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  1. #51
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    I think its illogical to equate Vulnerability with Closeness in the first place.

    You can be very close to people without being outwardly vulnerable.

  2. #52
    Junior Member James Woods's Avatar
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    I have an extensive screening process before I can be vulnerable, and I've been hurt very badly recently so it's unlikely I will be "vulnerable" as you would like for a long time.
    From whence shall we expect the approach of danger? Shall some transatlantic giant step the earth and crush us in a blow? Never.
    All the armies of Europe and Asia could not by force take a drink from the Ohio River or set a track on the Blue Ridge in the trial of 1000 years.
    If destruction be our lot, we ourselves must be its author and finisher.

    As a nation of free men, we will live forever...

    Or die by suicide.


    Ne - Ti - Se - Te - Ni - Fe - Fi - Si

    7w6(8w7) 3w2 8w7 so/sx

  3. #53
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    I have to echo the consensus here: ENTP's suck pretty bad at being vulnerable. I'm having a hard time matching genders here, but as a male ENTP (I have no idea about females) I must concede that I didn't (and still somewhat don't) understand what being vulnerable even meant. My opinion is that you INFJ's come loaded with this vulnerability programming that allows you some strange pleasure in exposing yourself to people who prove themselves worthy. I don't even think I had a conscious fear of being exposed, I just didn't even understand there was something hidden until recently. It was like an act I'd kept up so long that I forgot there was something behind the curtain. It's a slow, arduous process, but we can be quite vulnerable... just don't expect that to happen overnight.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by themarlins View Post
    I think its illogical to equate Vulnerability with Closeness in the first place.

    You can be very close to people without being outwardly vulnerable.
    As your S cousin, i agree

  5. #55
    Junior Member phdenial's Avatar
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    In true ENTP style, I read most of the original post, and some of the following comments.But I lost patience and got very annoyed.

    I'm sorry OP, but this kind of complaining about an ENTP (which is essentially a character attack about not being vulnerable) is like getting annoyed because my eyes automatically shut when you try to stick a pencil in my iris. I think someone on this thread said F people are good at being haters, too. Word.

    The NFs I've known have all gone through great violin-playing woe-is-me accusations of hurting them by trying to protect myself from the crap they are pulling (usually trying to avoid responsibility about some action on their part). We can't even ASK a question about it because we are accused of character attack, even when all we really want to do is understand. So, NF OP, tell me...how does it feel to be typecast? Sucks, doesn't it? Then quit pulling this crap and then lambasting a whole group of other people for doing the thing you are doing. Ridiculous.

    Loyalty? How about spending 5 years being caregiver to my dying grandparents while keeping a 4.0 GPA in a PhD program? My F sister was off sobbing tears of loss and writing poetry while I was washing urine off of people who I actually cared about. And I was able to keep my emotions in check so that I could achieve all of these things, while still caring in ways that mattered. Oh yes, and she turned on me in the end, too.

    Someone here said that INTJs are better matches for ENTPs. My sample size is small-ish, but personally I have to agree. I have had hellish, abusive INFJ relationships (at work and personal), but have had wonderful relationships with INTJs. NFs never allowed me to be who I was, yet I was expected to forgive them for abuse. Kinda like the tone of the OP here.

  6. #56
    Senior Member statuesquechica's Avatar
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    I would have to agree there is some pretty ugly ENTP bashing going on by the OP. I don't think it's fair to extrapolate so many negative traits from such a small sample (one or two relationships) to an entire MBTI type. There are soooo many factors to be considered in any relationship that attributing it all to type isn't rational. I do understand this was the OP' s experience; mine was very different.

    My ENTP ex was very compassionate and had a real passion for social justice issues. When I had gained his trust he shared his vulnerabilities with me, even after we broke up. He continues to be a support for me, and I for him. Of course he has his faults, as we all do, but I always found his compassion and loyalty to be some of his strongest traits.
    I've looked at life from both sides now
    From up and down and still somehow
    It's life's illusions I recall
    I really don't know life at all

    Joni Mitchell

  7. #57
    Senior Member yeghor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahousan View Post
    I have to echo the consensus here: ENTP's suck pretty bad at being vulnerable. I'm having a hard time matching genders here, but as a male ENTP (I have no idea about females) I must concede that I didn't (and still somewhat don't) understand what being vulnerable even meant. My opinion is that you INFJ's come loaded with this vulnerability programming that allows you some strange pleasure in exposing yourself to people who prove themselves worthy. I don't even think I had a conscious fear of being exposed, I just didn't even understand there was something hidden until recently. It was like an act I'd kept up so long that I forgot there was something behind the curtain. It's a slow, arduous process, but we can be quite vulnerable... just don't expect that to happen overnight.
    I want, around me, people that I'll have no fear to remove my armor and be my true self... I feel relieved when people bestow me with such an atmosphere... cause the armor weighs heavy...

  8. #58
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    Not anymore. Forget it!

  9. #59
    Vulnerability Eilonwy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phdenial View Post
    Loyalty? How about spending 5 years being caregiver to my dying grandparents while keeping a 4.0 GPA in a PhD program? My F sister was off sobbing tears of loss and writing poetry while I was washing urine off of people who I actually cared about. And I was able to keep my emotions in check so that I could achieve all of these things, while still caring in ways that mattered. Oh yes, and she turned on me in the end, too.
    You have my admiration and sympathy for caring for your grandparents for 5 years. Especially while going to school and maintaining a 4.0. It's a difficult and mostly thankless job.
    Johari / Nohari

    “That we are capable only of being what we are remains our unforgivable sin.” ― Gene Wolfe

    reminder to self: "That YOU that you are so proud of is a story woven together by your interpreter module to account for as much of your behavior as it can incorporate, and it denies or rationalizes the rest." "Who's in Charge? Free Will and the Science of the Brain" by Michael S. Gazzaniga

  10. #60
    FRACTALICIOUS phobik's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phdenial View Post
    NFs never allowed me to be who I was, yet I was expected to forgive them for abuse.
    QFT.
    To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
    ~ Elbert Hubbard

    Music provides one of the clearest examples of a much deeper relation between mathematics and human experience.

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