everyone! I was able to hang out with my INTP friend that sparked this thread this past weekend. It was awkward at first but then things fell into their usual chatting about random weirdness kind of routine.

I'll just chalk the experience up to the mysteries of the e5 dance. :).

I appreciate the various perspectives here that reiterate that it isn't something personal. From where I sit, when it happens to me it IS a personal thing... Because if I did this same behavior, it's because I am either ignoring someone or avoiding them.
 

Unique

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
1,702
I wouldn't call it "ignoring" as that has negative connotations, INTPs however are somewhat notorious for not making consistent contact, for me personally it's a lack of awareness in passing time due to heavy thinking sessions.

INTPs are 'intense' in a way, very engaging but then have no problem slipping into the background.
 

NotOfTwo

small potatoes
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Messages
509
MBTI Type
INTP
I understand your irritation. For me, sometimes when I back off, it is because I realize how intense I have been and want to save myself the pain of being backed off from. I know I can become an eager and perhaps annoying puppy when I find someone I enjoy talking to.

Then again, at times I find out the person has no depths to plumb. Best to fade away then.

I can't imagine you boring an intp though.
 

Philosorapteuse

right on the left wing
Joined
Feb 7, 2012
Messages
217
MBTI Type
INTP
I'm inclined to do this with people I find boring, even if I once found them interesting. I try not to, because I think it's a shabby way to behave. But I find it very difficult to cope with people whose entire "record collection" I've already heard. I can think someone is a nice person and wish them well, while simultaneously dreading them because they only ever say things they've said before, often gratingly obvious things. For bonus points, they say them as though they're making a novel and fascinating observation. I get the impression that my social skills and liking for company are on the high end of the scale for an INTP, but ARGH. I make active efforts to avoid those people if I possibly can without causing them hurt. I feel bad about it, because I'd be gutted if someone thought about me the way I think about people like that. I don't necessarily dislike these people, per se... but my God, talking to them is like exfoliating my face with a cheesegrater. My first and deepest desire is to tell them to shut up, duct tape their mouth shut, and then never be in the same room again.
 

yenom

Alexander the Terrible
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
1,755
ESTPs are most likely to exhibit that kind behavior, ignoring boring people.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
So if INTP is curious about you, that's a good sign right?

But is this really type related? I thought INTJ do this too?
 
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