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  1. #11
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    love: I can't wreck my family's lives. Although I'm a terrible son and destroy any good relationship I have with family.
    Be a better son, strengthen your family relations. Where is the problem?

  2. #12
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Be a better son, strengthen your family relations. Where is the problem?
    I don't ever keep in contact with some of them. Never help around the house, never listen, never going to stupid family union. It's hard to maintain any type of relationship for me even my own family. I wish I could do more but my laziness and immaturity won't let me.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I don't ever keep in contact with some of them. Never help around the house, never listen, never going to stupid family union. It's hard to maintain any type of relationship for me even my own family. I wish I could do more but my laziness and immaturity won't let me.
    What do you do in situations in which you decide that you are too lazy and inept to do something that you initially wished to do? How do you waste your time?

  4. #14
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    You care about other people too much. Stop doing that, and you'll probably be better off.

    And ironically, more comfortable with problems with people when they come up. And in turn, better relationships.

    The first thing to do though is stop crucifying yourself by a bunch of standards that aren't even your own. You even start the thread already defeating yourself, worried about how you come off and how bad it looks. Stop giving a shit about other opinions and be more at peace with whoever you are. It's not a bad thing.

  5. #15
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    What do you do in situations in which you decide that you are too lazy and inept to do something that you initially wished to do? How do you waste your time?
    nothing, I have major depression. I usually waste my time online or listening to sad music.
    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    You care about other people too much. Stop doing that, and you'll probably be better off.

    And ironically, more comfortable with problems with people when they come up. And in turn, better relationships.

    The first thing to do though is stop crucifying yourself by a bunch of standards that aren't even your own. You even start the thread already defeating yourself, worried about how you come off and how bad it looks. Stop giving a shit about other opinions and be more at peace with whoever you are. It's not a bad thing.
    There was a time I didn't care about other people. It was great! It was during my teen years. I was a loner.

    I care about what others think cause I need them. Physical and mental connection. Guess I didn't care about this during teen cause I assume everything will work out itself. It never did.

  6. #16
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    There was a time I didn't care about other people. It was great! It was during my teen years. I was a loner.

    I care about what others think cause I need them. Physical and mental connection. Guess I didn't care about this during teen cause I assume everything will work out itself. It never did.
    It was great? Well.. great. Go back to it then.

    Being a loner is alright. Who told you it wasn't? If it's you telling yourself that, then fine.. figure out a way to improve it. If it's others telling you, fuck em. My only point is to not bring yourself down by anyone else's standards or principals. It will lead to more misery, I assure you.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    nothing, I have major depression. I usually waste my time online or listening to sad music.
    Then get some antidepressants. They actually work. Yes, your case is serious enough to seek help.

  8. #18
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    It was great? Well.. great. Go back to it then.

    Being a loner is alright. Who told you it wasn't? If it's you telling yourself that, then fine.. figure out a way to improve it. If it's others telling you, fuck em. My only point is to not bring yourself down by anyone else's standards or principals. It will lead to more misery, I assure you.
    I was happy being a loner during that time but not anymore. I'm extremely lonely, would like to be in a relationship. It isn't common for a guy to be a virgin at my age, not that I care that it's uncommon but I'm very sexually frustrated as well. I already have low self-esteem and it doesn't help that I'm getting older. Feels like there's something wrong with me or that I'm not good enough. I been self-loathing for long time now.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Then get some antidepressants. They actually work. Yes, your case is serious enough to seek help.
    I have talked to many people who were on antidepressant. They all told me to not take them, it makes them like a zombie.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I have talked to many people who were on antidepressant. They all told me to not take them, it makes them like a zombie.
    I imagine it depends on what you take. I have heard only positive reactions.

  10. #20
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I was happy being a loner during that time but not anymore. I'm extremely lonely, would like to be in a relationship. It isn't common for a guy to be a virgin at my age, not that I care that it's uncommon but I'm very sexually frustrated as well. I already have low self-esteem and it doesn't help that I'm getting older. Feels like there's something wrong with me or that I'm not good enough. I been self-loathing for long time now.
    All I'm saying is take a step back and not be so quick to judge yourself by these various "shoulds" and ideas of what you're apparently supposed to be doing or how something's "wrong" with you. Screw all of that for now. You're just one person out of billions.. trillions even.. there is no "wrong" here. The only thing wrong is that you keep listening to the wrong messages. Step back and think about these issues on your own terms. Then decide what's wrong. Focusing on how it's all FAIL and shit isn't going to help. You're still using some other measuring stick whenever you do that.

    You're not alone either, if that helps. There are people of your opposite type (ESFJ) who might feel compelled to marry simply because it's the thing to do. And then find themselves miserable - because they didn't figure out why they wanted it for themselves.

    There are also a lot of people who get laid a lot, and yet.. still miserable. However great you think their life is, it's probably inaccurate. They need to step back and do what makes them truly happy as well.

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