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  1. #11
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YWIR View Post
    Change your profile type. No one will question it. Take my word for it.
    I tried out ENFP once, even used all the emoticons that go with it. Didn't sell though.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #12
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    You'll want to implant a rechargeable battery into your chest so we can remove your heart. From there... Add some circuitry from said battery to your brain, replacing the neurons. An oil tank, instead of kidney's. Filtering systems... It's gonna cost quite a bit.

  3. #13
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    I struggle with the concept of FWB relationships. I mean, I've had ongoing relationships with people that were purely physical, but I was basically indifferent to those people as human beings. Treating a friend like that would be unthinkable. There's clearly something that I'm missing about this whole phenomena. It basically sounds like a cute euphemism for shitting where you eat.


    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    You'll want to implant a rechargeable battery into your chest so we can remove your heart. From there... Add some circuitry from said battery to your brain, replacing the neurons. An oil tank, instead of kidney's. Filtering systems... It's gonna cost quite a bit.
    Ooh and dont forget the funny hat. The funny hat is crucial.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  4. #14
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wind-up Rex View Post
    Ooh and dont forget the funny hat. The funny hat is crucial.
    It'll be SPOTTED! Or stripped? Stripped. It'll signify uniformity of thought. I can't believe I forgot about the funny hat... It's also where the true brain of the being is found. It's an evolutionary thing.

  5. #15
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecTcelfeR View Post
    It'll be SPOTTED! Or stripped? Stripped. It'll signify uniformity of thought. I can't believe I forgot about the funny hat... It's also where the true brain of the being is found. It's an evolutionary thing.
    I feel like there are a lot of options out there for the discerning NT:

    The Bipolar Sombrero


    The @JocktheMotie


    The Side Facehugger
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth

  6. #16
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I'm likin' the Motie quite a bit.

    Those ENTP's and their crazy sombreros.

    Which crazy hat do you enjoy?

  7. #17
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    My answer is: please don't.

  8. #18
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    With all that said, I think FWB situations are the most prone to infect other areas of your life. I think it's nearly impossible to be in a situation like that and to be unaffected by it. So, my conclusion is that in a situation like that, you almost CAN'T be NT - even if you try. Even an NT can try to be NT about it, but if he's human it's going to affect him internally. So, I don't know, you can try to learn how to be all tough-minded, but when it comes to relationships, I'm not sure that's the right approach. Relationships involve the heart and to try to ignore the heart and approach it from a "mind-only" perspective, is probably not going to end well. Do you really even want to be a rockish "nothing can touch me" NT in your relationships? That's not who you are, so it might not be good for you to even attempt that. Anytime people try to be something they aren't, it ends badly. I say leave that mindset to the NT's and focus on being the best xNFP that you can be, which is very different from what an NT is.
    This.

    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    You have an INTP fuck buddy. You and he decided from the beginning to have a no strings open relationship. You don't want that anymore. You tell him that. His answer dictates your next move.
    This.

    My opinion: I think NFs can be overawed by those who can detach in these kinds of situations. And then want to follow suit. But we're different animals. NFs are invested and attached when healthy.

    Iirc, you have written about this relationship before, and it's still an unnatural fit for you. This works for him, not you.

    I hope you know that's ok. Can't help but think you cyclically hope for more and then squash those feelings. If so, it's because you're attached. Why else would anyone ignore the "pangs" of their real selves coming to the surface? It's fine to explore different styles of relationships, just got to make sure you don't abandon your real self in the process. I personally wouldn't sacrifice connecting at soul level with someone I'm really into for this. It seems like one half of not very much.

  9. #19
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceecee View Post
    Why would ANYONE think NT's could explain relationships and emotions in an easy to grasp language? This is the life category we fail in. Badly and often. I compartmentalize, analyze and logically look at things because we know no other way to look at them. It does not make my love life a manageable and easy thing, I assure you.
    Oh man... you aren't whistling Dixie there ceecee.

    Asking an INTP for emotional life advice is like asking a squirrel about birds flying. They both live in trees but...

