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  1. #11
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    What's making me restless is that it's nearly 10 days ago since i sent him an email and so far he hasn't answered. I'm wondering if this is because i told him to take his time or he can't be bothered to answer sooner because he's not that interested. Although i told him to take his time i said this because i didn't want to bother him. But if i compare this to me if i liked someone and they told me to take time answering i would ignore this if i liked them.
    My question is does an intj comply with a request even if he knows i'm thinking only of him but in fact am waiting longingly waiting for an answer.

  2. #12
    Cheeseburgers freeeekyyy's Avatar
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    Does he check his email regularly? I've gone up to three weeks before without checking my email.


    Sometimes it takes a while to say what you want to say, too. I've taken up to two weeks to respond to an email before, and it's not because I forgot or didn't care, but because I wanted to get it right.
    You lose.

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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by simbad View Post
    I'm wondering if this is because i told him to take his time or he can't be bothered to answer sooner because he's not that interested. Although i told him to take his time i said this because i didn't want to bother him. But if i compare this to me if i liked someone and they told me to take time answering i would ignore this if i liked them.
    My question is does an intj comply with a request even if he knows i'm thinking only of him but in fact am waiting longingly waiting for an answer.
    Just one thought no-one else seems to have come up with yet...

    Even though INTJs may be socially clumsy every now and then, according to what I have both read and experienced myself, they are very sensitive to signs of rejection. They don't want bother people for nothing and thus, if they have a clue of not being welcome, they will not approach unless they really think (yeah, think, not feel) they need to. That's because of they are proud of being independent.

    I am, of course, lacking a lot of details regarding your communication with this INTJ but based on my reception of your description, I think that in similar situation, I might have interpreted a notion to me for me to take my time as a signal of the girl losing her interest. I mean, I value honesty and directness in communication over anything else, and if you say that I shouldn't rush to answer when you have previously given me a clue of you being interested in me, that's a contradiction I don't like. I just might end up concluding that you are actually doubting your interest in me.

    Of course, that's just my intuition playing with almost non-existing information so you shouldn't take it too seriously.

    What I am more sure about is what has already been said: Be sincere, be honest, be direct. Respect his independence by not trying to guess if he would be bothered to answer soon. Just show him your interest and let him master his life and schedule himself.
    INTJ, HSP, 1w9 or tritype 154, sx/sp

  4. #14
    Member Kraska's Avatar
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    Although I'm pretty young myself I value directness and honesty in people above everything.
    If some girl would tell me that she wants to keep in touch as friends I would only consider that.

    However you also need to know that INTJ can be a bit shy sometimes.

    So I belive you should tell him what your feellings are but you need to be carefull with the words you use, so that you don't scare him.

  5. #15
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simbad View Post
    Would an intj respect this or would he know that i am just thinking of him and therefore respond when he wanted to?
    I think it all depends on how hot you are relative to him.

    Now if you're looking for a long-term relationship, then you would have to be intelligent relative to him as well. And, similarly hobbies and interests would be a big help.

    So think of good symmetry as a foot in the door . . . if you will.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  6. #16
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    is this a long distance interaction? danger will robinson!

    If not, perhaps drop him an email and ask him to lunch. worst thing he will do is not reply or say no. otherwise you'll nver know. What can it hurt?

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