hello all, Im 19 years old i turn 20 tomorrow and basically the last 10 yrs of my life have left me with no confidence, no friends and nothing to really look foward to in life. Im not depressed or anything but I can't carry on like this. I was bullied throughout high school although never physically, even girls used to participate. Im in first year of university studying philosophy, just finished the first semester and I haven't made one friend and again i seem to be a target for verbal jibes.
I know there is no overnight solution and I have no anger or contempt towards the outside world or the people who bullied me, if the same patterns keep repeating in my life the problem must largely be down to me, but I don't know where to start exactly.
So essentially im asking how does one let go of the past and look to build self-esteem and confidence if those things have been an non-entity in your life. Does confidence start internally or do you need some sort of external validation first?
If any NTs or anyone felt like this at my age how did you move on?