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  1. #1
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Default how do you get to know someone?

    I been talking to this girl couple times now and I really enjoy talking to her. After talking to her for like 3times I asked her out on a date. She said "I don't really know you that well". This isn't the first time I heard this from girls. I had multiple times when I asked out girls(yes, I did talk to them couple times before) and they told me "I don't even know you".

    What is that even mean?!?!?!?!?!?! I start out with small talk and talk about our interests..... isn't that how you get to know someone? One of the girl said, "we never had a deep conversation". WHAT IS DEEP CONVERSATION?

    I never really had a true friend and if you been reading my post I never had a gf or dated one. friendship/relationship were always struggle with me. Even during college my friends never really called me, I would either just go to their dorms and play video games or eat together. I just don't really understand it to be honest. I know that if I don't fix this, I'm going to be missing some areas in life.

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    They don't want to date you.

    The end.

  3. #3
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    ^ This is what I'd say too.. At least, they don't want to date you yet.

    I think this is part of that weird thing we do now-a-days where dating a guy/girl means you might as well already be shacking up, living together, and picking out rings. So, instead of dating being THE way to get to know each other.. a casual encounter with INTENTIONS of Possibly being more than friends, but no pressure to be anything more than friends.. "date" now means you might as well not be with anyone else or thinking about anyone else or you might be a whore.

    I'd just try asking to hang out... That's the new "date" honestly.
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  4. #4
    Senior Member wildflower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post

    What is that even mean?!?!?!?!?!?! I start out with small talk and talk about our interests..... isn't that how you get to know someone? One of the girl said, "we never had a deep conversation". WHAT IS DEEP CONVERSATION?
    do you talk about anything personal at all in these conversations? e.g. telling them things about yourself or asking them things about themselves? maybe the conversation is too impersonal so they still feel a bit like you are a stranger. also, how long would you say these conversations were? 5 minutes? if i had only spoken with someone very briefly a few times i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable dating them. part of that is just for safety's sake. maybe try to keep building a bit more rapport before you ask them out. good luck. i'm sure you'll get the hang of it with practice.

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i'd totally never go out with someone without chatting with them for awhile first...i don't mean once or twice...unless possibly if those couple times were like hours while somehow meeting through mutual friends or something.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  6. #6
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    also...yeah...the conversation has to be personal...or vibey...there has to be some spark of a connection at the very least.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I been talking to this girl couple times now and I really enjoy talking to her. After talking to her for like 3times I asked her out on a date. She said "I don't really know you that well". This isn't the first time I heard this from girls. I had multiple times when I asked out girls(yes, I did talk to them couple times before) and they told me "I don't even know you".
    She's a little heartbreaker, lolz! It means she doesn't want to hurt you, but for whatever reason she's not interested in going out with you. My opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    What is that even mean?!?!?!?!?!?! I start out with small talk and talk about our interests..... isn't that how you get to know someone? One of the girl said, "we never had a deep conversation". WHAT IS DEEP CONVERSATION?
    Girls don't typically say stuff like that to guys they like, which means, it means nothing. She's being polite. My opinion.

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    I never really had a true friend and if you been reading my post I never had a gf or dated one. friendship/relationship were always struggle with me. Even during college my friends never really called me, I would either just go to their dorms and play video games or eat together. I just don't really understand it to be honest. I know that if I don't fix this, I'm going to be missing some areas in life.
    Don't let this get you down. It's a great big old world out there. Keep trying!

  8. #8
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    that's what i say to guys when i'm not interested and wouldn't really be comfortable going on a date with them. i agree that you should try asking them to hang out as friends less formally first and your chances will be better.

  9. #9
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    that's what i say to guys when i'm not interested and wouldn't really be comfortable going on a date with them. i agree that you should try asking them to hang out as friends less formally first and your chances will be better.
    Do you want to hang out as less formal friends?
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  10. #10
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LEGERdeMAIN View Post
    Do you want to hang out as less formal friends?
    wanna make out?

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