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Thread: INTJ breakdown

  1. #71
    Member Jwill's Avatar
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    I almost never crack, but I remember this one time a few years ago. My sister had just had her third baby, so I was babysitting the first two kids while she recovered. Anyway, this was during my winter break from university, so I was really looking forward to some good quality time by myself. Instead, I had to babysit two very active kids all day. My sister didn't want the kids watching more than an hour of tv a day (that's what they do at their house usually). I was babysitting at my parent's house, though, where there were hardly any toys for the kids to play with, so it was pretty much me entertaining them all day. They'd wake up super early everyday, too!

    Anyway, my neice was going through an "I hate everyone but Grandma and Mommy" phase, and this one day she wouldn't stop crying all day and kept hiccuping about how she didn't like me. I was sleep-deprived, I had absolutely no "me" time in the last week, this was supposed to be my vacation, and I was obviously not doing a good job with the kids anyway. I snapped. When my mom came home from work, I got really angry and yelled about how I never wanted kids of my own and stormed off (note: I usually love kids and I'm the "favorite aunt" because I bribe kids with kisses, presents, and candy). I totally lost my cool. Later, I started sobbing into my mom's arms for, like, half an hour. I NEVER ever cry! It was surreal.

    I chalk the whole thing up to sleep deprivation and not having enough introverted time. I felt like everything was out of control, that I wasn't even making a difference, and that I was suffering needlessly. I think that's probably the worst breakdown I've ever had in my whole life. When my SFJ sisters lived with me, they'd breakdown like that about twice a week...

  2. #72

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    I've had a breakdown a few years ago, during my teenage life: I felt very rejected (and sometimes misunderstood,...) and this made me doubt myself (and others) enormously, I felt deprived like I couldn't develop my true qualities (and held back through others), I disliked my social environment greatly and felt apathetic, I felt challenged as if I constantly had to prove myself instead of feeling challenged on healthy growing. (Basically my social life was a twisted mess, my situation with my parents was a mess [and my parents as parents often seemed like a mess], and I did not get the challenge I wanted education wise - resulting into me wanting to strive for more but not knowing where to start.) I tried to dissect my life piece by piece. : Eventually I took this as a project to try and overcome these struggles and ever since I did see it as a challenge for myself to learn from instead of being destructive.

    So basically I've been going in and out of stress modes constantly over the past years and have felt very pissed off, lonely, doubtful and confused at times.
    Given that I care about being treated with justice and care and that I'm a perfectionist you could understand how I've been both angry at myself and others.

    I'm currently becoming happier and healthier and I've only recently discovered my INTJ-alike nature. I have been pushed against a lot and I think that is why I have become more aware of certain weaknesses, resulting in both a lack of trust and confidence but on the other hand an extreme need for balance and having a non-regular drive. This has made me self aware and observant towards certain aspects, and hopefully a better person in the long run.
    Sometimes I still have spiralling moments but overall I'm content that things are developping for the better, as my situation in the past has been pretty gloomy and I felt quite lost at times.
    I don't know what to hold onto besides myself & other resources & the knowledge that there *are* people I can count on if I let them know what's up (even though this critical need has been abandoned by myself and others [parents, *some* teachers but luckily there were a select few exceptions around] in the past, I won't let that happen in the future).

    I'm glad I've learned not to chalk things up as if everything's still under control, and that when I confront people on important issues I need to take a leeway and consider people skills. I've been delving a lot into psychology on various subjects and have also done volunteering work with kids with difficulties in order to try and gain new experiences and insights on What's, Why's and How's.

  3. #73
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    They get really obsessive and paranoid about everything, and this obsession has a passionate tinge.

    Just like INFJs, except INFJ obsession has a cold tinge at this point.

    I know this, because I'm insane.

    The point is, when types are broken, the conflict between the dominant and inferior consumes everything, and they develop an extreme neurosis that resolves the conflict by denying, distorting, or destroying the aspect of reality that symbolizes the conflict in a self-destructive way.

    Insanity has been quite enlightening for me. Although I would have to say most people have an inaccurate understanding of it. Insanity isn't the result of losing your sense of reality. It's what happens when a person sees through what we accept as reality, and knowing the truth of their existence makes them unable to function or survive. Regaining your sanity is actually about rejecting what you know and finding a reason to embrace the common delusions again.

  4. #74

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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    They get really obsessive and paranoid about everything, and this obsession has a passionate tinge.

    Just like INFJs, except INFJ obsession has a cold tinge at this point.

    I know this, because I'm insane.
    Obsessive and paranoid, sounds about right. :P

    Also I've experienced insecurity problems but people are barely able to tell as this is one of the last things they expect of me. Only those who really care to look closer can suddenly spot my vulnerabilities & quirky tendencies.

