- Joined
- Apr 18, 2010
- Messages
- 27,195
- MBTI Type
- INTJ
- Enneagram
- 5w6
- Instinctual Variant
- sp/sx
I do agree that everyone communicates unconsciously to some degree through body language. I would suspect INTJs are different, however, in doing this far less than most. I have been told a number of times that I give off far fewer nonverbal cues than do most people -- and by ENFPs and others who are very good at reading such cues. I have over the years made a conscious effort in this regard, so perhaps I do it even less than the average INTJ.So are you suggesting that INTJs don't communicate unconsciously through body language? I don't believe it. Why should they be any different or special than anyone else in that regard. Are they hard to read and easy to misinterpret? Sure. If a person is good at reading body language and knows you, then I see no reason why they shouldn't use that as a means of understanding how you feel about something in the absence of a response. I agree with your point about devaluing intentional responses though - most irritating.
You would, indeed, have to know me very well, or see me in a seriously extenuating circumstance, to derive any accurate information from my nonverbal cues. My mother and my SO have been the only ones to do so with any degree of success, and even they sometimes misread. This information should only be used in the absence of deliberate verbal communication, and should never outweigh it. Others are free to try to read my nonverbal "signals", but there is a 95% chance they will be wrong, and when I realize what they are doing, I will trust and respect them less.
You are correct; I wasn't insulted by anything SB wrote. I'm not really even insulted when people do this -- it is more an annoyance. Your example is perfect. This situation happens often between me and my SO. The example I sometimes offer is of when I told the people at work I was moving. Our secretary started carrying on about how I "must be excited to be moving into a new house". Why must I be excited? Because she would be? Allow me to have my own emotions regarding my recent move, and to keep them to myself.I believe Coriolis was't insulted at all by what you said. He's referring to times when he was interacting with someone else who did that and it felt annoying or insulting to him.
With regards to your question, here is an example.