Gen. Ripper: Were you ever tortured, Group Captain?
Mandrake: Oh, just a bit, Jack.
Edit 2: One of the keepers at John Aspinall's wildlife range had his hand bitten off by a lion. When asked on his hospital bed how he felt he replied that the whole incident "had rather spoiled" his morning.
Edit: It usually is spectacular, your just too good at quantifying the experience.