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  1. #11
    Senior Member LEGERdeMAIN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    wanna make out?
    omg, i don't even know you!!! we've never had a deep conversation, etc
    Last edited by LEGERdeMAIN; 10-28-2011 at 07:11 PM. Reason: wow, that makes me feel so powerful
    “Some people will tell you that slow is good – but I’m here to tell you that fast is better. I’ve always believed this, in spite of the trouble it’s caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…”


  2. #12
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LEGERdeMAIN View Post
    omg, i don't even know you!!! we've never had a deep conversation, etc
    awkward...

    brb, making a post titled 'how to get to know legerdemain'

  3. #13
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kyuuei View Post
    ^ This is what I'd say too.. At least, they don't want to date you yet.

    I think this is part of that weird thing we do now-a-days where dating a guy/girl means you might as well already be shacking up, living together, and picking out rings. So, instead of dating being THE way to get to know each other.. a casual encounter with INTENTIONS of Possibly being more than friends, but no pressure to be anything more than friends.. "date" now means you might as well not be with anyone else or thinking about anyone else or you might be a whore.

    I'd just try asking to hang out... That's the new "date" honestly.

    will this isn't just about girls, I have trouble buildling up friendship. I don't understand what it means to be a good friend. If I'm friends with them they should know I will be there for them if they need my help. I don't think I ever had a female friend..... I don't even know how to maintain guy friends. I don't normally call anyone to hang out. I don't like to hang out anyway. I'm mostly quiet. Very introverted.

    someone should write a book called friend 101 for dummies.

    Quote Originally Posted by wildflower View Post
    do you talk about anything personal at all in these conversations? e.g. telling them things about yourself or asking them things about themselves? maybe the conversation is too impersonal so they still feel a bit like you are a stranger. also, how long would you say these conversations were? 5 minutes? if i had only spoken with someone very briefly a few times i'm not sure i'd feel comfortable dating them. part of that is just for safety's sake. maybe try to keep building a bit more rapport before you ask them out. good luck. i'm sure you'll get the hang of it with practice.
    Well the thing is I dont' want to ask very personal questions cause I don't want to violate their space. When do you know you can start asking personal stuff? yeah it can be 5minute small talk or more. The longest conversation I ever had with someone was 30minutes I think(in one setting). I sound very robotic, I can understand that she/he might not sense emotions. Not really emotional type


    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    also...yeah...the conversation has to be personal...or vibey...there has to be some spark of a connection at the very least.
    well that's exactly what I mean. What do you mean personal? My interest? my dislikes? my past history? my past experience? my opinion? I feel like I"m sharing these things (in my head). I do move pretty slow, I take my time when I open up with people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    She's a little heartbreaker, lolz! It means she doesn't want to hurt you, but for whatever reason she's not interested in going out with you. My opinion.

    Girls don't typically say stuff like that to guys they like, which means, it means nothing. She's being polite. My opinion.

    Don't let this get you down. It's a great big old world out there. Keep trying!
    Mostly when I get rejected they politely tell me they're not interested or they have boyfriend. I feel like this one was trying to tell me to get to know her better and try again. It's a rejection but it isn't just a rejection. From my previous experience with girls I always asked them out without getting to "know them". Now I understand I need some sort of connection before I make my move and I'm trying to figure that out how that works.

    Sorry guys Social just doesn't come natural to me.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Helios's Avatar
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    I don't get to know people. Problem solved.

  5. #15
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    But, he likes her.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by think2much View Post
    Mostly when I get rejected they politely tell me they're not interested or they have boyfriend. I feel like this one was trying to tell me to get to know her better and try again. It's a rejection but it isn't just a rejection. From my previous experience with girls I always asked them out without getting to "know them". Now I understand I need some sort of connection before I make my move and I'm trying to figure that out how that works.
    Hmmm, yes, I've seen the light. Maybe she is testing or was caught off guard. Your determination in the face of uncertainty is attractive. I guess she needs a little persuasion; it's worth another shot. Emotionally connect. Try to get her talking about how she's feeling about stuff, not related to you or your relationship. She probably wants assurance that you see past the surface and care to get to know the 'real' her on the inside; hence she's testing [possibly]. A lot of men fail to do that, which puts you ahead of the game, if you can. A quality girl will want a quality guy.

  7. #17
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    okay...who is this person and how do you know her? i'm just saying...for me personally...there has to be a vibe. it has to feel natural and unforced...i hate pushy...i hate calculated...i hate feeling like someone is talking to me to gain something or achieve something...but truth be told if the vibe is there it doesn't matter what we're talking about...at first....but eventually...yes...i will want to know that you're someone i could have deep discussions with...or random funny ones...just...a natural flow of two personalities vibe'ing off the other....i just don't know how this works for other people...i'm a sx dom and that whole energy thing is just very apparent immediately...or it's not.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  8. #18
    Senior Member Helios's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xisnotx View Post
    But, he likes her.

  9. #19
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    Only read the OP:


    Girl: Ah yes me too! blah blah blah.
    Boy: Lol, you know we should go out sometime. Would you like to go out on a date?
    Girl: I don't really know you that well.
    Boy: That's the point of the date


    If there is more to it than that, I don't know what to tell you.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helios View Post
    He could, theoretically, "get the girl"..without "getting to know her". The problem really isn't "getting the girl", but "getting to know her"...a problem he only has because he likes her.

    He, effectively, likes the girl and that is what prevents him from getting to know her. However, if this is the case, does he like the girl, or does he like the "like" the girl produces in him?

    Like you said..he isn't getting to know her (or people). And that's why the problem was solved.

    Thus, "But, he likes her"..was meant as a sort sarcastic statement, alluding to the fact that he doesn't like her...something your statement pointed out, assuming it was addressing the op's requests, and subsequent discussion. Too tired to check..

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