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Thread: ENTJ quandry

  1. #11
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I've recently met an ENTJ guy - he wants to date but we're in seperate states, so to him this means it's not going to happen. This didn't stop him from calling or texting me everyday, being flirty and joking around. But since I've known him ( since January) he's had at least two meltdowns, meaning abruptly becoming very emotional and angry, each time because our relationship lacked definition. He's still having one night stands ( which I knew about), so I didn't think us having a definition was important. He said speakng to me, skyping with me, was teasing and antagonizing him because he was too far away, but he's always the one initiating the heavy flirting - I suggested we keep things mellow, so it wouldn't "tease" anyone, but he seems to shift into gear anyway. So, the question is this : he's either emotionally shut down, or he's having a minor explosion, and other than approaching him calmly, and being honest with him, I don't know what else to do? I would appreciate enlightenment on the workings of the NTJ in regards to their emotions.
    Holy shit. Delete him delete him delete him. He sounds exactly like the one I was with a few years ago - had meltdowns which escalated into stalking and threatening my friends. Things with a Fi-tainted ENTJ can get pretty nasty, fast.

    And so can their dirty boxers, which is what I first thought of when I misread the title as "ENTJ laundry".
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  2. #12
    ThatGirl
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    I read the OP.

    Honestly, if your man is an ENTJ and he really wants you, he wont be easily deterred by things like, distance. After all they believe they can make anything happen. If you keep putting on the breaks though, and denying a momentum that keeps occurring, chances are you are frustrating the shit out of him.

    There is nothing worse than, "here is a fun game, lets act like we don't like each other!"

  3. #13
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
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    It's like investing; you trust all of your money with something stable, and maybe risk a faction of your portfolio on some crazy high risk stock.

    You're getting a dose of that flirtatious fraction. Step up to the plate and prove to him that you're worth it.

    Trust me, you'll get a very direct reply. Very few people are bold, direct, blunt and transparent about relationships. That's a very favorable statistic.

    First of all, most SFs and NFs probably don't have a concrete opinion about a person and play games. SFs and NFs just "let things play out" and have an affinity for the maxim "let's see how it works out."

    Those expressions are taboo in my book.

    He said you're "marriage material." Now it's you're turn.

    Be as concrete and direct as possible.
    got chaos?

  4. #14
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    He is really conflicted, he probably by turns is trying to express a need and then regreting doing so he's trying to deny it, ie saying he's seeing other people, do you even know that for sure? It could be a lie but even if its a fact he could be doing it to convince himself or others that the other greater, denied and disowned need isnt what it is.

    I've experienced really big conflicts of a similar kind which sometimes I think is a consequence of the thinking function being the one I'm most used with or most comfortable with.

  5. #15
    Senior Member shoshana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I read the OP.

    Honestly, if your man is an ENTJ and he really wants you, he wont be easily deterred by things like, distance. After all they believe they can make anything happen. If you keep putting on the breaks though, and denying a momentum that keeps occurring, chances are you are frustrating the shit out of him.

    There is nothing worse than, "here is a fun game, lets act like we don't like each other!"
    ^^ yes yes yes

  6. #16
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Haha, "conflicted" is a word I would not choose. This guy sounds like a real winner; a rapist whose defense would be "she wanted it." Because of course, how could she not?



  7. #17
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    I read the OP.

    Honestly, if your man is an ENTJ and he really wants you, he wont be easily deterred by things like, distance. After all they believe they can make anything happen. If you keep putting on the breaks though, and denying a momentum that keeps occurring, chances are you are frustrating the shit out of him.

    There is nothing worse than, "here is a fun game, lets act like we don't like each other!"
    The ENTJ determination is spot on, although that freaks people out and they can misconstrue it as obsessiveness or pushiness (I'm not just talking about relationships here I'm talking anything), being single minded can appear boring too, if you know what I mean, like the insane hobbiest.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Mr. Cat's Avatar
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    After reading the ENTJ profile the person LadyJaye is talking about doesn't seem as badass.

  9. #19
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    The ENTJ determination is spot on, although that freaks people out and they can misconstrue it as obsessiveness or pushiness (I'm not just talking about relationships here I'm talking anything), being single minded can appear boring too, if you know what I mean, like the insane hobbiest.
    He was full of determination. He decided that if I couldn't come to see him, he would come to me. BUT, then he got drunk and drove into the back of a parked car. So there went the money for the trip.

    I was LIVID about the drunk driving.

    Yeah, hmmmm. Now that this is in print, it's sounding even worse.
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  10. #20
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Cat View Post
    After reading the ENTJ profile the person LadyJaye is talking about doesn't seem as badass.
    So true, Mr. Cat. So true.

    Have some catnip treats....

    *cuddles you with fervor and zeal*
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