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  1. #1
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    Default INTJ's - do you feel you unintentionally create argument?

    Hi,

    I've noticed that I often attract argumentative responses from people. Maybe I'm just inherently annoying and people just feel compelled to set me straight, but often I feel that simple remarks I make (usually commentary), provoke others to disagree with me. This has always happened with me, but I'm noticing it more and more now. I suspect it is because I come off as unintentionally authoritative on a subject (talking out of my ass?). I try to command my language precisely when around others.

    Do any INTJ's or perhaps INTP's specifically identify with this? Is this an INTX thing, at all? Do you ever get taken aback by people's responses to what you think are perfectly reasonable statements that require no further clarification or argument?

    I ask because the INTJ's in my life I have identified with, and respect in many ways. I have been tested by others (not by myself) as being INTJ, even though I self-test as an INFP. I have never thought that was right, but who knows. I know the two share some functions.

    I used to feel that I may be an INFP with Asperger's Syndrome, but I took the AQ and only scored marginally above the average (23).

    So...I guess I'm just looking for clues into my personality, and I really appreciate any help from any NT's out there.

    Anybody feel this way on a regular basis? Being misunderstood, in a hostile/antagonistic way?

    Thank you

    Luke

  2. #2
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Yes, it happens. Usually in these cases my jokes are not recognized as such and I am criticized for saying, or asked why I said, something strange or rude. Often the situation can be dissolved quite easily, but sometimes the offended will not let go of his misjudgment; then argument ensues.

  3. #3
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yes, it happens. Usually in these cases my jokes are not recognized as such and I am criticized for saying, or asked why I said, something strange or rude. Often the situation can be dissolved quite easily, but sometimes the offended will not let go of his misjudgment; then argument ensues.
    Same for me!

    I've also been in these mind melds with people, where I personally thought we were just pitching our own personal perspective back and forth about some grey subject in order to potentially come up with something better at the end of it, just harmless thought juggling! But then after some time, usually a minute or two, they're all like angry and shits at how arguementative and close minded I am. And I'm like, what did I miss? :O
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #4
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I've also been in these mind melds with people, where I personally thought we were just pitching our own personal perspective back and forth about some grey subject in order to potentially come up with something better at the end of it, just harmless thought juggling! But then after some time, usually a minute or two, they're all like angry and shits at how arguementative and close minded I am. And I'm like, what did I miss? :O
    It often happens to me that people just agree with me when I try to have a discussion. Very unfulfilling.

  5. #5
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    It often happens to me that people just agree with me when I try to have a discussion. Very unfulfilling.
    That not so much for us INTP's, we often go outside of peoples comfort zones with our Ne. But at least we do share the sense of unfulfillment.:P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #6
    Senior Member goats's Avatar
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    Yes this usually happens when I make a statement and someone perceives it the wrong way and conclude that I am trying to argue with them. I'm kinda used to it. Usually I find NFs take things way too personally.
    I 50 N 100 T 62 P 39

  7. #7
    ThatGirl
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    Maybe you have an unbalanced third chakra too.

  8. #8
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    I don't perceive debate itself as being something negative or unfriendly. It's just interaction to me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member shoshana's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not_Me View Post
    I don't perceive debate itself as being something negative or unfriendly. It's just interaction to me.
    same for me. and often i am the one who is knowingly turning an innocent comment into a more spirited conversation

  10. #10
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I've seen pretty much every Te/Fi or Fi/Te-using type accidentally create an argument by making a blunt statement of what they think about something and therefore offending someone who thinks the opposite -- or provoking someone to call them on their bullshit -- when all they'd meant was just to say what they think and continue on with the conversation.

    With INTx types, I've seen what Fluffywolf and Nicodemus have been talking about -- making jokes so dry that people think they're serious.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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