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[INTJ] INTJ's and contact

simbad

New member
Joined
Apr 16, 2011
Messages
36
Enneagram
4w3
Hello all INTJ's

Answers to the following questions would be highly appreciated.

1. If an INTJ is dealing with blows of fate and an INFP who likes them and who they like sends them an email will they answer straight away or wait until they have solved their problems?

2. Is it possible that due to this problem they decide to cut off all connections with their INFP?

3. Is it possible that after a long time and re-thinking they decide to take up contact again even if a period of 6 months has lapsed?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Yes it is possible. Intjs aren't bound by the same time constraints other people may believe in so don't be offended if they don't answer right away. It doesn't mean they have forgotten about you. If he really likes you, then he will probably not want to comunicate with you while he is getting his shit together. Instead he will resume communication again, once he has more favorable circumstances to report back.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Why not? What motivates this?

Like what?

For me - past, present and future sort of blur together. They are not as separate for me I think as they are for other people. That may sound strange but it's true. I don't know what motivates it.
 

Mal12345

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 19, 2011
Messages
14,532
MBTI Type
IxTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
For me - past, present and future sort of blur together. They are not as separate for me I think as they are for other people. That may sound strange but it's true. I don't know what motivates it.

So that explains why the INTJ I work with sometimes is chronically late for work.
 

Santosha

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2011
Messages
1,516
MBTI Type
HUMR
Enneagram
6
Instinctual Variant
sx
For me - past, present and future sort of blur together. They are not as separate for me I think as they are for other people. That may sound strange but it's true. I don't know what motivates it.

Good info. Do you find it easy to pick right up from where you last were with someone, regardless of time?
 

thisGuy

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2009
Messages
1,187
MBTI Type
entp
For me - past, present and future sort of blur together. They are not as separate for me I think as they are for other people. That may sound strange but it's true. I don't know what motivates it.

Expand please?

I thought the Te would demand a stricter structure...

Lets say you have a deadline on Friday. Within then and now, you also have to: do grocery, pick a time and volunteer at the shelter, read a chapter of a book, catch up on correspondence(emails/voicemails), get your suit dry cleaned, call your mother (which you may (not) be looking forward to)

Deadline is work related, correspondence is people related (acquaintance), suit is for a formal gathering.

How is this represented in your head? What do you do first? last?
 
T

ThatGirl

Guest
Why not? What motivates this?

Like what?


Simple Te. They have something to do, it cannot be done effectively with baggage, so they ditch it. Once it is done, they will resume where they left off. Its different, sure, but for them, they are always returning to the same goal, under better circumstances.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Expand please?

I thought the Te would demand a stricter structure...

Lets say you have a deadline on Friday. Within then and now, you also have to: do grocery, pick a time and volunteer at the shelter, read a chapter of a book, catch up on correspondence(emails/voicemails), get your suit dry cleaned, call your mother (which you may (not) be looking forward to)

Deadline is work related, correspondence is people related (acquaintance), suit is for a formal gathering.

How is this represented in your head? What do you do first? last?

I'd figure out what had to be done first and then do it order of critical path items first. I also might do the things I enjoy more earlier and postpone the things I don't like to do as much till later. I might procrastinate on boring stuff.
 

thisGuy

New member
Joined
Mar 14, 2009
Messages
1,187
MBTI Type
entp
Simple Te. They have something to do, it cannot be done effectively with baggage, so they ditch it. Once it is done, they will resume where they left off. Its different, sure, but for them, they are always returning to the same goal, under better circumstances.

Thats Te? Thats what I do. Except that I have a hard time deciding what is baggage.


I'd figure out what had to be done first and then do it order of critical path items first. I also might do the things I enjoy more earlier and postpone the things I don't like to do as much till later. I might procrastinate on boring stuff.

Well, thats pretty much what I do.

And what, I think, everyone else does.
 

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn
Good info. Do you find it easy to pick right up from where you last were with someone, regardless of time?

YES! In my family of four (INTJ, INTJ, ESTP, ESFJ) there is a huge difference between how the Ni-Se/Se-Ni users deal with a family member's absence and the Si-Ne person (who's a Fe dom on top of that). The ESFJ suffers through absence, the others barely feel time (the ESTP in particular seems to lack an awareness of time - he does miss people sometimes, but it's generally because he's bored or lonely at some moment in time).

Expand please?

I thought the Te would demand a stricter structure...

Lets say you have a deadline on Friday. Within then and now, you also have to: do grocery, pick a time and volunteer at the shelter, read a chapter of a book, catch up on correspondence(emails/voicemails), get your suit dry cleaned, call your mother (which you may (not) be looking forward to)

Deadline is work related, correspondence is people related (acquaintance), suit is for a formal gathering.

How is this represented in your head? What do you do first? last?