  5. #75
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    INTJ crack bar, not to be confused with the entp crack Bar xD

    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #76
    Black Magic Buzzard Kra's Avatar
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    I can't say that I've ever had a breakdown, but I'd imagine that it's as Athenian mentioned. Se acting up is the cause of many grievances for me at least.

    Unhealthy inferior Se likes indulgence, and likes to goad Ni with things that aren't really there (paranoia).
    Function Activity:
    Ni > Te > Ti = Fi > Ne > Si = Fe > Se

  7. #77
    Senior Member VagrantFarce's Avatar
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    I would guess when reality (Se) starts to truly threaten an INTJs perspective on life (Ni), and they resist it, they'd crack eventually.

    "I couldn't possibly let go, then nothing would matter or be of significance! EVERYONE STAY DOWN I'VE GOT A GUN"
    Hello

  8. #78
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    I suspect one way to crack an INTJ is actually to take away his Se. That small modicum of contact with the outside world and the opportunity to do and see things. Pressure builds up in Fi as Ni/Te bloats with instructions on what to do that don't get done. Hanging out with ENXJs too much will do it. Giving a billion ways to think about stuff but no way to implement will do it. But it takes a while. You have to let him see the world passing him by in ways that he wishes it wouldn't.

    The overloaded Fi eventually bursts out and drags the Se with it, and you get the drunken, bloodied and tearful ESFP we all love.
    Bellison uncorked a flood of horrible profanity, which, translated, meant, "This is extremely unusual."

    Boy meets Grr

  9. #79
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    I suspect one way to crack an INTJ is actually to take away his Se. That small modicum of contact with the outside world and the opportunity to do and see things. Pressure builds up in Fi as Ni/Te bloats with instructions on what to do that don't get done. Hanging out with ENXJs too much will do it. Giving a billion ways to think about stuff but no way to implement will do it. But it takes a while. You have to let him see the world passing him by in ways that he wishes it wouldn't.

    The overloaded Fi eventually bursts out and drags the Se with it, and you get the drunken, bloodied and tearful ESFP we all love.
    Fuck yeah.

    Mmm, need to go on a -ripping-out spree soon.

  10. #80
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post

    Insanity isn't the result of losing your sense of reality. It's what happens when a person sees through what we accept as reality, and knowing the truth of their existence makes them unable to function or survive. Regaining your sanity is actually about rejecting what you know and finding a reason to embrace the common delusions again.
    This is brilliant. I think I've had this same realization only I've never been able to articulate it. THANKS!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    I suspect one way to crack an INTJ is actually to take away his Se. That small modicum of contact with the outside world and the opportunity to do and see things. Pressure builds up in Fi as Ni/Te bloats with instructions on what to do that don't get done. Hanging out with ENXJs too much will do it. Giving a billion ways to think about stuff but no way to implement will do it. But it takes a while. You have to let him see the world passing him by in ways that he wishes it wouldn't.

    The overloaded Fi eventually bursts out and drags the Se with it, and you get the drunken, bloodied and tearful ESFP we all love.

    I dunno if taking away the Se would cause it to happen... I can go a really long time as an oblivious 'mad hatter' without really ever touching back to reality when I want to. The lack of influence from the external world doesn't seem to bother me much. Its when I have too MUCH exposure to it that I kind of go through phases of ... degeneration:

    1. Fatigue

    2. Irritability

    3. Feeling of being near to tears if I can't get some quiet time

    4. Sense of impending implosion nearing and a desperate attempt to fix it before it happens. Possible anger/ short fuse.

    5. Denial that anything is wrong. Grasp the Te by the horns and FORCE it to keep going forward. Afterall, feelings are just feelings and when things need to be done, the feelings have to take a back seat. A short lived triumph at pushing on is soon replaced by a frantic thought of 'I can't do this...' which is even more scary because I like to feel like I can do anything. In fact... during times of stress I've said that phrase to myself so often that it has blurred into one word. "Icandothis. Icandothis." I am Near panic.

    6. Complete surrender to all whims and desires. I am suddenly on a kind of 'kamikaze', hell bent trail to have 'fun' at any cost. I drink, I dance, I sing karaoke, I invite that guy over who stays on the 'booty call' list, I. I. I.... It becomes ALL about me (moreso than usual) and it tends to happen very quickly... like a firecracker going off. Seems that the tighter I try to hold onto that 'Icandothis' stage, the harder it hits when I break.

    After the explosion of Se I just feel worn out and kind of... empty. But better.

    The cycle can repeat though, and go back and forth between the lower stages as it progresses... 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 5... *6* And if the problems that brought me to that point aren't resolved, the whole thing kind of happens again, only seemingly faster.
    Embrace the possibilities.

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