    Compartmentalizing is a coping mechanism than an indicator of a healthy emotional life. I for one am far better at managing my emotions than actually dealing with them and compartmentalization is a key part of that management. However, eventually no matter how much energy I put into managing (suppressing) my emotional life there reaches a point I call “burn through” – when my emotions burn through all the psychological armor I put up to ward them. Depending on the stressor – thing can get really, really ugly fast. Then all the logic and analysis is not only useless in dealing with the fallout, my ability to be logical and analytical in any situation is adversely affected – very often with a pretty nasty coefficient.
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

  10. #20
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I Never Find Peace View Post
    INFP here. Longtime NT admirer.

    I'd like more control over my emotions, especially feeling insecure, possessive, and jealous in relationships. You guys seem to have it down.
    For the most part, we don't. We are just good at appearing that way. Promise.

    It probably comes naturally to you, but I know how good you are at breaking things down and analyzing how they work, so I trust you'll be able to explain your process.
    Rationalization, paralyzing fear of vulnerability.

    This question is driven by the fact that I'm currently seeing this guy who is INTP, and has not a jealous bone in his body. Our relationship started as a friendship and we grew closer and it blossomed into love...but it's a different kind of love than I've ever experienced. It's got this purity to it, almost an innocence. It's strong, and true, and free of culturally-driven romantic expectations. Neither of us want to get married or have kids and we're handling it like a friendship without promises of forever. We're openly non-exclusive and we even talk to each other about the other people we date! We can talk about anything together and accept each other. We occasionally have conflicts that we are able to work through. We have a lot of fun together, and an awesome "mindmeld." And I'm just so happy! It's like being a kid again and having a bestie, except there's great sex too.
    Be careful of relationships where you feel too much like a kid. Certainly, relationships have their childlike and playful facets, but ultimately, it's two adults who are in the relationship with one another. As we'll see below, you've got to be ready and secure in oneself when the more complex and ambiguous adult emotions start manifesting.

    The only conflicts we've had are because I sometimes get these pangs of insecurity regarding other women he likes. It's completely irrational because
    How are they irrational? They're other women, potential competitors, and it doesn't sound like you've been married for years yet. Of course, you're going to feel uncomfortable in this sort of set-up.

    1. I accepted that he didn't want a relationship going in and agreed to his terms because the time we spend together is so great.
    You accepted that fact at the time, but have you accepted that things have changed, and that you possibly do want a relationship now? The time you spend together may be great, but is it worth it if you're feeling miserable and jealous on his account whenever you're apart, and he doesn't care enough about your feelings to reassure you?

    2. I know what he and I have is special and he's able to compartmentalize, so it's not like I'm going to be suddenly ignored in favor of someone else.
    Do you really know that, though? You do not actually know what's truly going on inside of his head. No one knows that about anyone else - the best we can do is trust that others let us in to their deepest thoughts, and trust others enough to tell them ours. The feeling of trust is a feeling of security - so if you feel insecure, are you sure that he's as able to compartmentalize as you think?

    3. Our relationship is based on friendship and we both hold that to be the highest form of love.
    You know better than that, though. We have many friends, and we love them, but this isn't the sort of love that drives people to write songs and poetry, or to create artistic masterpieces. Furthermore, there's a reason that most married couples consider each other their best friends, but also consider their relationship to go beyond that.

    4. I'm seeing other people too! I feel like a hypocrite.
    This is an interesting factor. Do you want to see other people? If so, why? If not, why do you continue to see other people?

    These feelings of jealousy are surely some knee-jerk response in me that I can overcome so I can just enjoy the relationship as it is. What are some suggestions?
    They're much more than that. Give yourself some credit - you're feeling this way for a reason. It might be that you simply can't enjoy the relationship as it is, and what's more - there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. You feel the way that you do, and there's no one who can tell you that you're right or wrong for feeling that way.

    You may, though, want to spend some time mulling over exactly what it is that you feel, what evokes those feelings within you, and what you want/need out of the relationship.

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