User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 37

  1. #21
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    1,137

    Default

    Just talk to her a lot about whatever comes to mind, testing it with 2 important criteria: 1) is this something it would be possible to talk about? (i.e., "could this just be me rambling about some esoteric tidbit of my lifestyle?"), & 2) "would she enjoy talking about this rather than continuing doing whatever she was doing before I came over here?"

    Meaning, you have to gauge whether you're bothering her.

    But in the end... if none of the things you want to talk about are things she wants to talk about, you won't get along.
    RCUAI
    ---------
    "Man is free, but his freedom ceases when he has no faith in it."

  2. #22
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    281

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Helios View Post
    I don't get to know people. Problem solved.
    been doing this for awhile and it's exactly what I'm going to do. Socializing is mentally exhausting for me and they stress me out. I don't have any fun at all.

    Well I heard someone talk about me behind my back and they assume I have aspergers. I'm sick of people telling me I have some sort of mental disorder cause they don't understand me. Maby I do but I don't believe in those disorder. I don't talk to people cause I have no reason to talk to anyone, I gain NOTHING when I talk to people. Unless I'm asking questings about something. Normal small talk and general socializing have no benefit to me.

    And the cycle began....... Don't enjoy being around people yet I want a gf to deal with my sexual frustration.

  3. #23
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    I dont think getting a gf just to get rid of your sexual frustration is a good idea. Maybe get yourself a fleshlight or something?
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  4. #24
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FunnyDigestion View Post
    Just talk to her a lot about whatever comes to mind, testing it with 2 important criteria: 1) is this something it would be possible to talk about? (i.e., "could this just be me rambling about some esoteric tidbit of my lifestyle?"), & 2) "would she enjoy talking about this rather than continuing doing whatever she was doing before I came over here?"
    At least for me, if i have to think if i can say something or not, it ends up me just thinking and not talking for so long that subject has already changed or me going inside my head like "hmm, damn now i have been quiet for over 10seconds, i really have to say something fast, this is getting weird, but what should i say? Doesent matter, just say something. But i cant just say something, because it would just be some weird noises *grinches after 20seconds of silence*, okay now this is getting weird, what the heck should i say, i cant just say something, because saying just something wouldnt make any sense.. hmm.. i have been quiet for so long now that it would be really weird for me to say something simple like talk about weather. But that could save this awkward silence. I wonder why the other person didnt leave already"
    and this sort of stuff continuing until the other person says something..

    In other words, if other INTPs are like me, its better not to start thinking if its a thought is worthy of being verbalized or not.. i think its better to make up rules like, dont speak about certain stuff, dont tell jokes that might be offencive to some people etc.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  5. #25
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,518

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    will this isn't just about girls, I have trouble buildling up friendship. I don't understand what it means to be a good friend. If I'm friends with them they should know I will be there for them if they need my help. I don't think I ever had a female friend..... I don't even know how to maintain guy friends. I don't normally call anyone to hang out. I don't like to hang out anyway. I'm mostly quiet. Very introverted.

    Well the thing is I dont' want to ask very personal questions cause I don't want to violate their space. When do you know you can start asking personal stuff? yeah it can be 5minute small talk or more. The longest conversation I ever had with someone was 30minutes I think(in one setting). I sound very robotic, I can understand that she/he might not sense emotions. Not really emotional type
    My outlook is very similar to yours, so I am not the person to teach "friends 101". But I do have a couple of friends, so I will share my $0.02. The highlighted shows that you do have a sense of what it means to be a friend. You are there to help each other; you respect each other; you think of the effects of your words and actions on each other. This is more than many people I have met.

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    well that's exactly what I mean. What do you mean personal? My interest? my dislikes? my past history? my past experience? my opinion? I feel like I"m sharing these things (in my head). I do move pretty slow, I take my time when I open up with people.
    People are interested in different things, and have different thresholds for discussing personal info. I have been attracted to people based upon discussions of rather impersonal topics like technology, history, or current events, because the nature of the discussion shows me something about the other person's thought processes and values. There is nothing wrong with moving slowly and taking your time. You just need someone who appreciates this approach rather than faulting you for it or becoming impatient. It is easy to form a superficial relationship fast. If you, like me, want something deeper, that does take time.

    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    been doing this for awhile and it's exactly what I'm going to do. Socializing is mentally exhausting for me and they stress me out. I don't have any fun at all.

    I don't talk to people cause I have no reason to talk to anyone, I gain NOTHING when I talk to people. Unless I'm asking questings about something. Normal small talk and general socializing have no benefit to me.