I would definitely check whether I really *had to* do all of the items listed. This is usually about basic damage control (do I do irreparable damage to relationships or work by cancelling x? If not, I'd probably cancel some of the stuff listed if things were getting too stressful - note that I do try not to get into situations like that so that I don't have to bother/hurt others and myself by cancelling stuff). From the list offered I would prioritise the deadline and organise the other stuff around it (which looks kind of spatial in my mind, not linear, it's not so much about first and last). I'm also more likely to cram everything into one hugely busy day rather than do one thing every day (and then I would organise things according to the most efficient route). I'm not that efficient with lots if interruptions, but I can get a lot of stuff done when I can focus on one thing for an entire day. So I would pick a point and make everything revolve around it. If I'm not in a busy situation I just would do these things as they become more pressing. Always keeping in mind how they relate to the big picture. But I'm only really very efficient when I can pick a point and make everything revolve around it.

Simple Te. They have something to do, it cannot be done effectively with baggage, so they ditch it. Once it is done, they will resume where they left off. Its different, sure, but for them, they are always returning to the same goal, under better circumstances.

Good observation.
 

Metamorphosis

New member
Joined
May 9, 2007
Messages
3,474
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hello all INTJ's

Answers to the following questions would be highly appreciated.

1. If an INTJ is dealing with blows of fate and an INFP who likes them and who they like sends them an email will they answer straight away or wait until they have solved their problems?

2. Is it possible that due to this problem they decide to cut off all connections with their INFP?

3. Is it possible that after a long time and re-thinking they decide to take up contact again even if a period of 6 months has lapsed?

Super vague questions about what appears to be a pretty specific incident.

Also, are you really asking "is it possible" or "is it likely" because the two are not the same, and personally (I am an INTJ), I will concede just about anything to the realm of possibility.
 

gandalf

New member
Joined
Jul 4, 2011
Messages
95
MBTI Type
INTJ
I would definitely check whether I really *had to* do all of the items listed. This is usually about basic damage control (do I do irreparable damage to relationships or work by cancelling x? If not, I'd probably cancel some of the stuff listed if things were getting too stressful - note that I do try not to get into situations like that so that I don't have to bother/hurt others and myself by cancelling stuff). From the list offered I would prioritise the deadline and organise the other stuff around it (which looks kind of spatial in my mind, not linear, it's not so much about first and last). I'm also more likely to cram everything into one hugely busy day rather than do one thing every day (and then I would organise things according to the most efficient route). I'm not that efficient with lots if interruptions, but I can get a lot of stuff done when I can focus on one thing for an entire day. So I would pick a point and make everything revolve around it. If I'm not in a busy situation I just would do these things as they become more pressing. Always keeping in mind how they relate to the big picture. But I'm only really very efficient when I can pick a point and make everything revolve around it.

I agree.

One thing I think is already readable between the lines above but I'd yet like to clarify is that I am - and I think INTJs in general are - more a problem solver than a practical planner. I keep the big picture clear in my mind and that includes a sort of a schedule but that schedule is far from something I could explain to someone else in details. My schedule is an approximation. I know that there will be problems with the final details but I trust my ability to solve those problems as they appear to such an extent that I it's more effective use of time to solve problems than to try to prevent them from getting on my way.
 

gandalf

New member
Joined
Jul 4, 2011
Messages
95
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hello all INTJ's

Answers to the following questions would be highly appreciated.

1. If an INTJ is dealing with blows of fate and an INFP who likes them and who they like sends them an email will they answer straight away or wait until they have solved their problems?

2. Is it possible that due to this problem they decide to cut off all connections with their INFP?

3. Is it possible that after a long time and re-thinking they decide to take up contact again even if a period of 6 months has lapsed?

1.
If solving the problem would take a day or two, I would just let it wait. If I knew it was going to take more, I would reply telling I can't answer right away. But off course, this depends on many things.

2.
I wouldn't cut off all connections but my dealing with people is usually kind of thread-based. I would be in touch if I had something else to get in touch for but I wouldn't mention that "idling" problem unless asked about it. And again, this depends on many details.

3.
If I had a reason to assume that such an action would make a difference way or another, then, yes, I would.

For me it's not a problem at all to let relationships "sleep". If I am good friends with someone, having a long break won't affect that if reason for the break is simply difficulties in getting in touch, other things to worry about or having nothing to say.
 

Uytuun

New member
Joined
Apr 19, 2008
Messages
1,633
MBTI Type
nnnn
One thing I think is already readable between the lines above but I'd yet like to clarify is that I am - and I think INTJs in general are - more a problem solver than a practical planner. I keep the big picture clear in my mind and that includes a sort of a schedule but that schedule is far from something I could explain to someone else in details. My schedule is an approximation. I know that there will be problems with the final details but I trust my ability to solve those problems as they appear to such an extent that I it's more effective use of time to solve problems than to try to prevent them from getting on my way.

That's an excellent point. In turn, I think it becomes clear from what you write that we're very mentally unconstrained when it comes to approaching (Te) problems - creative problem solving.
 
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