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Thread: INTP Flirt?

  1. #11
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    But, you know, also keep in mind that sometimes an INTP might just enjoy your company and your friendship - they may want to be your friend for years - someone they can relax and be silly with - yet never wanting more.
    What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #12
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P
    Well, he probably was very infatuated with you and/or began to fall in love with you. Regardless of type, it's very common in human relations that one person will develop feelings faster and then if it's not responded to in kind, that person is hurt or feels betrayed to some degree. As slow as INTP's are, we can certainly fall head-over-heels in love too. It does happen.*

    *With about the same frequency as Haley's comet being visible from earth.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    What is funny about this, is that I dated this particular INTP looong ago, and he was actually wanting to be very serious and ultimately wanted to get married, have kids, etc. We had only been seeing eachother very briefly when he told me this (that it's what he wanted - not necessarily asking me to) , and I told him he was crazy for wanting to settle so young.. and that I wouldn't be at that point for along time. THEN, I pushed for just a friendship because I really, really enjoyed his company.. and he told me NO! That he already had as many friends as he needed and didn't need anymore friends and that he wasn't into me from just a friendship standpoint. It really hurt my feelers actually. So ya, it kinda disolved from there. Sure enough, he friended me on FB about 3 years ago and makes it a point to "like" and comment on every dam thing I say or do. I was just trying to figure out his intentions without making an ass of myself =P
    Ask him?

    As a side note, if he didn't ask you to have his kids, he probably was just telling you his vision for the future. We have problems with the whole right time/place thing.

    Double side note: I only like most or all of someones statuses when I like them that way.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    Short answer: I don't flirt unless I'm serious - or really, really know the person (and am very comfy) in which case I'm doing some serious kidding around with them.

    That doesn't mean, however, I always took it much further: when I was younger I had alot of trouble taking the next step. I always had issues with not feeling all that attractive/likable and was worried about rejection and I had trouble knowing HOW to take the next step. I know I spent alot of time feeling wretched when I didn't have to and I probably confused a few women. With age and experience however I learned how to make decisions and take risks with incomplete data and I learned that fear of rejection is often 1) misplaced and 2) often worse than rejection itself. Now, if anything, I have the opposite problem: I can be a bit of kamikaze believing that “a faint heart never won a maiden fair”. Of course the frequency of flirting went down as I got older and more discriminating about who I flirted with (I started figuring out who I stood a chance with and who was just going to be unhealthy).
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Do INTP's flirst with people for long periods of time without ever having any real intention of it progressing?

    Just curious =)
    Wait... INTPs... flirt?! Are you sure this guy isn't actually an ENTP?





    P.S. I am kidding... I just couldn't resist making a joke....

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    Senior Member Stigmata's Avatar
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    I tried to flirt.....once



    .....Just once. It didn't end well, at all. Hot coffee was hurled in my general direction, and let's just say I had to mimic the maneuver Keanu Reeves used in the matrix to dodge bullets as a method to protect myself.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Wait... INTPs... flirt?!
    I really should clarify this. I have never observed INTP's flirt in the traditional sense. Maybe that is just my experience, but from what I've seen, it seems that INTP's are highly uncomfortable putting on any kind of facade, revealing emotions or gushy sentimentalism. It seems to be inauthentic to them, and probably IS per inferior Fe. Just a guess though. When I see an INTP flirt, what I am referring to is more of a coming out of their cave and showing a marked interest in someone with various comments of subtle endearment masked through cynacism and wit. Again, just a guess *shrugs*.

    What I'd really like to know is, is it possible for the INTP to EVER let go of that cynicism and wit? Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  8. #18
    Senior Member Simi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    But would the INTP flirt just to flirt is my point.
    I had an INTP that had no interest in me, but totally flirted and mislead me.
    He flirts just to flirt.. So yes, at least SOME of them do.
    It probably differs from person to person.

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    A young INTP might lead someone on and not care about the ramifications of that.
    ^^^^^^^^^
    Your epidermis is showing. <3

  9. #19
    Senior Member Jessica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    What I'd really like to know is, is it possible for the INTP to EVER let go of that cynicism and wit? Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?
    Yes on vulnerability, possibly on understanding. I don't understand the value in it, but I definitely allow myself to be very emotionally vulnerable. Probably too much. Not all INTPs are the same, obviously, and the average amount of gush-time for me is sixteen days in a relationship... but I'd say the average is considerably longer*– i.e. 3-6 months.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Will they ever allow themselves to be vulnerable or understand the value in demonstrating raw emotion and affection?
    yes. but maybe not too raw negative emotions, i still dont see any point in yelling and screaming, instead id rather talk calmly and pretty much the same way if i were explaining something else with the usual Ti way. positive emotions.. well ill give you hugs and kisses and say how awesome you are
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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