    And the cycle began....... Don't enjoy being around people yet I want a gf to deal with my sexual frustration.
    If that's all you need, go find a hooker. If socializing is all stress/no fun, then you are spending time with the wrong people. The right people will broaden your horizons, challenge your assumptions, share your interests, and encourage you to be your best self. To me it is like mentally taking flight. Do not expect to find many of these, but they will make up in quality what they lack in quantity. The best way to find them is to go about your business, doing what you are doing, but find occasions to do it with others. Every now and then, someone will pique your curiosity and you theirs; then it will be what you make of it.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #26
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Posts
    281

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    I dont think getting a gf just to get rid of your sexual frustration is a good idea. Maybe get yourself a fleshlight or something?
    It isn't the only reason I want a gf. I want to have a deeper relationship with someone I can trust/love. I just want someone to accpet me for who I am. Most people in my age tend to just have friends with benefit but I don't even know how to get that. I'm getting pretty close to my mid 20s and it's been pretty hard for me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    People are interested in different things, and have different thresholds for discussing personal info. I have been attracted to people based upon discussions of rather impersonal topics like technology, history, or current events, because the nature of the discussion shows me something about the other person's thought processes and values. There is nothing wrong with moving slowly and taking your time. You just need someone who appreciates this approach rather than faulting you for it or becoming impatient. It is easy to form a superficial relationship fast. If you, like me, want something deeper, that does take time.


    If that's all you need, go find a hooker. If socializing is all stress/no fun, then you are spending time with the wrong people. The right people will broaden your horizons, challenge your assumptions, share your interests, and encourage you to be your best self. To me it is like mentally taking flight. Do not expect to find many of these, but they will make up in quality what they lack in quantity. The best way to find them is to go about your business, doing what you are doing, but find occasions to do it with others. Every now and then, someone will pique your curiosity and you theirs; then it will be what you make of it.
    I can easily figure out how people process information. I think that's part of the problem, I get bored easily and it gets harder to hold a conversation. I always wanted a deeper friendship but I never had one. Sometimes I don't understand the point of discussion, we share our differences but nothing more. People often say I'm like talking to a wall. I don't go out too often but I been trying to put myself out there and It's been very stressful. It brings me down, I even dream about it. That's why I chose to be a loner but now I don't think it's a choice anymore. I feel like I don't belong anywhere and that nobody can understand me.

    I did enjoy talking to one ISTP but he straight up told me he didn't care about me. We did talk quite a bit but he thought I was insane. Maby he only spoke to me cause he also didn't have any friends either. I asked him to exchange contact info at the end of the year and he says "what for". That was that.

  7. #27
    Glycerine
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    They don't want to date you.

    The end.
    Hah! You are so straight to the point.

  8. #28
    morose bourgeoisie
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,859

    Default

    @think2much : The best way to get them to like you is to reveal things about yourself. That makes a girl (or friend, anyone really) feel like it's OK to share something about herself with you.

  9. #29
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,152

    Default

    You could ask them this question..instead of asking us. You are getting to know us by asking this question, when, if you were to pose this question to the person you want to get to know..you would be 1) getting to know that person and 2) getting more, and arguably better, advice on getting to know people.

    Just a suggestion.

  10. #30
    Senior Member Turtledove's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    376

    Default

    I think you should make a poll since you are getting so many types of answers. Let me add one more:
    The way you speak on the subject about liking a girl sound more to me that you want to develop friendships and romantic relationships; the best way is to volunteer or work. Sign up for something you feel passionate about. I'm not familiar with what an ideal work environment would be for an INTP but sure as heck I know you can find something in your community/school to do. If ya do take this advice, you get to at least talk to people as you are doing tasks. Possibly you'll work with opposite gender workers. It'll help develop some more confidence.
    Final piece: let people be themselves and you be yourself. Nobody is forcing you to change who you are, or at least shouldn't. And don't try to put relationships under a microscope because you must use your heart to develop them. It takes a magnetic connection for deep people to develop deep friendships.
    Save Thundercats 2011 petition. Because we do what we can. HO!!!:
    http://www.change.org/petitions/warn...another-season

Similar Threads

  1. [ISTP] How do you get an ISTP to fall for you?
    By lecky in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 79
    Last Post: 10-03-2016, 02:09 PM
  2. [ENTJ] ENTJ, how do you get back on track when you've lost yourself to your worse functions?
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 04-15-2009, 08:54 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO